On, Wisconsin!

On, Wisconsin! On, Wisconsin!

Grand old Badger state!

We, thy loyal sons and daughters

Hail thee good and great.

On, Wisconsin! On, Wisconsin!

Champion of the right.

"Forward," our motto - God

Will give thee might!

On, Wisconsin, indeed.

If it's not the necrophiles, it's the bloodthirsty packs of wolves killing your hunting dogs.

Speaking of necrophilia, Wisconsin State Senator Dale Schultz (R. Richland Center) believes that it happens "more frequently than people realize." He's sponsoring new anti-necrophilia legislation, because freaks who feel compelled to dig up graves and bang corpses would probably be deterred from that behavior by stronger laws.

Meanwhile, their prisoners are busy squirting toothpaste tubes full of urine at hapless prison guards. The prisoners are possibly angry because, according to multiple sources, it's illegal to serve them margarine.

I don't care if any of this is true, really, as long as I find it at least mildly entertaining.