Return of the Sunday Afternoon Cocktail

Probably the most deliciously difficult thing about today's Sunday Afternoon Cocktail was sipping through the two or three variations my bride went through before settling on her final version. First it was a bit too much blueberry schnapps; then it was the unfortunate inky appearance that the muddled blueberries imparted. Lucky for me, she worked it out, and here we are:

The Blue Moon of Kentucky cocktail (serves 2):

In a cocktail shaker or large glass measuring cup:

-muddle ½ cup of blueberries with a ¼ cup of triple sec & a tablespoon of lemon juice. Let sit for 15 minutes (at least)

Add 1 ½ oz of blueberry schnapps (DeKuyper)

-Add 1/3 cup bourbon

-Strain, pour over ice in a tall glass, garnish with fresh blueberries and lemon peel

Return of the suffering bastard

Yes, today's Sunday Afternoon Cocktail was The Suffering Bastard:

1 oz bourbon
1 oz gin
1 oz lime juice
1 dash Angostura bitters

-Mix ingredients and pour over ice, top up with ginger ale or ginger beer
-Garnish with an orange slice and maraschino cherry
(*Normally I make these in a rocks glass, but decided a pilsener glass might be more festive today)

I came in from gardening a few minutes earlier than MizBubs to have these ready for her. You'll see that she's nearly worked her fingers to the bone, and I got this drink to her just in time. She is a girl dynamo.

The tomatoes, pattypan squash and herbs are in. The the sunflowers are planted and the back of the house cleared. Just a few more things to be done now. The de-whitetrashification is proceeding nicely:

Sunflowers

Our humble square foot garden

The herb garden before weeding and planting

And after

Lower left corner is mint, lower right corner is chives, upper right corner is garlic chives, upper left corner is dill. Those are all there from last year. Invisible in this picture are all the seeds that MizBubs planted just moments before.

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The past few days I've been something of a suffering bastard myself. I have an appointment with a new chiropractor on Tuesday, and I'm going to force myself to call the podiatrist this week as well. I suspect I have a heel spur and have barely run since April. I never got adjusted after the three days of defensive tactics training earlier this month, and it's left me creaky, sluggish and stiff.

Tomorrow I begin three days of zombie apocalypse preparedness training. I was told to bring a gas mask. We'll see how that goes.

Hope y'all had a nice weekend.

In a nutshell

The weekend was splendid.

Pilcrow Lit Fest wrapped up with Opium's Literary Death Match and the Rebuilt Books Auction. Yours truly got appointed AV geek for a day and worked the microphones and lights for the event at the ViaDuct Theater. I am not in the habit of attending readings, but I'm going to start. There is something really cool about hearing people reading their stories. As a bonus I got to hang out with Amy Guth, her hub and a couple of friends afterward at the Silver Cloud Bar & Grill. I have a soft spot for that place because MizBubs, girl genius, once re-designed our kitchen and living room on the back of a cocktail napkin there years ago.

Sunday afternoon was my niece's first birthday party, and that was a blast. My brother and his wife throw a good party, and I waddled out of there fat and happy.

Sunday night we made our way over to the Tiki Terrace after a power nap, and had a few drinks at Retro Zombie Tiki Terror. The event was co-hosted by Kitty Zombie (an amazing character!), ChicagoZombie.com, ZombiePinups.com and Zombie Army Productions. Our very own Nora made a few clams doing zombie makeup, and then to top off the evening she won the zombie pin-up contest! Behold, zombies at the tiki bar in all their splendor:

Since it was Sunday, you know there were cocktails. And the Sunday Afternoon Cocktail was (of course)

The Zombie (recipe from this story about Beachbum Berry)

1 ounce fresh lime juice

3/4 ounce unsweetened pineapple juice

3/4 ounce papaya nectar

1/2 ounce applejack

1 ounce dark Jamaican rum

2 ounces Barbados rum

1 ounce light Puerto Rican rum

1/2 ounce 151-proof Demerara rum

tablespoon powdered sugar

Shake everything--except Demerara--with ice cubes. Float Demerara on top of drink. Garnish with mint sprig, pineapple cube skewered between red and green cocktail cherries, and a pinch of powdered sugar sprinkled all over.

Today we managed to get out into the yard to work on the annual de-whitetrashification. We repaired some loose stones on the front porch, weeded, cut the lawn and cleaned up the herb garden. While I was working on the porch, MizBubs, girl dynamo, got the idea of repairing and sprucing up our bird bath:



Finally, as a bonus, since today felt like a Sunday we had another cocktail. Today's 3-Day Weekend That Feels Like A Sunday Afternoon Cocktail was:

The Mint Julep

8 mint leaves
2 tablespoons simple syrup
3 shots of bourbon
crushed ice

Tear up the mint leaves and place in the bottom of a tall glass. Add syrup and muddle (the handle of a wooden spoon works well if you don't have a muddler). Add bourbon and stir. Fill the glass with crushed ice and stir again, garnish with a sprig of mint. Enjoy!

The return of the Sunday Afternoon Cocktail

Wow, what a weekend. It's the first time in months that all four of us have been home at the same time on a weekend. We cleaned out the basement and garage in preparation for a big-ass garage sale in two weeks: a telescope, lots of books, electronics, and all the flotsam and jetsam of our cluttered lives will all be up for grabs.

I'm sitting here typing this in a quiet moment while I wait for dinner to cook. The farmer's market is still a few weeks away. We've got broccoli tossed with panko, basil and Romano cheese roasting in the oven. There are potatoes in there too, roasting away. Costco had a sale on these little steaks wrapped in bacon, and those will go in last. Our youngest is sitting in the ornamental crab apple tree outside the front window, singing. MizBubs is icing her elbow and enjoying the first Sunday Afternoon Cocktail of the season: the Sazerac.

• Pour a few drops of absinthe (or Absente, or Herbsaint) into a rocks glass, and swirl to coat
• Mix 2 oz rye whiskey (or bourbon in a pinch), 1/2 oz of bar syrup, and 3 drops of Peychaud's Bitters
• Pour into the glass, and rub the rim of the glass with a lemon peel
• Drink and enjoy
  

I did a short self-defense class for a group of 13 year old girl scouts earlier this afternoon, and that was fun. It's a great feeling to teach a few simple things to a young woman and see her confidence grow a little.

There was some type of police standoff a couple blocks behind our house involving a suicidal subject on the roof of his house. It's strange seeing cops from other towns blocking intersections in your neighborhood. I'm assuming it worked out ok, since they were all gone when I returned home at 6pm.

There's lots on the agenda this week folks. Hope y'all had a great weekend.

Remoulade

Remoulade...I'm in love with saying that word. I made my first remoulade sauce earlier today, and it came out pretty well.

Our eldest requested fried scallops and jambalaya for her birthday dinner, with pecan pie for dessert.

This was the scallop portion of the meal: deep-fried scallops served over salad greens with remoulade sauce and crispy onions.



I may have a new house bourbon--Buffalo Trace. It's pretty freaking delightful. A little Buffalo Trace over ice with a splash of water was the Sunday afternoon cocktail while the jambalaya cooked, football blasting in the background.

All in all, a fine day. Hope y'all had a great weekend...

Holiday Season Snapshots: Last Minute Shopping

I saw a nice family the other night as I got done shopping. They were sitting in the food court: mom, dad and three daughters who looked to be between 7 and 12 years old. What first caught my attention was that the three kids were wearing matching Santa hats. The next thing I noticed was that they all looked happy--ma and pa, and all three kids, genuinely seemed to be enjoying each other's company, and enjoying their respite over churros and and soft drinks during an evening of shopping. There was not a hint of frustration, of anxiety, of tension. None of that. And the Santa hats weren't some ironic statement. This was no hipster family. It was just good clean all-American fun.

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The eldest and I swung through Borders earlier tonight. While we were trying to find a copy of Zombie Haiku, I noticed a plump middle-aged matron sitting in one of the comfy chairs. She was slightly shiny, about to break a sweat from wearing her winter parka in the store, and she looked kind of cross. She was talking pretty loudly on a cell phone, so I took that as an invitation to eavesdrop on her conversation:

"They said they were bringing a ham! I asked them to bring a turkey for Christmas dinner, but they're bringing a ham. I told them I said turkey for a reason, that's what was on the menu. No, they asked me why couldn't ham be on the menu! Can you believe that?"

She was, as my eldest observed, right on the edge of a major league spaz attack. I assumed she was talking about a family member or close friend, since she had apparently not only invited them to Christmas dinner but also asked them to bring the main meat course.

So, here's my question:

Who's the bigger dick in this situation? The person who can't follow a simple request to bring a turkey to dinner, and has to go improvising with pork product? Or the person who can't just be gracious and accept whatever meat product their loved one shows up with?

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I will be tallying the results of the Germany or Florida: Amputee Criminal Holiday Edition! contest in the near future. I'm too busy coughing up half a lung to do it now. It will be a post-Christmas surprise, and if the winner is local, they might receive their prize at the Drysedale Awards on December 29.

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Now, as part of my ongoing commitment to lazy blogging, I am re-posting this piece from December 24, 2006.

The Sprawling Ramshackle Compound Helpful
Guide to Last-Minute Shopping

Many people visit this website for useful, up-to-date information on important topics such as freaks, animal attacks and tasty drink recipes. Tonight I'm adding a new service: a comprehensive guide to last minute shopping. And by last minute, I mean, last minute. Shortly before midnight on Christmas Eve. Heck, even laster-minute than that. Thanks to the corporate slavedrivers at Walgreens, you can do your last minute shopping on Christmas day even, on your way to whatever family function it is you're going to. This sign says it all:

Yes, I know it's a little blurry. But that's just how it looks to your average Christmas Eve drunkard, roaming desperately through the northwest suburbs, chainsmoking and swearing to baby Jesus that next year he won't procrastinate like this.

I used to tell people I did all my Christmas shopping on December 23 and 24, at Walgreens. I don't know anyone whose heart isn't warmed by opening a hastily-wrapped gift to discover the newest Chia novelty or a tasty Whitman Sampler. But now Walgreens has so much more to offer. Here are a few ideas:

1) Check out the picture frame and photo album display. Grab a reasonably-priced frame and then wander over to the magazine section. Pick out a magazine with lots of nice pictures inside. Cut out the prettiest page and fit it into the frame. Everyone loves a beautiful piece of artwork!

2) Head for the toy aisle. The Walgreens closest to me added a second half of an aisle dedicated to inexpensive Chinese imports. They've got everything from toy soldiers to Floam to discontinued models of Barbie.

3) Buy an appliance!

You can get a staggering array of kitchen gadgets. Trust me, that special girl in your life will LOVE getting a brand new omlette maker! And she'll likely be even more impressed when she finds out you only paid $9.99 for it; chicks dig guys who are both thoughtful and thrifty.

Here are two useful tips for fitting in when you make your late night or early morning shopping run:

1) Smoke a lot of cigarettes right before you go inside. It seems like most of the people shopping at Walgreens after 10 pm on Christmas eve smell heavily of cigarette smoke. And maybe booze, but that might be aftershave. I didn't get close enough to be sure.

2) Talk on a cell phone. Hitting the Walgreens can be a team effort. For every brave Joe prowling the aisles, there's a resilient, maybe even long-suffering, Jane at home whispering guidance into his ear.

Just don't try and buy any Club Man hair tonic for your brother. They're sold out.

Merry Christmas!

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And finally, I'd like to leave you with some pleasant, family-friendly holiday images:

You can't tell from this picture, but she's drinking this weekend's Sunday Afternoon Cocktail. The recipe is perfect for the wintry mix we've been experiencing lately. I call it Compound Coffee:



-1 cup of strong coffee or expresso
-1/2 teaspoon sugar
-1 shot bourbon
-1 shot Irish cream liqueur (like Bailey's)
-1/2 shot of Grand Marnier or Triple Sec
-Whipped cream

Place sugar in the bottom of a coffee mug. Fill 2/3 up with hot strong coffee, stir. Add bourbon, Irish cream liqueur and Gran Marnier, stir.

Top with whipped cream. Drink and enjoy. Feel the warmth. Fall asleep on the couch.

Sunday odds and ends

I came home from work tonight and found this on the dining room table:

MizBubs, her mom and our youngest had gone out to some thrift shops this afternoon. Our youngest definitely scored the best stuff. Not only did she get the earth-tone yarn art masterpiece pictured above, she also got this 5x7 print:



Her room is already a riot of color and curiosities

Full of carnival postcards and big-eyed cats



So these latest acquisitions will fit right in.

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Work is relatively pleasant and uneventful, but for some reason it's pissing me off to even be there. I have a Green Monkey Music Project mix to work on for my favorite Canadian zombie, and I'm a little peeved that I missed out on a chance to buy a Chinese made AK-47 for only $275. It's like I'm the only resentful middle-aged white guy around who's not getting in on the massive wave of hysterical gun purchasing.

Other than that, I got nothing.

There was no Sunday afternoon cocktail, since I was at work. I know, if I was any kind of hard-working, two-fisted old-school detective I wouldn't let being at work stop me from drinking. Well, just because there wasn't a Sunday afternoon cocktail doesn't mean there can't be a Sunday evening cocktail. Hell's bells, it doesn't even have to be a proper cocktail.

Tonight's drink is bourbon. Wild Turkey 101, on the rocks, with just a splash of water. Drink and repeat as needed.

Well...that's it for now I guess.

It's been swell.

Right now my head is spinning. This week marked the beginning of my return to school. The combination of overtime, my poor attention span and my failure to pick up my new reading glasses has made it a real challenge. The subject--"Research methods in management science" didn't help any. But I persevered, and completed what I needed to do. Only 7 weeks to go.

Yesterday MizBubs and I spent the day at Angelic Organics farm attending a workshop entitled "Farm Dreams: Addressing risks and resources to start a small farm or market garden". The picture of the lovely goat who graced yesterday's post was taken at that event.

Angelic Organics is one of the largest (if not the largest) CSA in the United States. Each week they pack about 1,400 boxes of fresh produce destined for their shareholders. The proprietor of the farm is the subject of an interesting little documentary titled The Real Dirt on Farmer John.

MizBubs and I know that what we want to do is to check out of where we're at, and head for someplace a little greener and more pastoral. We are officially on the 2-4 year plan for that. Anyway, we attended this workshop, got a nice tour of the farm, and reinforced our notions of what we want to do--which is to be out in the country playing in the dirt.

In the meantime, what do we do? We have a daughter who starts her junior year of high school in two weeks, and another who's half way through college. I have 7 months until I become eligible for my sweet police pension, but I have 4 years until I can begin to collect it. I have thrown myself into graduate school to attempt a master's degree in management, so I can successfully whore myself out to corporate America if necessary. No, wait, that sounds ugly. I'm doing the graduate school thing because I want to have more employment options when I pull the plug on my career in the next few years. I have a book I want to write that is for now a growing collection of articles and unread books and clever phrases banging around in my head that I can't put to paper. MizBubs is busy learning more about sustainable farming and is looking at going back to college as well.

Work continues to consume and amuse. I put in nearly 20 hours of overtime in the last week as a result of a flareup in gang activity and a robbery that landed an 85 year old woman in the hospital. I did hear one of the best lines I've heard in a while, from a loud, angry drunk who felt he'd been disrespected by the scrawny Polish-speaking bartender at a banquet hall:

"Yeah some time ah gotta indication ah oughtta knock a motherfuckah OUT."

As I heard this I was standing about 15 feet away, talking to a dapper gentleman in a creamy 4 button suit and bright blue shoes, trying to figure out what happened before the indication man's meltdown.

Yes indeed. Some times I get a indication too. Right now I'm getting a indication that something has to give, and for now it's going to be blogging. At least for a few weeks, until I get my head screwed on straight. Heck, knowing how I like to blab, it'll probably only be for 4 or 5 days. Who knows.

I haven't been commenting on other blogs. I'm lucky when I even get to read them. The fact is, I'd rather be a-bloggin' than reading about quantitative research methods, but this isn't going to bring me any closer to a master's degree. The main thing is, we are developing a plan, and right now I can't afford to be doing anything that doesn't help put me closer to where I want to be.

You know I like visiting y'all, and reading what you have to say, and following all your kooky links. And I like posting, and making y'all uncomfortable with freaks and clowns, and lord knows I'll never forgive myself if a single person falls victim to crack cocaine-fueled alligator attack because I didn't do my job.

All that being said, for now I'm taking a powder folks.

But first I'll give you a Sunday afternoon cocktail, and some tasty food images to chew on while I'm away:

The bee-stung julep

8 mint leaves
1/2 oz organic honey
2 oz Wild Turkey 101 bourbon

Muddle the honey and mint leaves together (use less honey than you would bar syrup in a traditional julep) in the bottom of a tall glass

Add bourbon, mix some more

Fill with ice (preferably crushed, but we were too lazy to do that yesterday)

Top with a splash of water if desired, and garnish with a sprig of fresh mint

Dinner on Sunday was lovely. The lovely and gracious MizBubs really outdid herself in the bounty-of-the-earth department. We picked up some tomatoes at the farm, and our own tomato harvest has started. Our own produce stacked up very nicely, thank you.

MizBubs sliced some tomatoes and fresh mozzarella and herbs



Then she made a chilled green bean and chickpea salad, again with the herbs from our garden. It was redolent of lemon thyme, and garnished with nasturtium flowers, as were the tomatoes

I cooked pork. Pork tenderloin crusted in creole mustard and panko, and some roasted sweet potatoes. The overall effect on the plate, and on the palate, was pleasing



See you later, alligators. I'll be around.

What a weekend

What a weekend.

On Saturday MizBubs and I visited the Midwest Fiber & Folk Art Fair at McHenry College. She bought some wool, I bought some hiking socks made from alpaca, and we met some interesting people who run small goat farms. We've been stepping up the research into learning what it will take to get out of where we're at, and into that rural compound we've been dreaming of. It was great talking with some people who've actually done it and are making a living at small sustainable farming. The event was livened up by the presence of the Barehand Jug Band. You know I was happy when I turned a corner and heard the magic combination of tuba and spoons. I turned to an older gent who was enjoying the show, and we mentioned that the only thing missing was a washboard. 10 minutes later I walked by and sure enough, they had an adorable girl playing a washboard. Nice kids, good music.

After the fair we headed out to Grayslake and spent the next few hours catching up with some good friends who (I'm almost ashamed to say this) we haven't seen in a couple of years. It was like we'd just visited last week, and next thing it was 1 am and time to go home. We drove home through a beautiful thunderstorm and collapsed into bed happy.

On Sunday we got to meet Katy aka Dino and her man Grumpy, who stopped by while they were in town for a wedding. The visit was good, but too short. I realized too late that I was a horrible host--I thought it would be nice to sit out in the screen house, and it didn't occur to me until over an hour later that it was too hot and humid to comfortably sit outside. The swamp dweller in me was oblivious to the discomfort of our guests until it was almost time for them to go. Please come back Katy, I promise we can sit in the air conditioning next time.

Later that afternoon we were visited by jet-setting expatriate Lulu. Back on her winter vacation Lulu gifted us with a bottle of Thai whisky, so I invented a drink for the occasion:

The Muay Thai Fizz

-2 shots of unknown Thai whiskey



-2 shots of lime juice

Pour in a tall glass full of ice, top with tonic water and garnish with a sprig of mint. Fizzy and refreshing, and if you drink more than two you'll feel like you climbed in the ring and got kicked in the head. Invigorating.

Later we chowed down on pork and pie. Pork tenderloin wrapped in herbs and bacon, steamed new potatoes with fresh pesto, and a lemon chess pie, with black raspberry compote whipped up by MizBubs.



Mmmmm. Pie.

Tomorrow it's jury duty for my better half, and a physical exam and back to work for me. Happy trails!

Sore but happy

I've been thinking of making chocolate chip cookies without chocolate chips. I think that what I want lately is more stuff without stuff in it.

-Youngest Daughter, expounding on her new theories about seeking simplicity in her diet. She said this after a dinner of pan-seared scallops, grilled zuchini and asparagus, and ravioli with a light sauce of butter and caramelized onions. She cleaned her plate while telling us that she prefers "normal" food, and thinks it's a result of the way we cook.

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I still didn't know what to make for dinner tonight when MizBubs, hardest-working gal in suburbia, dragged herself home from the library. Yesterday, while I was at work, she made the first official pork-based Sunday dinner of summer (baked ham, scalloped potatoes, a chilled salad of green beans, herbs and yellow cherry tomatoes, and an amazing fruit salad featuring pineapple, watermelon, mango and blackberries dressed with honey, lemon juice and mint leaves.)



It drove me nuts that I didn't cook any of it, and I couldn't wait more than a day without trying in my very manly and competitive way to match her.

Lucky for me I found a few slices of bacon in a ziploc bag in the fridge, and a frozen bag of Costco scallops in the deep freeze. When you find bacon and scallops you didn't know you had, well--dinner just practically cooks itself.

And I know this is late, but yesterday was also the first mint julep of the season. My bride cleaned up the garden beds, and our mint plant is about a foot tall and a foot around now. We've also got chives and garlic chives from last year, basil, dill, cilantro, marjoram, thyme and some extra lettuce. We've got rosemary, sage, tarragon, lemon thyme and thyme in planters on the back porch. For now the back porch remains the last trashy holdout, so there's no pictures of that.



So, yesterday's official Sunday Afternoon Cocktail is the mint julep:

• 8 mint leaves
• 1 oz bar syrup
• 2 oz Wild Turkey 101 bourbon

1. Muddle bar syrup and mint leaves together (for best results, leave the mixture overnight to bring out a stronger mint flavor)
2. Pour syrup/mint mixture in the bottom of a tall glass
3. Add bourbon
4. Fill with ice (preferably crushed, but we were too lazy to do that yesterday)
5. Top with a splash of water if desired, and garnish with a sprig of fresh mint

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You'll note that the hand holding the mint julep is bandaged and the manicure shows signs of wear. This is because MizBubs, girl dynamo, worked her fingers to dirty nubs this weekend. The de-whitetrashification of the yard continues. We had reached a point a few weeks ago where we were precisely one car up on blocks, one overpriced bass boat and a sofa on the porch away from total trashitude. I briefly considered giving up on cleaning up, and just using the pile of free wood chips as firestarter to end the whole mess.

But we stuck with it, and we're almost ready to enjoy the summer in the yard. The native garden in the front is weeded and doing well:



The vegetable garden is planted with kale, chard, lettuce, haricots vert, burgundy bush beans, Armenian cucumbers, radishes and mixed miniature gourds.

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Want to know the coolest thing that happened this week?

MizBubs, without my knowing, sneaked out to the backyard, back where the biggest bunch of wood chips had been piled. Under cover of night and early in the morning she worked swiftly and silently. With some basic hand tools, a 5 gallon tub of varnish and a sketchy plan from a 1949 Popular Mechanics she shaped those wood chips into a 17 foot long canoe! Boy, was I ever surprised!




On Saturday, when we got done with our chores, we took the new canoe out to Busse Lake and paddled for around an hour or so. Man, did it feel good. We haven't been in a canoe together for about two years, and we've missed it bad. We floated around and saw a raccoon nosing around the water, and saw a bunch of cool-looking birds that we thought were cormorants. Mostly we just paddled around grinning. At one point the wind kicked up and we were paddling directly into it. We both went quiet, and without saying anything we each started paddling harder to keep going into the wind. The feeling of shared exertion, outside, is perfect.

It wasn't until later that night that I realized that following several hours of shoveling and yard work with an hour of vigorous canoe paddling is probably not the brightest idea. Oh well. Sore but happy is not a bad way to go through life.

Slap-happy Sunday

I'm still happily exhausted from last night's fundraiser for the New Orleans Public Library Foundation. We got home well after 1 in the morning, and ended up sleeping until 10:30. Ahhhh.

Amy Guth raised $4,000 in one night, and she is to be mightily commended. Watch her blog, because I'm sure she'll be posting a bit once Pilcrow ends tonight. I was thrilled that, in the end, I could use my powers for good by providing an armed escort to Ms. Guth when she deposited the proceeds at the bank. At one point one of my daughters asked if I was drunk, but then realized that it was just that my eyes had taken on that watery just-about-to-cry look that I get sometimes when people start talking about New Orleans.

What a wonderful night. I ended up bidding on, and winning, a rebuilt book from author Timothy Schaffert. He had re-worked a library copy of The Phantom Limbs of the Rollow Sisters with some doll parts and an antique key. My youngest fell in love with it. After the auction Mr. Schaffert stopped by and chatted, and my daughter told him that his rebuilt book reminded her of the movie Tideland. I think he took that for the compliment it was intended as.

Katie Schwartz... Katie Schwartz! She's now part of our family, and we look forward to her return in October. I wish I'd had more time to talk with her friend Jonuel (I think that's the spelling?) because he was engaging, witty, and a great conversationalist. Meeting Katie and her friend, and seeing the response that Amy Guth got to her inaugural Pilcrow outing, reminded me of the experience we had at Johnny Yen's birthday party last weekend. In all cases I was impressed by the ability of good people to draw other like souls to them, and the gift it is to be able to introduce people, and turn strangers into friends.

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So now, how do we enjoy a day with nothing to do? (yes, I know about the pile of wood chips, pipe down, ok, I'll get to them tomorrow when I'm done commemorating our war dead.) Here's how we spend a day like that. We cook pork, putter around, and drink something tasty.

Right now we have 6 pounds of boneless pork ribs grilling over hickory smoke in back. According to MizBubs the back porch smells like a restaurant. I made fresh barbecue sauce, which I think came out pretty well, and she's made a huge bowl of Maw-Maw's slaw, an Emeril Lagasse recipe involving cabbage, kale and homemade mayonnaise. There's a pound of fresh asparagus waiting to be grilled, and ice cream from Capannari's.

And MizBubs, bless her, decided to make today's Sunday Afternoon Cocktail: Sangria!

1 bottle of rose wine
1 bottle of Pinot Grigio
1 Cameo apple
1 Valencia orange
1 pint of blackberries
1 cup of triple sec

• Chop the apple and orange, and place in a large pitcher with the blackberries
• Add the triple sec and let sit for a while
• Add the wine, stir, and refrigerate for one hour
• Serve over ice and enjoy
  

Bottoms up!

End of the day

I hope everyone had a decent weekend.

Contrary to what I posted earlier, MizBubs did not just want a drink and a smoke and to be left the hell alone today. Nor did my mom. So we forced them to gorge themselves on sushi and ice cream cake, then I got my better half home and plied her with champagne.

Yes, the Sunday afternoon cocktail today is champagne. Served in a wine glass, not a flute, because a flute just doesn't hold enough and we were too lazy to keep getting up off the couch for more. Here we sit, watching Bobby Flay and some blonde chick cook pork shoulder. I just watched two of the throwdown judges describe themselves as "certified barbecue judges" and I thought...hmm, how does one become a certified barbecue judge? I must find out.

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So MizBubs, relentless girl dynamo, worked her ass off this weekend prior to Mother's day. Our youngest celebrated her 16th birthday by having a few friends over, and we had to get the house into shape. Our place was still looking pretty disastrous from having a few rooms painted while I was out of town. We spent Saturday morning cleaning like crazy before I left for work, and before the teenage girls arrived.

We made a few changes in the living room and tiki bar, and honestly I can't wait to have some of y'all over this summer to hang out, eat and drink with us. I'll spare you the before pictures and just go right to the good stuff.

This is how it looks from the kitchen, walking back:



Here's the youngest, reclining:

A friend of mine had an early 60's hi-fi console that he didn't want. I got it from him in exchange for a bottle of Cabo Wabo tequila. We've always wanted a big-ass tropical plant, and MizBubs ran out today to IKEA and treated herself to a Majesty palm tree for $15.



The shelves behind the tiki bar got cleaned up and reorganized, and I put some thrift shop record album covers up on the wall.

And here's the tiki bar, with all the crap cleaned off it:



So here we sit, sipping our champagne and contemplating our next move. There's a lot in the pipeline, I'll tell you.

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I thought I'd done a pretty thorough job of reviewing the current alligator issues facing us. Sure enough, as soon as I sat back and felt satisfied, a new threat emerged. Fortunately, intrepid law enforcement intervened and disaster was averted:

Burglary suspect caught driving with alligator passenger

Yes, that's correct. A police officer stopped a car for driving erratically, and it turned out the driver had just committed a burglary. He had also dragged an alligator out of a ditch and stuffed it into the backseat of his car, where it remained until the officer stopped him. Alcohol was involved.

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So what's going on this week? Well, I'm making some big personal changes to shake this malaise I've been suffering and get back into running shape. I'm a physical disaster. I've been putting off visiting my allergist, I'm prone to wheezing, and I weigh more than I have in years. All this starts to change tomorrow. So that's good. I got a few projects to work on, including some honor guard stuff. Hopefully I won't ruin anyone's Memorial Day like I did last year. I'm working on another corporate training gig that may put some cold cash in my pockets.

And we're only a couple weeks from Pilcrow Litfest. Come on, folks, we're almost there. Someone throw a few dollars their way so I can take that widget off my page. It's slowing things down.

Thanks.

Back to normal...

Or, at least, as close to normal as we get.

I finally arrived home around midnight on Thursday night/Friday morning after an invigorating 15 hour drive through thunderstorms, high winds and tornado warnings. Good times. I have sent the first email in what I'm sure will be the lengthy process of trying to obtain some satisfaction from American Airlines. I had 4 flights canceled in a 24 hour period. At least I wasn't one of those poor bastards stranded at the airport, and I didn't have a whole family in tow with me. Thank you, each and every one of you, for your kind comments while I was away. Business travelers, I salute you. Honestly, I don't think I'd want to live like this.

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The original plan this last week was for me to fly to Dallas, do that thing that I do, and be home Wednesday afternoon. Then I was going to spend the next few days working around the house. You see, it's not only time for the annual de-whitetrashification, but it's also redecorating season. We found a painter to do our kitchen/study, living room/back hallway/bathroom, and our youngest daughter's bedroom. MizBubs, girl dynamo, got everything moved around and ready for the painter. This meant that our dining room became a totally unusable maze of stuff from half the other rooms in the house.

MizBubs, girl dynamo that she is, is still human, and she got sick this week while I was gone. Picture your average suburban home in the middle of a redecorating project, populated by two teenagers, two dogs and a sick mom with an absentee husband. Oh, and every person in that household collects something. That's us.

So we're trying to get back on track. Which is hard, and my bride had to work this weekend too. When I got done with the dinner dishes tonight I noticed MizBubs working her delicate fingers to the bone, ironing the living room curtains to get them back on the wall. She seemed so determined, so plucky, so saintly as she toiled away. I thought to myself "now that looks like a girl who could use a strong drink."

I went to work. Originally I was going to make something called a "fancy bourbon" but we were out of triple sec. I made a few substitutions and arrived at this here drink:

The Kentucky Bluegrass

• 2 shots of bourbon
• 1/2 shot of blue Curacao
  
• 2 dashes of bitters
• 1/2 teaspoon of superfine sugar

Mix the ingredients together in a cocktail shaker over ice, shake well. Strain into a martini glass and serve:

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I discovered something new in Dallas: fried pie. I found it at a barbecue place near SMU called Peggy Sue BBQ. Picture an empanada with flaky buttery pie crust, and delicious pie filling. It was like what a Hostess fruit pie would be like if it didn't suck. The day I was there they only had two flavors, coconut and apricot. I had the apricot, topped with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. Their chopped brisket wasn't bad either, I'll tell you what.

Hope everyone had a good weekend. See you tomorrow.