Then think about heading out to Stockton, California for the Stockton Asparagus Festival.
If you'd been better-organized, you could have registered for the World Deep-Fried Asparagus Eating Championship, but sadly registration for that event has closed. So now, in addition to being hungry, you'll be unable to compete for that $2,250 prize pool.
Still stinging from the sense of missed opportunity? Go to the official website of the International Federation of Competitive Eating. You'll find plenty of future opportunities to compete against other committed gurgitators and gustatory athletes such as yourself.