Thursday, April 05, 2007

This is your brain on country music.

Psych Evaluation Ordered For Supernaw
In a pretrial hearing, Supernaw, 46, listed off police agencies that he said had beaten him to ruin his recording career and his chances at a baseball career.

"It has been a political economic conspiracy, and I have proved it time and time and time again," he told Brazos County Court Judge Jim Locke. Supernaw said the abuse started when he was "held hostage in Paris" in a "mentally retarded home for terrorists" for two weeks in 2002.

Country singer Doug Supernaw also claimed that he was a "test monkey" to see if someone could smoke marijuana and play baseball at the same time.

I don't know about you, but I don't think there's anything in the world, really, that's cooler than a smoking monkey. Except, as I've said before, a smoking monkey wearing a fez. Or a cowboy hat. A big cowboy hat.

**special thanks to Dream City Bureau Chief Bawb the Revelator


Danny Tagalog said...

The smoking monkey is preferable to the smoking gun, and I could do with being one of thise monkeys for a day.

There might be a smidgeon of truth in there. But only a trace of a smidgeon.

These goons are pulled out the hat to keep people laughing and away from the real sharp, psychopath's in office

Dino aka Katy said...

mhhh test monkey???? I think this guy has other problems than the conspiracy to prevent him from being famous

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I'm pretty sure I live in a mentally retarded home for terrorists.

Mob said...

I think that pot is the least of what this guy's been getting into...what a wacky laundry list of grievances and enemies.

Your smoking monkey reminded me of an episode of the aborted Clerks cartoon in which Jay and Silent Bob want to own a monkey, and when asked why Jay replies "So we can teach him to smoke, duh."

The lil' primate is indeed seen later blowing smoke rings.

lulu said...

I am confused, is the home mentally retarded? Are the terrorists? Speaking as an English teacher, that sentence is fucked up.

Grant Miller said...

As everyone knows, it's totally impossible take any illegal drugs and play baseball. Major League Baseball has long opposed illegal drugs in baseball.

Johnny Yen said...

Vida Blue, in his autobiography, admitted pitching a no-hitter on acid.

Of course, it would be hard to play baseball without spilling the bongwater.

Johnny Yen said...

And yeah, Lulu's right (as always) According to that sentence, the home was retarded, and for terrorists.

Bubs said...

In my worst moments I'm afraid this is the life that I'm headed for...

Johnny, the acid guy was Dock Ellis, not Vida Blue. I'll be posting something on him shortly.

Grant, thank God for Major League Baseball. And human growth hormone.

Lulu, what's really f*cked up is how the government and police are persecuting this man, this test monkey.

mob, YES!!

Barbara, I'm thinking of hanging out that shingle over my front door.

Katy, Danny, I agree.