It's been far too long since we've played Germany or Florida. From time to time I find and bookmark suitable news items, and then they sit in my “ideas for blog posts” file. And sit, and sit, dying the slow sad death of the unpublished blog post.
Not today, dammit!
Today is going to be different! Today, my life will have meaning! Today, I will use all those Germany or Florida stories!
Let's get started.
I will give you a list of news items with a brief description of each. You guess whether the story comes from Germany or Florida. On Tuesday or Wednesday I'll publish the original stories, and whichever lucky reader gets the most correct answers will get nothing and like it. No, wait, that doesn't sound right. Here, how's this: whoever gets the most correct answers will have the satisfaction of knowing he or she is the most discerning of SRC readers. I might even send the winner my award-winning recipe for pruno.
Germany or Florida?
A man stabs his friend in the back with a fish.
A bus driver tries to kick a woman off his bus for being too hot.
Police don't charge man who upset his neighbors by throwing a computer out the window.
A man is arrested for beating his brother with a garden gnome.
Family members are arrested for giving alcohol to a 10 month old baby and videotaping it.
Zookeepers get in trouble for killing animals and selling them as meat.
Police, alerted by neighbors complaining of a bad smell and uncollected mail, do a premise check expecting to find a corpse. They find a man with hygiene problems and dirty laundry.
A hospital patient bit a nurse in the face and armpit when the nurse refused to give the patient more painkillers.
A naked tattooed woman is spotted gassing up her sports car and buying smokes.
A man asks a passing police car for a ride, and gets arrested because he forgot to dump the weed he was carrying at the time.
A 480 pound woman dies after spending 6 years on the couch.
A 340 pound man is sentenced to 18 months in prison for repeatedly playing dine n' ditch.
A stripper performs CPR on her customer after he falls out during her performance.