Friday, August 17, 2007

Stupid hillbilly criminal of the week

No, this is not going to become another regular feature. But it could. There are some types of criminal activity that, in my experience, can only be perpetrated by f*cked up hillbillies.

Kasey Kazee decided to rob a liquor store in Ashland, Kentucky. He wrapped himself in duct tape to disguise his identity. He managed to grab two rolls of coins from the register before he was chased out of the store by a club-wielding employee (the club was also wrapped in duct tape), chased down and tackled.

The cops took plenty of pictures of Mr. Kazee as they removed the tape. Mr. Kazee then granted a jailhouse interview and denied being the "duct tape bandit."

My mom knows his family. Seriously.


Echo said...

Do you think the duct tape opened his pores? I'm sensing a new age skin care regimen based on the Hillbilly Robber.... hmmm... I'm sensing a fortune is waiting to be made! Are you with me, Bubs??

kirby said...

A real life Ronnie Dobbs! Run, Ronnie, run.

Bubs said...

Echo, Sadly this hillbilly didn't experience the full pore-cleansing benefit. One account said he was so sweaty that the tape didn't really adhere and it came off pretty easy. Still, it doesn't mean it won't work for some other hillbilly! I'm in!

Kirby, yeah!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Guess they had no problem getting a DNA sample. I want that genius to father my babies!

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Wow, what a small world.

In other news I have gven you a "Creative Blogger" award.

Grant Miller said...

Did I just see a comment from Echo? That is some fucked up shit.

Did you see this guy on Olbermann? I think I might be related to him, but I have no intention to find out.

Splotchy said...

Wait a minute! That's Paul Giamatti!

Bubs said...

Splotchy...maybe his bastard son.

Mr. Miller, I missed his TV appearance. Was it as good as the clip we saw here? You might be related huh? I think Grant Miller Media might have a new correspondent!

Dr MVM, thanks! I better haul ass over there and check it out.

Barbara, I bet you'd have to stand in line behind a half dozen other baby mamas. Guys like this are prolific.