Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Freak of the week


Let's give this a try.

This week's freak is Carlton Davis, the Minnesota Toe-Licker, pictured at right. After stealing a woman's purse and cell phone he announced "now I'm going to suck your feet." And then he did. Thank you, Smoking Gun.

Now, because it is Wednesday (and Wednesday means weenie-wavers!) I'll give you a couple more freaks to consider. While their antics may not be as entertaining as those of some Republican legislators or gospel radio personalities, they're still worthy of note:

51 year old carpenter Percy Honnibal was found not guilty of indecent exposure. Mr. Honnibal likes to work in the nude because it's fun and it keeps his clothes clean and sawdust-free. According to the article:

"Alameda County Superior Court Judge Julie Conger ruled Thursday that although Percy Honniball of Oakland was naked, he was not acting lewdly or seeking sexual gratification."

Judge Conger added, "and anyway, naked middle-aged carpenters are hawt."

Finally, an unnamed freak from Canada, who got caught masturbating in a campus library while viewing porn on a computer. When approached by security the man responded "I'm almost done, can I finish?"


24 comments:

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

This type of post is exactly why I missed you. You cover the dark world of exhibitionists that I try to ignore. Thanks for the laughs my man.

Coaster Punchman said...

Dale, you're terrible!

Splotchy said...

Is that cross-eyed fella sporting a Nike jacket?

I do so love these kinds of product endorsements (Heaven's Gate, etc.).

Echo said...

Just wait til he gets a sliver... Just wait...

Frank Sirmarco said...

I have to vote for the toe-sucker, but give mad props to the masturbating Canadian for wanting to see things through to the end!

Tanya Espanya said...

AHAHAHAHHAH, what CP said!

Beth said...

I can't blame Unidentified Dude. Who doesn't hate not getting to finish?

anandamide said...

I'm with Beth. If you're caught "red handed", may as well tie up loose ends.

My vote would go for the nude carpenter. He thinks it's better to get sawdust in your orifaces than on your clothes? That's nuttier than any toe-sucker.

Dino aka Katy said...

mhhh choices, choices honestly I don't know which one is it

jewgirl said...

as always your freak of the week is fuckin' tits!

Grant Miller said...

My boss is a jewish carpenter. But definitely not that carpenter freak.

kirby said...

Gah! Those eyes can't be for real.

Sornie said...

I gotta vote for hometown fave Carlton davis. A sackful of crazy.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I was pretty certain the library wanker was Dale until I read that he was from Winnipeg. Now I am certain that he is an old boyfriend.

BeckEye said...

There was a guy in Pittsburgh a few years back who would step on the backs of womens' shoes, so their feet would come out of them, and then he would get down and sniff either their feet or shoes...I forget which. As if one would be better than the other.

Dena said...

Thank goodness, now I can see you are truly past the, er, hump.

jin said...

Haahahaaa CP!

Dale...shame...

Bubs YAY!

J.D. said...

[falls off chair and breaks leg; not caring]

Mob said...

Those eyes look like they were made from ping pong balls.

I vote the carpenter craziest, because the other two guys are driven by their (twisted) passions, but anyone who likes (or the very least doesn't mind) sawdust in his nooks and crannies is really nuts.

Dale said...

The nude carpenter? That's plane wrong!

It wasn't me in the library with the candlestick CP.

Writeprocrastinator said...

Minnesota is having quite the week, eh?

As far as Mr. Percy? Splinters are all around, asshat! Jeez! That's why we don't have nailguns at my job, someone would of nailed him, the first very first minute that he tried that...

...with the nailgun, I mean.

Bubs said...

Thanks for stopping by everyone, and thanks for your comments.

kim said...

The best toe licking in Minnesota is when it is 20 below zero, then they are like little piggy popsicles...yum.

Danny Tagalog said...

Oh man, the toe-licker - that's a fake story, isn't it??????

Thanks for your comments Bubs - very interesting.

Go buy Neu! 3. You won't regret it!