Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Time for the midweek freak

Yes, it's Wednesday, and that means one thing here at the compound: weenie wavers. Let's take a look at this week's collection of naked and near-naked freaks.

There was something of a recent epidemic of driving without pants.

William W. Donnell, a truck driver from Tennessee, was stopped by the Indiana State Police. The trooper got a surprise when Mr. Donnell was discovered to be sans pantalon. Mr. Donnell explained that he was more comfortable driving without pants on.

Kim Leblanc of Cincinnati has a more interesting explanation of why he was found inside someone else's automobile, naked from the waist down. He said a leprechaun had let him into the car! The news report says that Mr. Leblanc is still in custody "on a variety of charges." Oh, one more thing, and this may surprise you--drugs were involved.

_____________________


Moving on to other assorted freakery...

An unknown strip club patron in Fort Walton Beach, Florida, was arrested for solicitation of prostitution. Police arrived at the club after the man groped a stripper, opened his pants and exposed his penis. The man explained to officers that the stripper had promised to perform an act of oral copulation on him for $500. He helpfully explained this several times, even after being advised of his rights. The stripper claimed the $500 was for a bottle of champagne, so in that way I suppose alcohol
was involved.



What is it about conservative Republicans and public toilet sex? Louisiana State Senate Candidate, former Louisiana GOP Executive Committee member and St Bernard Parish councilman Joey DiFatta suddenly dropped out of the race citing "chest pains."

Chest pains? Yeah, brought on by the stress of having the New Orleans Times Picayune reveal that he'd been stopped at least twice before doing variations of the old toe-tapping routine in public toilets.


_____________________


And now we arrive at our last story. First, let me say that Florida has come through for me once again. Thank you, Sunshine State!


50-year old Thomas Blacine was arrested after a police dog tracked his scent. Blacine is believed to be "The Naked Tickler", suspected of breaking into at least a dozen homes since 2004, naked, and tickling women while they sleep. He has also videotaped women, and videotaped himself engaging in such antics as urinating into a milk jug.

Blacine reportedly admitted to videotaping women, but denied tickling them.


15 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'd give a pass to the truck driver because really, who wants to spend eighteen hours behind the wheel with a waistband that binds? I'd be tempted to believe the guy tricked by a leprauchan too. Those little fuckers can be wily. But Tickle Boy? That's just weird.

Some Guy said...

I like that the republican is the only one smiling. There must be something going outside the frame of the picture that we can't see.

Elizabeth McQuern said...

A world full of perverts, indeed. And with such wonder-inspiring variety, as well.

Dino said...

while I am not the biggest fan of clothes I don't think I'd take them off while driving ...

The Idea Of Progress said...

Is there anything that brings a smile to my face like the words "Republican" and "sex scandal"

Generalissimo (Dictator) for life said...

weirdo number 2 probably told them "their after me lucky charms."

Katie Schwartz said...

That is s funny- Wait. My favorite is Kim and the tickler. I'm not sure what's worse, that he videotaped himself naked, tickling them and denied it or that he peed in milk containers. Why such a white beverage? Is he a Klany?

lauralu said...

thanks for keeping me informed bubs.

what a bunch of stupid bastards.

Laura.

kim said...

I swear, that guy with the leprechaun was my Prom date.

Hey when are we getting togehte, we need to do something halloweeny.

Joe said...

You know, I just realized I transitioned from Mr Testicles right into weenie-waver Wednesday. Sorry.

Kim, yes we do.

Laura, they're amazing aren't they?

J.G. I like that he admits the naked videotaping and burglary, but NOT the tickling. Like he thinks, somehow, that the tickling is worse?

Dr Evil, hah. I haven't heard anything blamed on a leprechaun before.

TIOP, and the thing is, they're never run-of-the-mill scandals. Lately they all feature prostitutes, meth, toilets, or all of the above.

Katy, I feel weird moving the car in the driveway in my bathrobe. I can't imagine going for a spin without pants.

Bella, I think it's important that people realize the wonderful breadth of the human experience.

Chris, you know there is. You just know it. Or he's having a very special memory.

Kirby, the trucker was probably irritated by sitting on a fat wallet and it was bothering his back on long trips. Rather than risk misplacing his wallet, he just took his pants off.

Dale said...

At least I'm not defending Canada as in some past installments. I appreciate the time off for good behaviour.

Writeprocrastinator said...

I imagine with the exception of Repub, all of these characters will be changing their habits in jail.

Writeprocrastinator said...

BTW,

Just when exactly did "G.O.P." turn from "The Grand Old Party," to "Gay Old Pumpkins?"

Coaster Punchman said...

Imagine, a guy exposing his wang in a strip club. I bet that's the first time that ever happened.

I still don't get that whole top tapping public restroom sex thing. Yeah, the smell of some 80 year old guy's shit, that's what gets me hot.

Mizbubs said...

CP, I know, the guy in the strip club almost doesn't count. As for the toilet thing, I think I've said this before--in my experience it's usually only really conflicted, repressed or closeted guys who go in for that.

WP, I like that.

Dale, it's kind of a relief, isn't it?