Today in Televangelism

February 21st, 1988: Jimmy Swaggart gives his famous "I have sinned against you" speech, blubbering and begging forgiveness after getting caught with a hooker in a Metairie, Louisiana motel. Swaggert, who helped drive fellow evangelists Jim Bakker and Marvin Gorman out of the ministry, was then defrocked himself. Clearly the irony was lost on Jimmy, as he then railed against the Assemblies of God for their lack of forgiveness. There are some good accounts of Swaggart's travails here and here.

Showing how much tougher your old school preachers were, Swaggart blamed his hooker and porn problem on demons, and had said demons cast out over the telephone by Oral Roberts--no three weeks of chickenshit Ted Haggard "counseling" for Jimmy. Nope, just one phone call.

The demons stayed cast out for at least a couple of years. In 1991 Swaggart was again caught with a prostitute. Showing that the forgiveness of his followers was near-inexhaustible, he still had a congregation. He addressed his flock: "God says it's none of your business!"

And he still has that congregation: Jimmy Swaggart Ministries.

I'd say it's clear that Rev. Swaggart has been humbled by his struggles with sins of the flesh. During his Sunday sermon on November 10, 2002, Swaggart shared his thoughts on the prophet Muhammad:

Thank God for that Baptist preacher who stood up and said at a Baptist convention, "I'm going to tell you who Muhammad is: he is a sex pervert, deviant, pedophile who married a 7-year-old girl."

You're not hearing me saints? "What did you say," you ask? The Baptist preacher before thousands said Muhammad was a sex deviant, a pervert, a pedophile. He married a 7-year-old little girl! A little girl, seven years old--that's a pedophile. And, oh, the news went crazy. "Ohhhhhhhh! Hear what he said?"

I don't know who you are, Mr. Preacher, but thank God for you--thank God for a spine that's like a Texas sawlog. Thank God for a heart that beats for Jesus Christ.

Speaking for myself, personally, if I'd ever been caught getting freaky with a series of prostitutes, I'd probably refrain from public statements. But that's just me.

Porn and Pancakes

Oh, yeah, you heard me right. Porn and pancakes.

According to this story from the Associated Press:

"It's not your typical church breakfast. An event billed as "Porn and Pancakes" is being hosted by a church in rural upstate New York."

The event is billed as "an honest discussion about pornography and its impact on society." The article goes on to state that several churches have expressed a desire to host Porn and Pancakes events. P&P is sponsored by an outfit called Triple X Church, or simply X3. X3 is concerned about the pornification of our society, and they aim to help deliver us from its evil.

Now, I have to say I'm not happy with the pornification of American culture. Raising daughters with strong character and a positive body image is a challenge, no doubt. But to me, you do your job as a parent, and you love your kids, and you talk with them and treat them like human beings, and use those "Girls Gone Wild" commercials as teaching moments. You fill your children up with your values (which means, of course, you actually have to have some values of your own to start with, and you can't be shy about instilling them in your kids) and you don't allow society--especially popular youth culture--to be a greater influence than you are.

The thing is, I view pornification as being more a function of commercialism and exploitative capitalism than I view it as a symptom of sin, and I've raised my children accordingly. I have to wonder about folks who prescribe THE HEALING POWER OF JEEBUS as the cure for all ills.

X3 says that they minister to those in the porn industry, and its consumers. There's no doubt that there are plenty of damaged people there who need spiritual help. But I have my doubts about people who are so obsessed with one issue, especially one like pornography. I'm also suspicious of any group addressing some aspect of sexuality that is composed mainly of men. I mean, doesn't it seem at least possible that the real reason a bunch of 20 and 30-something guys want to "minister" to the porn-afflicted could be that they might, uh, want to hang out around hot-looking porn babes? Don't you wonder how many "strictly-for-research" porn collections these guys have? I still haven't decided if the vibe on the site is ironic or just creepy--they bill themselves as the "#1 Christian Porn Site", for instance, and the graphics are meant to resemble adult websites. You can buy a Jesus Loves Porn Stars tee shirt, which is really kind of rockin, except that I'd worry about where the money was going.

What really got me, though, was the Operation Save the Kittens. That's a reference to the "Every time you masturbate, God kills a kitten" picture that's floated around the internet for years. While X3 graciously reassures that they don't think God kills kittens ("you would have to talk to Bible scholars about that") they are strongly against masturbation: "start pleasing Him and stop pleasing yourself."

I wonder if they distribute saltpeter to their members, or if prayer is enough?