Friday, May 16, 2008

It's a splotchy virus

Let me start by saying I am intimidated by any tag that requires any type of creative thought. Like this latest one from Splotchy. He's come up with another story virus, and it looks like he's coughed all over my salad bar and stuck his unwashed fingers in my soup. I have the virus now.

Here's a link to his original post, with the story virus recap.

This is the beginning of the story:

I had been shuffling around the house for a few hours and already felt tired. The doorbell rang. I opened the front door and saw a figure striding away from the house, quickly and purposefully. I looked down and saw a bulky envelope. I picked it up. The handwriting was smudged and cramped, and I could only make out a few words.

And now I continue:

I looked up and down the street but didn’t see any delivery truck, or any car for that matter. No FedEx, no UPS , no creepy-looking porno'd-out conversion van with a half-assed delivery service sign taped to its side. Nothing. It's like delivery man just disappeared. I stepped back inside, re-set the deadbolts and took a closer look at the envelope.

Mentally I ran through the checklist of letter bomb warning signs. The handwriting on the envelope, smudged and cramped as it was, was laid out in a tiny, obsessively neat block lettering. It practically screamed recently-de-institutionalized loner with time on his hands. No ticking or whirring sounds, that’s good. No odd smells, no leaks or stains on the package. Check. Weight seemed evenly distributed, that’s good too. I decided to open it.

Inside I found a plane ticket to Pensacola, a business card for a lawyer in Niceville, five crisp $100 bills and a four page handwritten note. Well. This was different. I poured a cup of coffee, threw some meat to the dogs to stop em barking, and sat down to read.


I now call on these bloggers to get down with the sickness:

Write Procrastinator
Katie Schwartz
Grant Miller
Bad Tempered Zombie

If you decide to get down, please link back to the original Splotchy post.


SkylersDad said...

Thanks for the tag! I shall get to it and report back when I have some spare time, like this weekend probably...

BeckEye said...

Awwwwwww do I HAVE to do this?? I very much dislike memes, although I will do them if they're kind of pop culture-ish. Ones that wreak havoc on my blog theme kind of make me break out in a rash.

Here, I'll finish the story right now.

"Suddenly, one of the dogs pounced on me at ripped my lungs out. I'm dead. The End."

How's that? :)

BeckEye said...

Actually, that's "AND ripped my lungs out." See? I suck at this.

Joe said...

Beckeye, thanks! I wasn't sure but thought I'd give you a try. Sorry for buggin you!

Anonymous said...

I'm working on it as we speak.

Writeprocrastinator said...

Well, thanks for tagging me and I always love writing challenges, but you've forced me to learn far more about Western Florida than I've ever wanted to know.

As a result, I've cursed the next batch of sauerkraut that you will eat. No hard feelings, I hope ; )

Of course, I've just realized that I've dropped the alligator-skinned ball, by not including crocs or gators in there.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Well naturally I would be chuffed to add the droppings of my demented mind to your pile. I shall get to it this weekend!

Anonymous said...

That was fun. Can't wait to see where it goes from here.

SkylersDad said...

It's up sir, thanks for the tag!

Fran said...

You did good!!!

Moderator said...

Friday. This week. Hopefully. Keep an eye out and thanks for the link.

Katie Schwartz said...

Oh, I was so thrilled to be tagged for this by you and Franny via the great Splotch factor! Grazie, love. I posted.

PS: Loved your yarn!!!