Thursday, November 02, 2006

Manliest day ever

Today might have been one of my manliest days ever.

Without being too indelicate, let's say it started on a very positive marital note with the phenomenally talented and lovely MizBubs. After an invigorating shower I went to the kitchen and began grinding fresh venison to cook into some chili at the shooting range later. I suppose it would've been manlier if I'd driven to Wisconsin in a big truck, but still...

I spent the entire afternoon alternately cooking chili for a group of 21 cops, and shooting a variety of firearms: two Glock handguns, an AR-15, an M-14, an MP-5 and a Remington 870 shotgun. The chili was a great success and I got lots of compliments on it. Then we shot some more, at night, which is cool because the muzzle flashes are really impressive. My team won a shooting relay so we didn't have to pick up all the brass from the range, and then I did some more shotgun shooting, which is very manly because it makes your shoulder throb. And then I shot the AK-47. Oh yeah, and I did this while smoking a big fat cigar.

Finally, we cleaned up and drank some bourbon from a flask before leaving. In the words of Teddy Roosevelt, this was "bulliest yet" since it was now in the low 30's and windy. And dark. The only disappointment of the day was the fact that the snow flurries never turned into a real snowstorm.

And here I am now, with my adoring and fabulous bride, bragging about my exploits while I suck down some more Wild Turkey. It feels good. Ahhhh.

5 comments:

Melinda June said...

Say, that is a manly day. You can almost smell the pheromones from here! Too bad you didn't kill a bear with your bare hands.

Bubs said...

Yes, that would have been manliest yet, but only if the bear left me with an awesome scar to show off.

Johnny Yen said...

Maybe you should have saved some of that fake wound from Halloween!

Tenacious S said...

Did anyone slap your ass like they do during football games?

Bubs said...

Almost constantly. And then we all laughed raucously and punched each other.