Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Narcozoology: Birth of a new science!

Johnny Yen, in commenting on on an earlier post about Pipe-Hittin' Exotic Animals, wrote:

"You've firmly established the the crack-crazed fiend/reptile connection. Is this evidence of a methhead/exotic mammal connection?

Will Coatimundi possession be probable cause for a meth search?"
Excellent questions, Johnny. I propose to address those questions, and many more, through the application of a bold new science: Narcozoology. Narcozoology aims to study the relationship between drugs, dope fiends and the animals that surround them. Narcozoology builds on established theories and methods in sociology, psychology, the whole range of reptile sciences, years of paranormal research published in journals that mainstream so-called "academia" doesn't have the guts to publish, and mountains of anecdotal evidence gathered by workers in the field. Narcozoology, while based on these solid foundations, is also driven forward by liberal doses of coffee and bourbon-fueled intuitive leaps. It is, above all, a fearless science.

In order to help spread the word, I ask that from this point forward, any of you, when referring to me, add "founder of the fearless new science of narcozoology." Or words to that effect; I also wouldn't mind being referred to in print as the "world's leading narcozoologist."

Years from now, you'll be able to say you were there at the beginning. How cool is that?


Johnny Yen said...

Years from now, when you're being showered with accolades, I'll be proud to say that I was there at the beginning.

Now let's do it right-- fame, crashing your Jaguar, rehab... you should have it all.

Johnny Yen said...

By the way, I'm going to have to liberally borrow your phrase "bourbon-fueld intuitive leaps."

Tenacious S said...

I suggest you do your first field study in the wilds of Northern California. I hear this yields the highest population density for methed up zookeepers.

justacoolcat said...

Dear Bubs founder of the fearless new science of narcozoology,
,s a former owner of an iguana and someone that has never done meth I feel this violates my 4th amendment rights and my right to bear reptiles.

Dale said...

You're the only hit on the Google bong baby! Congratulations

Bubs said...

Thanks Dale! I always wanted to be known as a man of singular achievement.

Coolcat, I am a strong supporter of the right to bear reptiles, so have no fear. Now, if you don't mind, I'll be sending an intern over to your place with a short questionnaire regarding your exotic pet ownership and any history of drug use.

Ten, I'm working on several hot spots. Northern California is one, as is the entire state of Florida, and a swath of the trailer park midwest that ranges from Missouri through Iowa, southern Illinois, Indiana and parts of Ohio.

Johnny, borrow away. And thanks for the tips on how to handle my breakdown when I hit it big.

justacoolcat said...

Make sure the intern is a looker and female because I have an exotic pet snake to show.