Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Sex in the stacks

I think that our brothers and sisters to the north have much to be proud of this week. Once again, Wisconsin leads the way, miles ahead of us F.I.B.'s to the south.

No, I'm not talking about necrophilia, or oddballs f*cking roadkill. I'm talking about privacy rights--specifically, the privacy rights of library patrons. Even more specifically, the right of library patrons to masturbate in a public library without having to worry about some do-gooder library administrator turning the security video over to the police.

On, Wisconsin!


Johnny Yen said...

"He has shown the surveillance video to library employees..."

...repeatedly, with the words "Hey, you've gotta see this!

My friend Mary, who was a Chicago Public Librarian in the Pilsen neighborhood, was told that they could not keep patrons who were openly watching pornography on the library computers from doing so. Nor could they keep them from tying up a restroom for 15-20 minutes afterward, no matter how many other patrons were waiting to use it.

Bubs said...

Johnny, libraries are freak magnets. Other than the usual problem of being a hangout for homeless people who stink to high heaven and are mentally ill, libraries seem to attract more than their fair share of sex freaks--fondlers and weenie wavers.

The last "client" we got from the library had cut the pockets out of his jeans to allow him easy access, and in his jacket had a bunch of east European foot fetish and face-sitting porn pics that he'd printed off the Chicago public library computers. The pictures had a liberal sample of the bad guy's DNA stuck to them. He said that the CPL system was best for viewing porn, in comparison to suburban libraries.

This guy was on his knees in the stacks, getting busy with himself while watching a woman in her early 20's who was a few feet away. Another patron saw him and got the cop on duty. The cop approached from behind and took the freak down, handcuffing him so quickly and effectively that he hadn't noticed the guy's johnson still poking from the front of his pants like a ship's prow. The cop didn't want to un-cuff him there, so he took his jacket and tied it around the freak's waist like an apron before he led him away. Presumably he lost his erection by the time he got to the PD.

When we interviewed this guy he said he either exposes himself or jerks off in a public place almost every day, sometimes more than once in a day. He listed a bunch of suburban libraries and bookstores, and some in Chicago, that he likes to visit.

jin said...


*jin wonders what's more shocking...the post and links or the comment!*



I am NOT a true Wisconsinite...I SWEAR!

"jew" "girl" said...

I'm surprised he wasn't given an award for creativity. here's a man jerking off to fiction, good literary fiction. as far as I'm concerned, he's raising the masturbatory bar, inviting all porn viewers and typical playboy magazine buyers to try something new.


Bubs said...

J.G. are you talking about the guy in the news story or the one I interviewed? 'Cuz the one I interviewed, there was nothing literary about him. If I could include a scratch n sniff card on this blog you'd really get the idea.

Jin, be proud of your cheesehead heritage!!!