Sunday, July 29, 2007

Sunday morning coffee


It's a beautiful morning. I am now officially at the halfway point in my training for the Chicago Marathon. We ran 13 miles yesterday, and other than some residual stiffness in my legs I didn't feel any negative side effects when I woke up this morning.

We've decided to forgo a trip to the farmer's market today, since the industrious MizBubs stopped and loaded up on produce and fresh deli items at Valli on Friday. I think we're having a pork-free Sunday dinner--she's planning on some kind of stuffed relleno pepper dish. So that leaves me here with my coffee, having a few minutes to not do much of anything, which is always welcome.

I had one of those days on Friday. I'm dying to talk about it, because it says a lot about what my job is like, compared to what other people may think my job is like. I'm trying to find a way to describe it without seeming horribly offensive. I learned a long time ago that stuff I find to be hilarious or fascinating frequently strikes others as just horrible and sad. This point was really illustrated for me last year when I was describing, to some in-laws, a sexual assault investigation that one of our detectives handled at a local transient hotel. I described, in what I thought was a fairly entertaining manner, how the investigation unfolded. I got to the part where I asked the detective, who was fairly new at the time, what he thought about handling his first bizarre sex case. His response (which, to me, makes the whole story) was:

"Well, sarge, if you can't get excited about retard dildo sodomy, what can you get excited about?"

I noticed a couple of sets of wide, horrified eyes and gaping mouths regarding me across our back deck, and I realized that some stories maybe don't need telling. Or maybe, I thought, they just need a better audience! So, maybe later on tonight or tomorrow I'll give it a try.

In the meantime my eldest is sitting here next to me describing her outing to Nocturna at Metro last night. She says the theme last night was pretty girls with dopey guys. I know that's been the story of my marriage so far. We have a yard party to go to this afternoon, and I'll get to meet some of the hot librarians that MizBubs works with. I rarely see book people out in the sun, so I'm looking forward to that.

Now, proving once again that if you sit on your ass long enough the whole world will come to you, my youngest daughter, recently celebrated by a big-shot Chicago literary figure, has joined me, coffee in hand. We're enjoying some Gabby La La before starting our day for real.

See you later, alligator.




11 comments:

Mob said...

I think you've found your audience on the web, sir, because I laughed heartily at that punchline.

I always love your pictures of domestic bliss in your backyard, it always makes me think I should be a more outdoorsy person.

Dale said...

I'd love to sit and listen to your stories sometime Bubs. But in the meantime, I'll just laugh at what you can post and things like this:

I rarely see book people out in the sun, so I'm looking forward to that.

Hilarious.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I love these peeks inside the Bubs family.

Chris said...

For the record, feel free to regale me with tales of retard dildo sodomy any time you like.

Doc said...

I'm with chris. I don't think it's you. I think it was the audience. I can't stop laughing!

Doc

jin said...

I agree with everyone else in here.

LOL funny & you have indeed found your audience.

Now....dish already!!!

Splotchy said...

Just curious, what branch of the family were you addressing where you got the unexpected reaction?

Bubs said...

Splotchy, Steve and Kate, and there were a couple of friends there too.

Jin, later today. I promise.

Doc, thanks.

Chris, will do!

Dr. MVM, Dale and Mob: Thank you!

Dino aka Katy said...

I thought that was a great line sarcasm is always good in those types of moments

Splotchy said...

Okay, just wondering. Feel free to let the freak stories fly when I'm around.

I enjoy them probably a little *too* much.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You gotta love the internetz. All of us freaks will find you and laugh at your jokes.