Saturday, July 28, 2007

On, Wisconsin!

Got a taste for brandy, cheese and necrophilia?

Then by all means, head for Wisconsin, where a state appeals court upheld the dismissal of attempted sexual assault charges against three freaks who dug up a corpse with the intention of getting busy with it. The court ruled that there is no law against corpse-bangin' in the Badger State; Wisconsin lawmakers are frantically drafting new legislation in an attempt to stave off an expected mass migration of corpse lovers from around the nation.

There's no word on whether the attempted theft charge against he three freaks, profiled here in September 2006, will continue in court.

While it may still be legal to love up a corpse in Wisconsin, that only applies to human carcasses, not dead animals. Bryan James Hathaway was found guilty of misdemeanor mistreatment of an animal and received probation and sex offender counseling. Mr. Hathaway, you may recall, was the freak who got caught poking a dead deer by the side of the road last fall.

On, Wisconsin!

7 comments:

BeckEye said...

"Got a taste for brandy, cheese and necrophilia?"

Is that a trick question?

justacoolcat said...

I assume "frantically drafting new legislation" means banging the dead in the pie hole.

Writeprocrastinator said...

What is wrong with these characters? The Packers are no longer a playoff teamn and they go nutso up there. All those cows to tip, and this is what they do instead?

jin said...

*jin hangs her head in shame*

Hey, but at least I went out of the state (country even!) to find a husband!!!

Yay me!

Bubs said...

Jin, the local talent scared you, huh? Was it that all the Wisconsin guys you dated wanted you to soak in a tub of ice water and then lie there perfectly still...

WP, you shudder to think what happens once those cows hit the ground though.

Coolcat...ugh.

Beckeye, that's the Wisconsin trifecta.

Dino aka Katy said...

well you got to love the cheeseheads - I mean it used to be till death do you part I guess they have to rewrite that too

Bubs said...

katy, no kidding! I like that.