Monday, August 20, 2007

Ever feel just wound up and kind of pissed off and you don't know why exactly?

I ask because that's how I feel right now. There are a few things going on...

I'm trying to get a handle on the end of summer, the start of school, blah blah blah, balancing work schedules and personal lives of two adults and two teens blah blah blah trying to get the house organized because we might try and sell in the spring or we might just stick it out here a few more years if we can use our space more efficiently blah blah blah...

Paying college tuition for our eldest while simultaneously fronting the money for my tuition at the same time (at least I'll get reimbursed at the end of the semester) feeling absolute terror at the idea of having to go to school again even though no one's making me do this and I could withdraw right now if I wanted to blah blah blah...

We've totally lost the ability to control Rio's fur and the combination of tumbleweed-sized clumps of German shepherd/Husky mutt fur and high mold counts are starting to get to me. I need to see my allergist since I'm starting to wheeze and have a hard time breathing again, and that's not good when you're trying to run 35 miles a week blah blah blah...

And don't get me started on the f*cking president. I've got about a half dozen Katrina-related stories saved up because I keep telling myself I'll sit down and write some incredibly articulate and devastating critique of this administration's criminal abuse of the Gulf coast, New Orleans in particular, but I probably won't because I'll be tired and easily distracted by the next news story about some freak clown who can't keep it in his pants blah blah blah. Iraq. Foreclosures, bankruptcies, I go nuts watching the working stiff get f*cked over, and our economy resembles a sick Ponzi scheme, a house of cards. I can barely watch the news without crying. I'd like to punch something. I drink because I care.

I wish that the people I met and talked with every day were more like the people whose words I read in blogs every day. I wish the whole world were more like my family. I wish the whole world were more like my dogs.

I can't believe it's Monday already. Good lord.

20 comments:

jin said...

I feel like that way too often.

I try not to blog then because it'd be awfully depressing. Then again, sometimes it feels good to just let off the steam. I've been fighting the urge to "angry blog" (kinda like drunk dialing??? lol) the last few days, so maybe it's something to do with the weather change.

Hang in there and remember:
When jinny wins the lotto I'm a gonna travel all over the US with my bean & my brit bringing care packages to all my fave bloggers!
Until then, go have a cocktail.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

That was possibly the nicest rant I have ever read.

anandamide said...

As far as the people you meet and talk to: try imagining that they all secretly write fascinating blogs and try to guess what they might blog about....

Failing that, pretend they're secretly dogs and mentally give them a scooby snack.

kirby said...

I hear you.

Splotchy said...

I feel your anger and frustration.

In times like these, perhaps you should ask yourself, WWAD (What Would Antonia Do?). Then, you probably shouldn't do it, whatever "it" is.

For selfish reasons, I hope you work past your anger and end up posting about Katrina.

Mob said...

Wow, August seems to be kicking everybody in the ass, I'm somewhat relieved to know that it's not just me.

Try more venting, it usually helps me a little.

Dino aka Katy said...

i have to agree on all accounts. Accept for me school is almost done and I am dreading havening to start paying my student loans - hey did they bring in the american news what soccer star Maradona said about Busch? its all over the German news and lets just say he wasn't very positive in his comments.

jewgirl said...

Good rant! Feel better? It helps spewing your guts, doesn't it? Not letting it fester and brew.

I feel your angst, toots. Keep venting and ranting.

Mazel Tov on going back to college.

Grant Miller said...

After this week, school routine sets in and you're set. For a bit.

Tenacious S said...

Panic disorder is only one reason why I medicate. I think it might be Tiki time!

Dale said...

I wish I had problems. They sound interesting!

Dale said...

Oh and Jin? If they won't let you across the border with your winnings, you can just send me a cheque.

Bubs said...

Ten, it's BEEN tiki time for weeks now, but it's been impossible to set time aside. We must renew our efforts, yes?

G.M., yeah, I think that will set some routines that will be welcome. I hope. What's freaking me out the most is my own schedule and the realization that I'm not going to be seeing much of my family when I'm working nights now once school starts. They'll all be gone or leaving when I wake up in the morning, and asleep when I get home.

J.G. and Mob: I'm usually reluctant to vent at all, because I've found it can actually make me feel worse. I end up feeling like a whiner. It's usually better to just suck it up and grind all that fear, anger and anxiety into a dense, dark little ball deeeeep inside. Much healthier. J.G, thanks for the good wishes on the return to school. I want an MBA because I'm tired of being a thug representing the armed might of the state. Now I want to be a jargon-spouting corporate whore.

Katy, ah, student loans. I'm getting reimbursed for my tuition (which is why I'm going to a state university, the reimbursement will actually cover it) but I'm going to have to start with the loans next year when my eldest transfers to Columbia College. I feel your pain. Or I'm about to.

Splotchy, what did you do again with all your pictures from St Bernard Parish? I think we should do some photo-blogging when the anniversary hits.

Kirby, thank you.

Anandamide, thank you for some excellent coping strategies! I didn't even have to get on the couch or show you an insurance card for that, thanks!

MVM, I'm good at the rant. I try and refrain usually.

Jin, I know what you mean about fighting the urge. I had a wicked allergy attack last night and popped a couple of OTC allergy pills, which combined with my bourbon, put me in a cloudy funk. Good luck--I'm looking forward to one a them care packages.

Doc said...

Bubs- I read this article ealier and I couldn't bring myself to comment. I have been going through the self same funk. Blame it on the weather, the present administration, or a poor alignment of the stars, or what have you. Most all of us in blogdom seem to be in a "transitional phase". I have been off my game for two weeks now. I, like you, try and leave this kind of stuff out of my writing but sometimes it is just too overpowering. It gladdens my heart to know I'm not alone. I broke down and wrote a post complaining about how I was in a foul mood and I met a new blogger friend for my trouble.

As an exercise, I wrote a post about how I was going to become an *sshole. It was very liberating, but at the end I said I wasn't going to become one of the people I hate. I'd like to think that it was a little funny.

As far as work goes, you have the very toughest job I can think of. You roll out of bed to go meet people on the worst day of their lives and try to help them, as well as file all the paperwork afterwords. You are pushing yourself for a marathon or two, as well as trying to keep up with your lovely bride Mizbubs and two mostly grown kids, as well as changing from day to night. It is no wonder you feel a little bent out of shape.

Try this: write a post where you picture yourself as the worst human being possible. Make Hitler look like a sunday school teacher.

If this doesn't help, try more PBR and an early bedtime.

Take care,
Doc

pezda said...

I try not to have bad days, they're no fun. When I'm too overwhelmed by the world I try to sit down and blog it out, but there's usually too much kicking and screaming going on in my head. The end result is usually some inane or silly post that I toss off. If you check, all of my posts are inane or silly.

Splotchy said...

I just have the pictures on the TeamBlack14 Photobucket account.

I still have the ID and password if you want 'em.

Bubs said...

Splotchy, I've got that as well. Thanks!

Pezda, thanks for visiting! I'll have to check out your blog and determine if you are, in fact, as inane or silly as you claim.

kim said...

Bubsy,

I understand where you are at....just remember, tomorrow is Tuesday. Tuesday is always better than Monday.

Bubs said...

Kim, Doc, thanks.

Coaster Punchman said...

Hi Bubs, the good thing about these funks is that they do pass. One time when I was in a similar funk Mindy told me I should be reading The Superficial every day. It may help.