Monday, October 22, 2007

Just how angry IS that leopard?

Lately I've been getting hits from all over the world from people looking for pictures of an angry leopard attacking a man in India. Back in January I posted a link to a story about a leopard that attacked a man in a housing complex in India, and was subsequently beaten to death by a stick-wielding mob. No one paid much attention at the time. But now? The attention whore in me is doing a drunken jig from all the extra visits.

Now I know how Anandamide felt when he received the random attentions of thousands of ZZ Top fans. And this got me thinking again--how do people find this little spot on the interwebs? And how do I keep up the wonderfully ego-stroking 100 + hits per day?

Someone in Janesville, Wisconsin wanted to compare/contrast Eve White Eve Black 3 faces of Eve.

Naughty Googlers in Hertford, UK, and in Lithuania, wanted naked Bubs.

A Chippewa Falls cheesehead wonders what life in other mid-sized Wisconsin towns is like, and is looking for Eau Claire nude.

Another naughty Googler, this time a cheesehead from Marion, Wisconsin, wanted to find some Wisconsin porn. (Does Wisconsin porn involve more cheese curds and brandy than mainstream porn?)

Testicles. Penis. Stripper
. That's what some freak in Bothell, Washington wants.

A thrifty Chicagoan wanted to find LaSalle Bank incentives.

A narcozoology buff in San Antonio, Texas wanted to learn more about bad cop and alligator freak Warren Nyerges.

Some Yankee up in Portland Maine inquired about Lettuce Dogs.

Tina Louise Iggy Pop--evidently someone in Oak Park, Illinois wanted to see both of them together. I can only imagine.

A marathon buff in Toronto wanted to read about the Chicago Marathon aftermath.

Aftermath? Let's try Chicago Marathon Embarrassment instead.

I think I'll ask Grant Miller for pointers on how to jazz up my blog to attract more interesting search hits.


Splotchy said...

Testicles. Penis. Stripper.

For some reason, I had the sound of the Comic Book Guy in the Simpsons saying this (similar to "worst... episode... ever....")

And stop muscling in on Anandamide's ZZ Top hits! We must all make a solemn pact to not mention the Bearded Ones With A Drummer.

GETkristiLOVE said...

You don't have to stoop so low as to take advice from that Grant Miller guy.

Dale said...

I love the way people end up on various sites, all hail the mighty site meter!

Danny Tagalog said...

Hertfordshire is full of perverts. Don't go there!

Dino aka Katy said...

wow over 100 hits a day - thats cool well depending on what they look at you for

Grant Miller said...

I get a number of people looking "bubs." Unfortunately, I don't think they're looking for you. I think they're just bad spellers looking for something else.

Johnny Yen said...

My guess is that the Iggy Pop Tina Louise searcher was looking for a story I'd read, I think in Spin magazine some years ago. Apparently, Iggy was with some friends in a bar and getting very drunk. He was cut off, and at some point realized that Tina Louise (Ginger, from Gilligan's Island as I'm certain you know). From what I remember, he first asked her to buy him a drink, and when she refused, asked if she wanted to see his cock ring. Before she could refuse that too, he whipped out his johnson and laid it on the bar. He was thrown out. Truth, as always, is stranger than fiction.

I worked with a woman who was a groupie and had dated Iggy, and told me he was quite, um, endowed.

Bubs said...

Johnny, excellent story. I've heard that too, but I think people might be less impressed with Iggy's endowment if they'd read any of the accounts in "Please Kill Me" about Iggy whipping it out in an attempt to check the color of whatever STD discharge he was suffering at the time.

Grant Miller, I think that "bubs" is slang for a baby in some places. And it's also, apparently, a common way for non-English speakers to misspell boobs.

Katy, right now they all seem to want something naked, and something with an angry leopard.

Danny, thanks for the warning!

Dale, right? The Site Meter is creepy, intrusive and awesome all at once!

Kristi, I had a beer once with someone who claimed to be "Grant Miller" and he seemed nice enough. You're saying I was duped?

Splotchy, hahahahaha...I wasn't thinking that when I wrote it, but that's what I'm hearing now when I read it. Thanks!

Writeprocrastinator said...

"Does Wisconsin porn involve more cheese curds and brandy than mainstream porn?)"

Snow. Lots and lots of snow.

Also lines like "I have the brat, if you have the cheddar" and "let's churn some butter."

Splotchy said...

bubs, you left out the best part of the Iggy Pop STD story. It was given to him by Nico. Such a Femme Fatale!

Bubs said...

Splotchy, I forgot about that! Yow. And she looked like such a nice girl.

WP, are you working for the Wisconsin Tourism Board or what?

Johnny Yen said...

My guess is that it was either Jim Morrison or Lou Reed who gave it to Nico. My what a small incestuous world rock and roll was.

jewgirl said...

what the hell is a lettuce dog? wisconsin porn is really quite perfect, bubbsie. doesn't it just feel super laden in fondue?