Thursday, November 29, 2007

Plushie freak of the week

Southside bureau chief Dena stepped up again with this one, feeding me material while I was otherwise occupied:


Winnipeg police were called shortly before 6 p.m. on March 26 after a Chelsea Avenue resident spotted the man breaking into her garage. The man exited the garage a short time later and moved on to a neighbour's garage, where he stole a lawn mower, a mountain bike, a blanket and a stuffed toy dog.

The man eventually returned to the first garage, where police found him nearly two hours later passed out inside a boat.

"He was lying there with his genitalia exposed next to the stuffed dog," said Crown attorney John Peden. "While the police report doesn't describe it this way, the dog might be appropriately characterized as now being anatomically correct, as opposed to its condition before he removed it."


Oh, one more thing. Alcohol was involved.

10 comments:

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I may have grown up in Winnipeg, but I did not have sex with that man. Honest.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I suppose it's better he had it with a plush animal instead of a live poodle.

Joe said...

Dr MVM, thanks for putting it in perspective for me. Ouch.

Barbara, I'm sure you would've remembered it if you had.

Tenacious S said...

Hmmm, alcohol is never involved but our cat likes to make sweet love to Bink's big stuffed rabbit. I can't decide if it is disturbing or funny. Detail-He takes the bunny's ear in his teeth while he does this.

Anonymous said...

I don't know why, but the part about the guy being found passed out in a boat just makes that story even funnier.

Dale said...

I'm glad Winnipeg is fairly far from Toronto. No freaks here, no sir.

Joe said...

Dale, I'm relieved to hear that.

Kirby, you are absolutely correct! I just went and re-read that article, and the boat really makes the story.

TenS, do you remember Anna Nicole's dog Sugar Pie? On that reality show her dog was always humping a stuffed animal, creating much pill-induced hilarity for Anna.

Doc said...

Oh Sure. Blame the alcohol! I'm willing to bet this guy was "tetched" in the head before the first drink.

Doc

Dino said...

mhh I agree with Doc alcohol is getting a pretty bad rep ...

The Idea Of Progress said...

Were they out of apple pie?