Plushie freak of the week

Southside bureau chief Dena stepped up again with this one, feeding me material while I was otherwise occupied:

Accused thief found with stuffed dog used for sex

Winnipeg police were called shortly before 6 p.m. on March 26 after a Chelsea Avenue resident spotted the man breaking into her garage. The man exited the garage a short time later and moved on to a neighbour's garage, where he stole a lawn mower, a mountain bike, a blanket and a stuffed toy dog.

The man eventually returned to the first garage, where police found him nearly two hours later passed out inside a boat.

"He was lying there with his genitalia exposed next to the stuffed dog," said Crown attorney John Peden. "While the police report doesn't describe it this way, the dog might be appropriately characterized as now being anatomically correct, as opposed to its condition before he removed it."

Oh, one more thing. Alcohol was involved.

Midweek Freak of the Week: first freak of the summer!

There are three freaks this week. Let's have a little contest, shall we?

Contestant number one hails from the Badger State. For some reason, not a single article I found mentioned this freak by name. But here's the story: a 27 year old man was arrested and found to be in possession of 1,500 pairs of girl's shoes. He stole the shoes from area schools because, as a police spokesman said, "he liked to smell them."

Contestant number two was very definitely identified after he got caught jerking off in a women's bathroom at the University of Arizona. And, uh, oh yeah--he turned out to be an FBI agent:

Ryan Seese, 33, was cited on suspicion of public sexual indecency, criminal trespassing and indecent exposure, said Sgt. Eugene Mejia, a University of Arizona Police Department spokesman.

Contestant number three is another unknown freak, and a Canadian! Perhaps our favorite Canadians Dale or Barbara might have some insight into this behavior; then again, it might be really scary if they do.

Police in Guelph, Ontario, are looking for a man who is approaching women and asking them to kick him in the groin. Two of the women reported that the man was riding a bicycle at the time, so maybe he wasn't really committed to getting kicked in the balls. Here's what caught my attention:

According to a police spokesperson, they want to find this freak not because he's actually committed a crime, but because "That kind of behavior tends to be a precursor to sexual assault." In my 19 years of police work, I've never seen nor heard of a sexual assault that starts off with the offender asking the victim to kick him in the balls, but then again, I've never worked sex crimes in Canada. Is it different up there?