Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Freak of the week, and the return of weenie-waver Wednesday

It's a new year, and here we are with the prospect of 355 more days of perversion and freakery ahead of us. So let's get started, shall we? We'll even have a little contest.

Certain types of public exposure just aren't fit to appear in this blog's Freak of the Week feature. Girls Gone Wild-type displays by coeds, for instance. While entertaining in a sad yet arousing way, they don't represent the type of creepy, compulsive behavior that I like to spotlight. Likewise, routine stories about streaking, mooning and the like--they just don't have what it takes.

Women are seriously underrepresented in the freak of the week. Matter of fact, I think only two women have ever been featured. So, I was pleased to find a worthy female candidate this week.

Meet Marissa Rodriguez.

Ms. Rodriguez, a temp worker at a mental health facility for juveniles, was charged with two counts of Lewd and Lascivious Exhibition after she showed her nipple piercings to one of the girls at the facility. When confronted about the charge, she showed off the nipple piercings again. Flaunt it baby, flaunt it!

And man, check out that sultry gaze.

Moving right along...

Senator Larry Craig is back in the news as his attorneys appeal his conviction to the Minnesota Court of Appeals. On what grounds, you ask?

"...Larry Craig's attorneys are arguing the alleged hand swiping in a Minneapolis bathroom stall is constitutionally protected speech. Lawyers for the Idaho Republican also argue the bathroom encounter isn't criminal because it didn't involve multiple victims."

C-list reality show celebrities are always a welcome addition to any lineup of freaks and sex fiends.

Dog the Bounty Hunter sidekick Tim Chapman got caught in his truck in a shopping center parking lot, naked, choking his chicken.

When security guards approached he hopped into the front seat and drove off over the sidewalk, nearly striking the guard. Here's a splendid illustration of why people love defense attorneys:
Brook Hart, Chapman's lawyer, described the incident to the Star Bulletin as a "massive misunderstanding," claiming his client spilled juice on his pants and retreated to the backseat of his truck to change. When security guards approached the truck, which has tinted windows, and started yelling, Hart told the Star Bulletin that Chapman attempted to get away to avoid negative publicity.

"It was simply a man who wet his pants with orange juice inadvertently and was changing them, doing nothing wrong at all and believing he had sufficient privacy to do it," Hart told the
Star Bulletin.
Finally, nothing rounds out a good collection of freaks like a member of the clergy.

Rev. Robert Whipkey, a Catholic priest, recently pleaded not guilty to indecent exposure charges.

Rev. Whipkey was arrested back in June for walking down a street in Greeley, Colorado. Naked. At 4:30 am. What did the good Rev. Whipkey have to say for himself?

"I'm a heavy man and wearing clothing while running makes me sweat profusely..."

Rev. Whipkey was investigated 8 years ago for "inappropriate personal behavior" according to the archdiocese, but that incident did not involve "physical or sexual contact with another individual".

Well. That's a relief.


GETkristiLOVE said...

What's even more disturbing is that someone admits to even being in Greeley, Colorado.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I guess it'll be quite sometime before "Dog The Bounty Hunter" comes back to A&E.

Dino aka Katy said...

loving the poll thats fun as for the freaks oh well they are at least entertaining to us readers

Hot Lemon said...

you need to redo the pix-- which are broke links-- for ME to vote... I need visuals.

Erik Donald France said...

Marissa Rodriguez gets a pass, depending on how old the "patient" was, I guess.

The men seem more like common weirdos and pervs.

Coaster Punchman said...

Thank God you're back with this series. The Internets were not as safe as they are without it. That being said, I agree that Ms. Rodriguez gets a pass. While my Gentle Readers know my feelings on nipples, it is still unfair that she can't show hers while a man can show his.

I have to go now. I have cold chill heebies from thinking about that body part.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

"spilled juice on his pants" - is that what they call it now?

SkylersDad said...

Spilling juice on your pants is the new term for "money shot".

Bubs said...

skylersdad, that's sad. I prefer the more charming "pearl necklace"

Barbara, see skylersdad's response.

CP, sorry I forgot about the nipples thing...


Erik, I think the Reverend is pretty unique, but I really think Ms. Rodriguez has a compelling look about her.

HL, sorry about that. I fixed it.

Dino, then you'll be glad to learn that there's another Germany or Florida on the horizon, too.

Dr MVM, no kidding. That whole show is imploding in a cloud of racism and perversion.

GKL, tell me about Greeley.

justacoolcat said...

I had to vote for Marissa. Winning this contest is exactly the type of validation she is seeking.

Johnny Yen said...

I was tempted to vote for Marissa-- it's heartening, somehow, to know that women can be perverts too. But I had to go with Larry Craig. You've gotta love a guy who invokes the Consitution to justify being a washroom pervert.

Beth said...

I need a shower after enjoying all that filth.

I voted for Craig, too. Just because.

kirby said...

Larry Craig just doesn't know when to quit, does he?

Writeprocrastinator said...

"Larry Craig's attorneys are arguing the alleged hand swiping in a Minneapolis bathroom stall is constitutionally protected speech."

Yeah, Larry, right. You signed away our constitutional rights and now you want to hide behind the Constitution?