"If you're not busy, stop by and ring in the New Year with us. We have a new fondue recipe, and we plan on toasting the New Year with Sahara Highballs and Andre Cold Duck. We'd love it if you could join us.And there they were. More Polaroids:
It's been a non-stop party over here since Christmas. We put a couple more Polaroids in the envelope so you could see what you've been missing."
We kept the blinds down and the lights off on the side of the house facing the neighbors that night. I nursed my nagging cold with champagne and stuffed mushrooms that my bride thoughtfully prepared for me. We huddled together and watched Death Race, Blades of Glory and What Happens In Vegas, all the while nervous that the neighbors might knock on the door looking for us if they saw the flickering blue light of the TV set through the blinds. Fortunately, we were left alone and greeted the new year in a subdued but comfortable fashion.
We saw no sign of them on New Year's Day.
This morning my bride returned to work, and I took the girls for chicken and waffles at Kitsch'n after I got a haircut. When we got home a realtor was hammering a "for sale" sign into the neighbor's front yard. The house was obviously and suddenly vacant. There were a few black plastic trash bags by the back porch, waiting to be carried out to the curb. I noticed a couple pieces of paper blowing across my driveway; on closer examination they were nothing but unused Polaroid backing papers.
Our long holiday season nightmare was over.