A few notes before we announce the winner. Germany or Florida is a difficult game, and guessing the correct answer is more of an art than a science. At the height of its popularity on the show Loveline, Dr. Drew got approximately 40% correct, and Adam Corolla 55%. In other words, you're doing really well if you approach anything over 50% accuracy.
As I have stated before, there are a number of subtle cultural clues that can help:
Fetish or weird sex=Germany
Inept criminals with poorly thought out plans=Florida
Cannibalism and/or body parts=Germany (Is this where Wisconsin gets it?)
Pitbulls and/or gunplay=Florida
Incest and morbid obesity can go either way. It bears repeating, though, that none of these single clues are 100% accurate. Now, on to the winners of
Third place was an impressive four-way tie among Skylersdad, Dale, Freida and Spartacus, with 8 correct answers. Well done, folks!
Second place was a tie between Bill T. and Bad Tempered Zombie, with 10 correct answers.
And the winner is...Eebie, with 11 correct answers! Eebie will be receiving a copy of Peeping Tom by Jack Woodford, published in 1948 by the Diversey Publishing Corporation of Chicago:
According to the back cover, this book is "uninhibited and racy." It must be, because an earlier owner underlined those very words:
I've printed the questions below, with the origin of each story highlighted at the end. My comments are in red. I liked the problem-solving strategies that a lot of readers used in the comments, too.
1) A man and woman got in an argument over her misplaced false teeth. The man gave her what she called “flying lessons”, throwing her up into the air and onto the kitchen floor. She grabbed a knife and threatened to kill him. FLORIDA
Classic domestic violence=Florida.
2) A pregnant woman wearing a cap, sunglasses and rubber gloves attempted to rob a bank. She also brought her toddler along. FLORIDA
The rubber gloves might have suggested a fetish angle (Germany) but the correct call was made by Bill T and Cormac Brown: the toddler. Cormac suggested, rightly, that daycare would have been available in Germany, and Bill seemed to grab the overall white-trashitude of bringing your kid along on a badly thought-out score.
3) Police officers sent to investigate a loud party were mistaken for strippers by the raucous female partygoers. GERMANY
4) A man was arrested after offering to pay for his takeout order with marijuana. FLORIDA FLORIDA FLORIDA
5) Parents want a teacher fired after she performed a striptease for her teenaged students. GERMANY
This was, perhaps, the toughest question. Hot teacher said Florida, but nudity says Germany. Her dance was captured on video:
6) A boy was blasted through the window of a bathroom after making a stinky poo, spraying air freshener to cover the smell, and playing with a lighter. GERMANY
7) A woman dropped by a man’s apartment to smoke some crack. While waiting, she opened some canned sardines and some sausages, enraging him. He beat her and got arrested. FLORIDA
Crack cocaine and interpersonal violence trump sardines and sausage, making Florida the correct call.
8) An unknown amputee, missing both arms, managed to steal a 24” television set. He got two people to assist in somehow clamping the television to his chest before walking out. He was not caught; the theft was discovered later after when the security video was reviewed. GERMANY
What I didn't make clear was that the two people who helped the offender were strangers to him. That made it a clear Germany story--a criminal in Florida who planned on the kindness of strangers would have been victimized himself.
9) A man in a wheelchair robbed a bank. He was captured minutes later, a block away from the bank. He initially told cops he was forced to do it by two armed men who took the money from him. The cash was found in his prosthetic leg. FLORIDA
Classic poorly thought out Florida crime. In this case, alcohol was involved:
10) A man turned on the gas in his apartment to kill himself after his girlfriend dumped him. When the girlfriend stopped by later to pick up her things, she lit a cigarette and caused an explosion. The man was charged with murder after his neighbor died in the explosion. GERMANY
11) This area is experiencing a critical shortage of shopping center Santas. Successful candidates need a “clean police record.” GERMANY
Another really tough choice.
12) A 37 year old man living with his parents was arrested for attempting to attack his father with the family Christmas tree. FLORIDA
Once again, domestic violence=Florida.
13) A 56 year old man was stripped of his gun license after a home inspection revealed the gun was hidden under a pillow in his bed. The man’s home was being checked because he had threatened to “throw a hand grenade” if the city council approved plans for a high voltage power line near his house. GERMANY
The most popular places to keep guns in Florida are where they are easily accessible. Places like under a pillow, or in a glove box of an unlocked car. While the crank threat against public officials sounds American, I can't imagine police in Florida inspecting a home for guns. They don't have enough cops or a big enough overtime budget for that.
14) A drug dealer escaped from prison by concealing himself in a large cardboard box, which was then carried out of the facility by a courier service along with other packages. GERMANY
15) A 28 year old woman was arrested after a man came home to find the drunk woman on his roof, drinking beer, and refusing to come down unless he gave her more beer. FLORIDA
16) After drinking with a friend, a man burglarized a preschool to steal toys as holiday gifts for his children. Police found a stolen see-saw, a desk easel and some Frisbees in the man’s yard. FLORIDA
17) A woman suspected that her husband was cheating on her. She demanded that he allow her to smell his penis to determine if her fears were true. When she went to sniff, he punched her in the head, kicked her when she was on the floor, and left before the cops arrived. FLORIDA
While there might have been a fetish aspect to the penis-sniffing, this is really straight up Florida trash. Bacon Lady nailed this one, and pointed out that there is a popular rap song titled, appropriately enough, "Smell Yo Dick". The artist, Riskay-The Drama Queen, hails from Bartow in central Florida.