Sunday, March 08, 2009

T'Aint for Splotchy

I got something for Splotchy.

No, it's not the Green Monkey Music Project mix I've been promising him for the past two weeks.

It's some taint.

For whatever reason, Splotchy loves him some taint.

This has resulted in taint wars with fellow bloggers and inappropriate suggestions for drink names (the "Sweaty Taint").

We were taking a break inside a new favorite dive bar, Aunt Tiki's on Decatur Street. It's a friendly place full of friendly people, and appropriately enough Splotchy has actually been there before--we stopped in there when we were working in St. Bernard Parish back in 2006. Cool jukebox. Good people.

So, MizBubs and I were sitting there enjoying a cold, refreshing Abita beer and taking in the flotsam behind the bar:

Off in the corner I noticed a small dry erase board covered in writing. I had discovered Aunt Tiki's "T'Aint Board", a handy guide to saying "taint" in a variety of foreign languages. The bartender helpfully brought it over to MizBubs so I could get a better picture of it:

I hope Splotchy (and Jess Wundrun) swear to only use this information for good.

The foreign language taint translations described herein are provided on an “as is” basis, without warranty of any kind, to the fullest extent permitted by law. Sprawling Ramshackle Compound does not warrant or guarantee the individual success speakers or writers may have in implementing the translations in conversations private or public, or in their own blogs, websites, or social networking applications including, but not limited to, Facebook, MySpace, Twitter or Ning.

Sprawling Ramshackle Compound does not warrant, guarantee or make any representations regarding the use, results of use, accuracy, timeliness or completeness of any data or information relating to the translations pictured above. Sprawling Ramshackle Compound disclaims all warranties, express or implied, and in particular, disclaims all warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose, and warranties related to the foreign language translations of "taint", or any service or use related thereto.

Sprawling Ramshackle Compound shall not be liable for any direct, indirect or consequential damages or costs of any type arising out of any action taken by you or others related to the foreign language translations of "taint".


Anonymous said...

Keith Olberman said the word taint one night, and of course I laughed like a maniac. My husband asked me what it meant and why I was laughing, but when I tried to explain he got pissy because I was talking over Olberman. I never did tell him, and it serves him right for getting pissy.

Erik Donald France said...

Ain't no haint gonna run me off; chasing down a hoodoo thea'

Coaster Punchman said...

I'm just not sure what to say here.

Coaster Punchman said...

ps: how do you do that one thing where your blogroll orders them by published date? I think that might help me keep up with my Gentle Readers better.

Bubs said...

CP, check your email.

Erik, heh. Were they saying "haint" when they really meant "taint"?

Kirby, hahahaha...oh well. Maybe someday you'll clue him in?

Splotchy said...

Bubs, you are good people. Thank you for this.