Tuesday, June 19, 2007

The struggle continues


I hate to be the bearer of bad news, the proverbial turd in a punchbowl, but heck. It's what I do.

In spite of recent victories in New York, Kansas, Florida and California, the alligator has once again proven to be a wily and resilient adversary.

A young gator was captured in northern California, showing the gator's unyielding efforts to scout new territory.

What is it with New Yorkers and their insatiable desire to keep alligators as pets?

Alligators have apparently chosen to open a new front in the rust belt. A young scout gator was captured in a garage near Toledo, Ohio.

In a disturbing development, I've recently learned of another example of a bad cop being compromised by alligators.

Sgt. Warren Nyerges of the Bay Village PD, was placed on administrative leave after being charged with domestic violence and having a prohibited animal--an alligator. The stress and paranoia that results from being a reptile Quisling must have weighed heavily on Sgt. Nyerges. Police confiscated more than 40 firearms from his house.

Oh, yeah, one more thing--drugs were involved. Not the usual cocaine, or weed, or methamphetamine. Steroids. I don't have enough data to determine if Sgt. Nyerges' steroid use impaired his judgment, or if the stress of collaborating with the reptile enemy, and the constant fear of alligator attack, drove him to start hitting himself in the ass with D-bol. But I aim to find out.

For now the watchword remains, as always: CONSTANT VIGILANCE!

14 comments:

Splotchy said...

Woo woo, that guy has bedroom eyes.

Incredibly scary, spooky bedroom eyes.

Dino aka Katy said...

those little gators are just on a field trip learning about America. As for cops of well we had two just getting arrested for driving through the cheaspeake bay tunnel toll without paying at 50miles an hour and guess what ....... yes alcohol was involved (not sure about drugs and gators but I'll keep my ears open)

Mob said...

Ohio?

Yeesh, they really get around.

Nice use of the Quisling, by the way, you don't see that very much in the average blog.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I don't know the proverb about the turd in the punchbowl. You should tell us that one sometime.

GETkristiLOVE said...

Let's hope the turd is really a Baby Ruth bar.

Bubs said...

Kristi, yes, it's a Baby Ruth bar of alligator awareness.

Barbara, you've never heard that expression "about as popular as a turd in a punchbowl?"

Mob, it's frightening isn't it. Suddenly there are TWO gator reports from Ohio. The mind reels. And thanks for the compliment!

Katy, that's an awfully kind way of describing the alligator antics: "a field trip learning about America" You haven't gotten any payments from the alligator lobby have you?

I'll have to look up the cops/tunnel/booze story. I could fill pages with cops+booze=trouble stories.

Splotchy, can you say "roid rage aftermath"? Those are some creepy eyes.

justacoolcat said...

That cops looks just like the cops that go to my gym.

I'd say they were on steroids, but being beaten to death isn't on my list of things to do.

Maybe I'll just ask them how they feel about alligators.

Dino aka Katy said...

nope no aligator lobby payments received maybe i need to look into that, my mom just complained a 6ft gator was snacking on a screen door near her in florida

Bubs said...

katy, let me know!

Coolcat, he looks like a meathead doesn't he? The combination of cop+steroids is maybe even scarier than cop+booze. Nothing like a monster-sized guy with a gun, the authority to use force, and a hair-trigger roid-induced temper.

justacoolcat said...

Don't forget the trusty side kick alligator.

This is starting to sound like a movie script.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Nope, haven't heard that one, Bubs. Is it from the bible?

Erik Donald France said...

I once taught a son of a mobster (alleged by said son) who claimed to have pet alligators, pet sharks, and other exotic creatures -- outside of Philly. He wondered if I wanted to come out to the family compound and tutor him? I respectfully declined, citing other responsbilities.

Johnny Yen said...

I'm just curious-- you've certainly been present at the takings of mugshots-- do they tell them "Now look really guilty." Because they always do.

Bubs said...

Johnny, it's the whole dynamic of the mugshot experience--direct, harsh lighting, awful cinderblock background, the people being photographed are usually intoxicated, recovering from being intoxicated, or exhausted, and most of all they're usually just guilty as sin.

Erik, that would've been a fascinating experience. In a way. I bet you're glad you passed on it.

Barbara, yes it is. Here's the original quote:

And that prophet, or that dreamer of dreams, shall be put to death; because he hath spoken to turn you away from the LORD your God, which brought you out of the land of Egypt, and redeemed you out of the house of bondage, to thrust thee out of the way which the LORD thy God commanded thee to walk in. So shalt thou put the evil away from the midst of thee. And he shall be as the turd in the punchbowl, reviled and exiled.
--Deuteronomy 13:5 (New Revised Compound Version)