Saturday, October 20, 2007

There Simply Aren't 7 Things About Me

Not seven interesting things, anyway. But, goode husband Bubs has commanded, and I must obey. Sickening, isn't it?

1. I don't like talking on the telephone. This is ironic, since answering the phone is a big part of my job, and I'm very good at it. I think My ambivalence to telephones comes from not being raised with one. We had our telephone removed when I was 5 or 6 years old because my Mother had a self-control issue, aggravated by being an extreme alcoholic. The final straw was when she called a merchant marine ex-husband shore-to-ship in the Suez Canal. Not cheap in 1969!

2. I'm a tough guy. That's code for really stupid. Several years ago I was drilling a hole in the end of a branch to make a bird perch. While overly cautious people might use a vise to hold the branch, I held it in my hand. When the drill inevitably kicked and tore up the edge of my hand, I didn't panic. I had one of the girls help me rinse off the sawdust, wrap some paper towels around it, and fasten it with strapping tape. When Bubs got home a little while later, I really didn't think I needed to go to the emergency room. The doctor thought I needed five stitches.

3. I am good at sh*ting in the woods.

4. When we left the National Guard, I outranked Bubs.

5. I secretly like old fashioned florals, lace, fancy china, and all that girl stuff. I couldn't live with it all the time, but I wish I had a girlie sun room to have tea in sometimes.

6. I still like early Wings. There, I said it.

7. This was not as bad as I thought it'd be, but you owe me big, Bubs!


Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Early Wings rocked. Band on the Run is a classic!

jin said...

I was going to ask, if we don't really *know* you, how do we know these are all true?

But then I had this terrible vision of you trying to prove them to us (#3 especially) and I've decided that your word is good enough for me!!!

Writeprocrastinator said...

"When we left the National Guard, I outranked Bubs."

The Missus says that all wives outrank their husbands, whether they know it or not. Seriously, you two met in the Guard?

Bubs said...

WP, we joined on the buddy system, we knew each other a few years before that.

And that incident with the drill? I got home nearly an hour later, and she still didn't want to go to the hospital. Even after her (admittedly well-crafted) improvised hillbilly field dressing was soaked through with her precious blood, she didn't want to go. I'll tell you, nothing makes your kids respect you like having them watch you dress your own wounds and refuse professional medical care.

Anonymous said...

I think I have a girl-crush on Miz Bubs. Do you still have to salute her, on account of her out-ranking you?

Melinda June said...

You are very, very impressive, MizBubs. And thank god you included a link to that Wings reference. For a moment I feared you were talking about that stupid NBC sitcom.

Mizbubs said...

Dr. Monkey (if I may be so familiar), you are a gentleman and a scholar!

Jin, you are confusing me with Bubs. If anything, I am pathologically honest, although occasionally biased.

WP, I see Bubs answered your query. He and I really did meet at a parish carnival in high school.
We've always felt that set the tone for our relationship!

Kirby, Aw, shucks! (blushing) Bubs doesn't salute me, but he shows his respect in other ways...

MJ, maybe I should have been clearer about the reference. I definitely did NOT watch that show!

Tenacious S said...

Parish carnival, huh? Were there clowns perhaps? I have a girlie tea set. Come over sometime. We can make scones and drink tea.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Miz Bubsyou can be familiar with me anytime you like.

Johnny Yen said...

I will cop to owning "Wings Over America." And I will unapologetically say that "Band On the Run" is a f*cking great album.

Dino aka Katy said...

wow coast guard, self inflicted injuries you refuse to see a doctor for now wonder Bubs is head of heel for you ;)

kim said...

You outranked Bubs then, and still do!

I understand about talking on the phone. I avoid a lot of phone calls, yours excluded of course.

Wings rocks, babe.

When are me going out?

Grant Miller said...

I kind of like early wings, though I don't own any.

Beth said...

Mizbubs, I'm so with you on the phone thing! People at work have finally learned not to call, but e-mail me.