Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Freak of the Week: Yuletide edition


It's time for a new freak of the week, and Australia has obligingly provided an excellent yule season candidate.

"It is believed the man was harassing neighbours and passers-by while parading around in female underwear and a Santa hat," Victoria Police spokeswoman Senior Constable Cassy Stone said.

It did not end well for the unnamed cross-dressing Santa. He was pepper-sprayed by the police and then jumped to his death from a 14th floor balcony.

Runners-up:

21 year old Tan Wen Zhong of Singapore gets points for wearing a pink bikini and for having a collection of 46 pairs of women's underwear, discovered when police searched his residence. Mr. Zhong pled guilty to "outraging the modesty" of the woman who shared the lift with him and "fraudulent possession of women's underwear".

He fell short, however, having not worn any festive Christmas-related headgear during his offenses.

33 year old Sandrama Lamy of Danbury, Connecticut was apparently trying to work out some daddy issues when she groped a 65 year old Santa at her local shopping mall. The initial report to mall security was that the mall Santa "had been sexually assaulted." Police located and identified Ms. Lamy quickly, as she was on crutches. She gets points for being a woman (women are notoriously under-represented in freak of the week) but loses points for not making any wacky statements to the media.

_____________________

There's a difference between being a freak, and just being an asshole. Mr. Clint Westwood, a 22 year old drama student at University of Montana, was arrested for throwing a pie in Santa's face as a girl sat in Santa's lap. Westwood was filming the prank for a documentary film he's making titled "My Crazy Life", and also planned to include footage of himself urinating while seated on Santa's lap. Westwood says he took up acting because his name is so similar to Clint Eastwood's.

7 comments:

Barbara Bruederlin said...

One suspects that Jackass is Mr Westwood's favourite film.

Erik Donald France said...

"There's a difference between being a freak, and just being an asshole." The eleventh commandment? Thou shalt discern the difference between . . .

Grant Miller said...

Are you sure that was Mrs. Claus in Connecticut?

Hot Lemon said...

blinder. when anyone tells me I'm weird, I'm going to give 'em the URL of this blogcake.

Writeprocrastinator said...

Uh, she groped Santa while on crutches?

anandamide said...

I know this makes me "insensitive to sexual assault issues" but I can't help but feeling that after a week or two of rotten kids sitting on your lap asking for dumb shit, getting groped by a 33 year old female would be a welcome relief for Santa.

SkylersDad said...

"Drama student from U of Montana"???

Cause everybody knows that Montana is the hotbed of theater...