Saturday, August 02, 2008

Love Me Tender

Meet Danielle Chastain of Fort Worth, Texas.

Reports do not state whether or not she was an Elvis fan. What the reports do state was that, when police arrived at her home and found her estranged husband outside, bruised and battered, they noted "the distinct “waffle-like pattern” of a meat tenderizer" in his injuries.

Ms. Chastain had beaten her husband with a meat tenderizer. She left the scene before the arrival of police and was arrested later.

This is not what Otis Redding had in mind when he suggested that we "try a little tenderness."

Feel free to insert your own hokey tenderizer jokes in the comments.


SkylersDad said...

Kind of hasty by the police on picking the choice of a weapon, it could have been a waffle iron.

That's the type of crime scene mistake that I know you never make sir!

Bubs said...

skylersdad, thank you for the vote of confidence. If she had truly clobbered him with a waffle iron that would've been hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Naturally, I'm wondering if all his meat got tenderized.

P.S. The two youngest spawn have developed an interest in stage make up all the sudden. I was a little shocked and displeased to find my own make-up stock rather depleted and mauled, but thought of you daughter and her talent and didn't totally lose my shit over it.

Freida Bee said...

Was he baked as well?

Distributorcap said...

was elvis' love me tender playing?

Mnmom said...

Is he now marinated?
I prefer using the flat side myself.

Dale said...

Your tenderizer joke could not be improved upon. Hilarious.

'Bubbles' said...

Best. Blog. Title. EVER.