Thursday, October 30, 2008

On, Wisconsin

Meet Valentina Grenader of New Berlin, Wisconsin.

Ms. Grenader is currently charged with attempted first-degree intentional homicide, strangulation and suffocation, and substantial battery.

Ms. Grenader and her victim, her husband Mark Grenader, arrived together at the New Berlin Police Department, with Mr. Grenader demanding to press charges against her.

His beef?

"He said she initiated sexual contact, tying him to bed posts and blindfolding him. Then she put the plastic wrap over his mouth and nose, making it difficult for him to breathe. He began thrashing and tried to yell for help.

She told him she was going to kill him and then herself, the complaint says.

As he pleaded for his life, she hit him three or four times with a dumbbell in the head..."
Ms. Grenader says she wasn't trying to kill him, only trying to get him to shut up so that she could discuss her gambling problem with him after losing $800 in a casino. She went on to describe her victim as "a control freak". Mr. Grenader required several stitches to close his head wound.

What I'd like to know:

1) How did the couple get from the house to the police station? What did they talk about in the car on the way over? Who drove?

2) What conditions of bond did the judge order, other than to "not possess weapons, including dumbbells"?

3) How long have they lived in Wisconsin? Because this is a pretty lame-ass attempt at necrophilia if you ask me, and I would expect better from a native or long-time resident.



16 comments:

lauralu said...

Good questions bubs, you are obviously an experienced and skilled detective.

Laura.

Distributorcap said...

this sort of sounds like a Stephen King novel doesnt it?

jin said...

You know, I always get a kick out of these. Just for the record. I never take offense because I SO OBVIOUSLY DO NOT BELONG HERE!

Heeeellllllpppppppp!!!



!!!!!
O!M!F!G!
Eerie!!!
WV= priteate
(sounds like pretty eat... sounds like something Gein would say!!! Ha!!!)

SkylersDad said...

Just trying to get him to shut up...

Wouldn't the plastic wrap have done that, if she just left it on long enough?

Erik Donald France said...

Golly, those folks in Wisconsin . . .

I love the "substantial battery" charge.

Maybe they made cellphone calls on the way over, sent text messages or played Donky Kong?

And will they vote? ;->

Freida Bee said...

Darn, I almost thought this was a crime of passion rather than a crime of compulsion.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Ahhh, the joys of upper midwestern life.

Randal Graves said...

I bet it would've turned into a crime of consumption. It's a widely known fact that human flesh goes great with cheese.

Cormac Brown said...

She wasn't trying to kill him, that was Wisconsin foreplay, don'tcha know?

kirby said...

She the one who ties him up and blindfolds him, and he's the control freak?

Mnmom said...

On Wisconsin!
I swear we could have an entire blog dedicated to bizarre and creepy news coming out of my neighbor to the east.

Gifted Typist said...

The devil's in the details, innit Bubs

Doc said...

"How did the couple get from the house to the police station? What did they talk about in the car on the way over? Who drove?"

I swear this is exactly what crossed my mind as I read they arrived together. I bet he made her drive so he could hold his head with one hand and point his finger with the other.

Too Funny!

Doc

Johnny Yen said...

It's never pretty when an amateur tries unsuccessfully to go pro.

jin said...

You jinspired a Halloween jinpoem with this post! Shame bubs!

Eebie said...

I wanted to comment but every time I think about it; it is just crazy. I like cormac's comment the best.

Gotta check out jin's poem...