Season's Greetings

I like getting Christmas cards. I'm lousy at sending them though, because I'm a thoughtless procrastinating loser who, when it comes right down to it, doesn't care enough to adequately plan to make the small simple gesture of sending a greeting card at this most joyous time of year. I make grand plans, and extensive lists, and earnestly intend to send clever and heartfelt cards right up until 2 or 3 days before Christmas when I realize it's too late and shitcan the whole idea. I've gone through this process every year for nearly a decade now, and it's become a reliable holiday tradition for me.

At work, though, that doesn't matter much. There are certain suppliers who send cards because they're grateful for the business I can occasionally send their way. I don't have to do a thing.

The other day I got this very pleasant greeting card:

I opened it and found this friendly, yet vague and inoffensive greeting:

And what are these "gifts of the season"? Well, Aftermath, Inc, has been thoughtful enough to list them on this business card that they thoughtfully enclosed in my greeting:

Happy holidays!