Monday, December 08, 2008

Season's Greetings

I like getting Christmas cards. I'm lousy at sending them though, because I'm a thoughtless procrastinating loser who, when it comes right down to it, doesn't care enough to adequately plan to make the small simple gesture of sending a greeting card at this most joyous time of year. I make grand plans, and extensive lists, and earnestly intend to send clever and heartfelt cards right up until 2 or 3 days before Christmas when I realize it's too late and shitcan the whole idea. I've gone through this process every year for nearly a decade now, and it's become a reliable holiday tradition for me.

At work, though, that doesn't matter much. There are certain suppliers who send cards because they're grateful for the business I can occasionally send their way. I don't have to do a thing.

The other day I got this very pleasant greeting card:




I opened it and found this friendly, yet vague and inoffensive greeting:



And what are these "gifts of the season"? Well, Aftermath, Inc, has been thoughtful enough to list them on this business card that they thoughtfully enclosed in my greeting:




Happy holidays!

14 comments:

Dale said...

I'm dreaming of a red Christmas!

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Sweet.

Mob said...

That's the best Christmas card ever.

I want a bulk of them to send out as our own card this year.

FranIAm said...

STFU!

Wow.

What was that number again?

Some Guy said...

After seeing that, now I'm really in the holiday spirit!

paulbrazill said...

Great stuff!

Johnny Yen said...

I guess they're hoping to cash in on holiday crankiness and family mass murders.

Randal Graves said...

You lucky bastard. All I get are stupid Norman Rockwell ripoffs.

dguzman said...

Hey, you can tell they read your blog.

Mnmom said...

That's hysterical!!!! Nothing says Merry Christmas like mass casualties!

SkylersDad said...

Whenever I think of the holiday spirit, I always think "Now how am I going to get blood out of my carpets again?"

paulbrazill said...

the family that slays together stays together ...

Megan said...

Oh that's just lovely! All you need with one 800 number!

Spartacus said...

Hoo boy! Talk about a festive buzz-kill. This must be their busy season, too.