Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Law Enforcement Quote of the Week

"It’s kind of a mixed bag. He takes her to his house, holds her captive, handcuffs her. We don’t know what the diapers are about. And then he’s reading the Bible to her. I don’t know."
-Toledo Police Department Captain Ray Carroll, discussing the arrest of Troy Ian Brisport for felonious assault and kidnapping.

Meet 34 year old Troy Ian Brisport of Toledo, Ohio:

Troy Ian Brisport is this week's Freak of the Week.

Brisport picked up a 22 year old homeless woman in Detroit, and offered her a place to stay. Once he got her back to his apartment he handcuffed her, undressed her, and put her in a diaper. Over the next three days he read Bible passages to her, and occasionally attempted to suffocate her with a pillow and blanket. Both Brisport and the victim, when interviewed by investigators, denied that they had any sexual contact.

On, Wisconsin!

The runner-up for Freak of the Week is Steven Marcsis, Jr. of Racine, Wisconsin.

For reasons known only to himself and the demons in his head, Steven was found "performing a sex act inside a trash bin" at an elementary school. The police were there to investigate some computer thefts and became suspicious when they saw the dumpster lid close. Steven, who lives with his mother, had a camera and some "lewd pictures" with him. Steven also had a bunch of child porn and a list of names and addresses of 500 girls back at his mom's place.

No one on the list has reported having any contact with Steven. Authorities stated that, since this was Wisconsin, they were relieved that there was no necrophilia or cannibalism involved.

There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

-William Shakespeare, "Hamlet"

Now there's more things in Tennessee
Than is dreamed of in your philosophy.

-Lux Interior, "Cornfed Dames"


SkylersDad said...

Any contact info listed for these two, just in case my sister is interested?

Lisa said...

Yay! Thank you for not having the word verification on comments.

SkylersDad! Bwahahahaha!

Cormac Brown said...


What the hell?

These guys should be "Freaks of The Year," but someone is somehow surpassing them even as I type this.

Eebie said...

Yeah, it's like a competition among these nutjobs, isn't it? All racing to be the most insane freakazoid on the planet. Everyone seeks attention, some people jump on couches, others imagine the President of the US is attempting to assassinate him. Yeah, we all strive for something everyone else will love.

Randal Graves said...

I for one am glad the world is insane because then you'd be posting about petty thefts instead of cannibalistic humanoid underground dwellers.

GETkristiLOVE said...

I hope the first guy at least knows how to change a diaper.