Wednesday, April 29, 2009

It's Weenie Waver Wednesday!

It's been a while, hasn't it? Let's get to it:

Garrett Scheg was arrested after leading police on a brief chase in his porno'd-out van. West Seneca, NY police checked out a suspicious vehicle and found Mr. Scheg in the back seat of his van, wearing only one sock, with "pornographic photos spread across the front seat and dashboard." Scheg took off, chased by police, and was eventually captured hiding on top of an abandoned travel trailer. The report does not indicate on which appendage Scheg was wearing his sock. And it appears Scheg might be a serial offender:

“There had been a prior report of a person matching his description with this kind of behavior,” (Lt. Patrick) Shea said. “We’re pretty sure it’s the same guy.”


To the Lumberyard

Meet Sara Ann Fazio, entertainer and proud Iowan. When Ms. Fazio was arrested for drunk driving she was uncooperative, and told her passenger to "call the police". Once she arrived at the Des Moines Police Department she decided to take off all her clothes. Her place of employment is listed on the report as The Lumberyard, a local strip club.

Drunk and naked is no way to be found in a Tokyo park if you're Japanese pop star Tsuyoshi Kusanagi
. When police arrived to investigate a noise complaint they found Kusanagi "alone and shrieking at the top of his voice". He reportedly asked investigating officers "what's wrong with being naked?"

Why Florida will always be a good source of stories

MSNBC gets credit for the best headline of the week:

Sex Doll Threesome Man Gets Off

George Bartusek was featured on this blog in February, after he was observed getting busy with two blowup dolls in his parked car. He was parked in front of the Publix supermarket at the time.

Mr. Bartusek was recently sentenced, and he avoided jail time. He got 6 months probation, and he'll have to do all his future shopping at Kroger or Winn Dixie--he's been banned from Publix. Yes, you heard that right--if you want to get naked in a parking lot full of people and f*ck a couple of blowup dolls in your car, in full view of the public, and you don't want to get locked up, Florida is the place to be.

Meet Paul William Kizer of Halsey, Oregon. Mr. Kizer failed to learn one of life's most basic lessons--getting naked and driving, and then screaming at the police, is one of the surest ways in the world to get yourself tasered. Kizer also had an outstanding warrant for an earlier DUI. Word of advice to aspiring traffic arrestees: if you're going to get naked and scream at the police, leave your bag o' weed at home.

Next up is the hilariously named Johnathan Fredrick Felch, 23, of San Luis Obispo. Mr. Felch will now forevermore be known as "The Naked Wizard" following his unfortunate encounter with police at the recent Coachella Festival. Mr. Felch, apparently intoxicated, decided to discard his wizard garb and put his micropenis on display for the whole world to see. After refusing repeated requests by the police to put his clothes back on, and then repeated refusal to be handcuffed, Mr. Felch got tasered.

Here's a link to the uncensored video: Naked Wizard Tased by Reality. It is definitely NSFW, which is why I don't have it embedded here. I am fascinated by the wildly differing views of the incident in the comments following the video.

And, finally, this public service announcement, courtesy of the Gaston Gazette:

Don't have sex in the Walmart parking lot in Gastonia, North Carolina. Just don't.


Lisa said...

I've just got to get out more. I had no idea that grocery store parking lots were such a hotbed of deviant activity.

BeckEye said...

Mr. Felch. Heh heh. He's a felcher. Huh huh huhuhuhuhuhuhuh.

vikkitikkitavi said...

Mr. Felch has an innie.

Mnmom said...

I just HAD to click on the felch definition didn't I?? Now that's an image I didn't need.

SkylersDad said...

Congrats Bub! No finer collection of stories and people has ever been put together.

The side by side last photo is one that should be used as birth control. One look at it put me off the mood for, well, literally minutes.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

The naked wizard clip wouldn't play for me, sadly. I really wanted to get a better understanding of the term "micropenis" too!

Randal Graves said...

You! Shall! Not! Strip! Alright, that was pretty geeky, but at least I don't get naked in public.

Anonymous said...

Since it was about one hundred degrees at Coachella that day, we can assume any claims of shrinkage by naked wizard guy are completely bogus.

Gifted Typist said...

is this what a man with no hair on his head does with his spare time?

Well then more men should shave their heads

Freida Bee, MD said...

If you don't want to watch a blow-up doll porn show on your way to your car with your kids, THEN DON'T LOOK.

Flo Joe is going to be very disappointed that they're cracking down at Wal-Mart parking lot.

Mr. Felch does have some big balls.

Bubs said...

Freida and Lisa, I looked back and saw that this was the second time this year that a Walmart parking lot has been part of Weenie-Waver Wednesday.

GT, the wheels are always turning...

Kirby, no kidding.

Randal Graves, thank you. I applaud your strong position on not stripping in public.

Barbara, you really need to try that video another time or on another computer. And there's a decent Wikipedia entry for "micropenis". I had no idea until I did this story...

Skylersdad, it is cautionary, isn't it?

MnMom, I apologize.

Vikki, well it's certainly not a baby's arm holding an apple, that's for sure.

Beckeye, that was my reaction when I found out his name.

Freida Bee, MD said...

Well, of course I had to look up micropenis in Wikipedia. I was quite disappointed that there were not descriptive pictures as well under the macropenis entry.

Damn you, Weenie Waver Wednesday!