Freak of the week alumni update

Waaaaaay back in May, a character known only as the "Cheesehead foot freak" won our Freak of the Week contest. News items said a he was arrested for stealing 1,500 pairs of shoes from girls lockers at high schools and middle schools, and I was amazed that, given that level of freakery, I could not find his name or his picture.

Well, generally my attention span has been badly shortened, but I remember a good fetishist. So when I caught a headline about a foot fetishist burglar pleading guilty, I quickly followed the link.

Now, it is with great pleasure that I present to you Erik D. Heinrich:

You can read about his guilty plea here. It should come as no surprise to anyone who reads this blog that Heinrich had a previous shoe-fetish burglary conviction in 2005.

On, Wisconsin!

Midweek Freak of the Week: first freak of the summer!

There are three freaks this week. Let's have a little contest, shall we?

Contestant number one hails from the Badger State. For some reason, not a single article I found mentioned this freak by name. But here's the story: a 27 year old man was arrested and found to be in possession of 1,500 pairs of girl's shoes. He stole the shoes from area schools because, as a police spokesman said, "he liked to smell them."

Contestant number two was very definitely identified after he got caught jerking off in a women's bathroom at the University of Arizona. And, uh, oh yeah--he turned out to be an FBI agent:

Ryan Seese, 33, was cited on suspicion of public sexual indecency, criminal trespassing and indecent exposure, said Sgt. Eugene Mejia, a University of Arizona Police Department spokesman.

Contestant number three is another unknown freak, and a Canadian! Perhaps our favorite Canadians Dale or Barbara might have some insight into this behavior; then again, it might be really scary if they do.

Police in Guelph, Ontario, are looking for a man who is approaching women and asking them to kick him in the groin. Two of the women reported that the man was riding a bicycle at the time, so maybe he wasn't really committed to getting kicked in the balls. Here's what caught my attention:

According to a police spokesperson, they want to find this freak not because he's actually committed a crime, but because "That kind of behavior tends to be a precursor to sexual assault." In my 19 years of police work, I've never seen nor heard of a sexual assault that starts off with the offender asking the victim to kick him in the balls, but then again, I've never worked sex crimes in Canada. Is it different up there?

Freak of the week

This week's Freak of the Week goes to 24 year old Garth M. Flaherty.

Mr. Flaherty was caught with 93 pounds of women's panties and bras, and was charged with multiple counts of burglary and theft. Police were able to link Mr. Flaherty to specific items of underwear "based on the unique descriptions from a couple of women" according to the story. The police are unsure if the stolen undies will be returned when the case is disposed of; here's a quote from Commander Tennant:

"Would you really want them back?" he asked. "I would say not."

First runner-up goes to an unknown Michigan woman, identified only as "Melissa", who walked into a frat house during dinner, stripped naked and masturbated. She left before the police arrived, presumably to return home to feed her pet caimans and ferrets.

Melissa didn't win first place because, according to the article, she appeared to be under the influence of drugs. Award-winning freak behavior should be the result of dark compulsions only dimly understood by the freak, not the result of some cheap high.