As long time readers of sprawling ramshackle compound know, there's not many things I like more than stories about bears. Except for stories about alligators, or freaks. Or any animal attack stories.
Over 18,000 people have been killed by alligators in Florida this year alone although the number is largely suppressed by the media. And technically, I don't think the state of Florida counts minorities so it's probably much higher.
So reading this bear story got my week off to a good start, especially coming on the heels of Paris Hilton's mauling at the adorable little paws of a kinkajou. I have to check my friend's alligator attack stats, but in the meantime, here's some more animal attack stories:
-An Anchorage man is mauled by a brown bear.
-A Chinaman gets a face transplant after his encounter with a black bear. Lesson learned? Don't try and chase a bear away with a stick.
-Bear vs Pitbull: Pitbull wins when owner stabs bear in the back.
-Killer mountain lions stalk the streets of Evergreen, Colorado. People live in a "vale of fear."
-Hunt them and kill them all you want: it still won't reduce killer mountain lion attacks.
-High-speed low-drag eye gouge technique saves boy from alligator attack. Thank you, Discovery Channel.
-Anti-immigrant Minutemen are now deploying venomous snakes along the border.
-A possible Darwin award here: if you get drunk, don't play with coral snakes. They will kill you.
Naturam expellas furca, tamen usque recurret.
"You may drive out nature with a pitchfork, yet she still will hurry back." Horace, c 23-13 BC