Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Freak of the week

This week's Freak of the Week goes to 24 year old Garth M. Flaherty.

Mr. Flaherty was caught with 93 pounds of women's panties and bras, and was charged with multiple counts of burglary and theft. Police were able to link Mr. Flaherty to specific items of underwear "based on the unique descriptions from a couple of women" according to the story. The police are unsure if the stolen undies will be returned when the case is disposed of; here's a quote from Commander Tennant:

"Would you really want them back?" he asked. "I would say not."

First runner-up goes to an unknown Michigan woman, identified only as "Melissa", who walked into a frat house during dinner, stripped naked and masturbated. She left before the police arrived, presumably to return home to feed her pet caimans and ferrets.

Melissa didn't win first place because, according to the article, she appeared to be under the influence of drugs. Award-winning freak behavior should be the result of dark compulsions only dimly understood by the freak, not the result of some cheap high.

11 comments:

lulu said...

I'm confused as to why the frat is throwing out the couchs, surely that is far from the worst thing that has has happened on them.

And I bet that at some point they have paid a young woman to come in and do pretty much the same thing, only to a hair-metal soundtrack and in 6 inch lucite heels.

Johnny Yen said...

93 pounds? That's ridiculous. You'd think that the average pervert would be content is 30, 40 pounds of women's undies, tops...

I wonder if his favorite song is Pink Floyd's "Arnold Layne*?"

I think that "Melissa" is clearly a misunderstood performance artist. I've heard of way weirder things coming out of the Soho/Chelsea art scene.


*an early Pink Floyd hit about a guy who steals women's undies.

justacoolcat said...

Atleast Mr.Flaherty kept it under 100 pounds and avoided the mandatory minimums.

As for the frat boys; boy has college changed when frat houses call the cops on a masturbating woman.

Tenacious S said...

Underwear and masturbation. That's a tasty combo!

Dino aka Katy said...

I am with Lulu on the couches. Mhh I can't even imagine the number of undies one would need to get 93 pounds

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I was just thinking that I'm going to go weigh all my unmentionable now. I may need to go shopping.

Mob said...

Did he think there was a contest, was he going for a 100 pounds?

Wow.

And to echo Justacoolcat, what a lousy fraternity.

Danny Tagalog said...

This is great - well, for lesson material. I have a private who lost all her underwear and was befuddled about what sort of person would do such a thing. This is good lesson material for her. Laughter aplenty. But, imagine being inside his brain. Fuck, no.

Danny Tagalog said...

The runner-up? Oh no....

Where do you get these freakish stries from. Keep them coming!

Bubs said...

Danny, glad you enjoyed it!

mob, the thing with obsession is that it's only worth pursuing if you pursue it all the way. A 50 pound panty obsession, you gotta admit, is only half as interesting as a 100 pound panty obsession.

Barbara and Katy, don't feel inadequate. Remember that 93 pound total included all of the DNA that Garth Flaherty undoubtedly added to the pile.

Ten S, isn't it though?

Coolcat and Lulu, that doesn't sound like any frat I've ever known. I like how it took them a half hour to call the police. Is this girl on YouTube yet?

Johnny, you're right about the performance art thing--if Melissa had poured chocolate syrup all over herself she'd have been Karen Finley.

"jew" "girl" said...

you are so fucking fabulous! I couldn't agree with you more.

here's the thing I don't get, drugged or not, she dropped trow and jerked herself off in the presence of straight or seemingly straight horny men. why did they call the police? are they new?

flaherty is a cross-dresser shamed. so sad. he should've just shlepped to a second hand store for some vinty panties to satiate his cross dressing soul.