Friday, November 02, 2007

Germany or Florida: Post-Halloween Edition Answers

Time for some answers.

Congratulations to Katy and Doctor Monkey Von Monkerstein for their perfect scores!

I've noticed before that people tend to assign a story to Germany or Florida based on certain assumptions--for instance, stories involving cannibalism = Germany, stories involving tattoos = Florida. Very often this is true, at least anecdotally, and remember that in the bold and ever-expanding science known as narcozoology, anecdotal evidence is the most important kind.

Still, I have to confess. Usually stories contain some cultural clue that has to be withheld in order to make the game more competitive. I've listed the answers to each question in a link to the original news story. I've also listed any clue that, if given, would have clearly revealed the origin of the story.

1) A man was arrested after asking his new online buddy to help him kill someone for the purpose of having sex with the corpse (and no, it's not Wisconsin--there are no trick questions here)

2) A man passed out drunk on his way home from a Halloween party, in full zombie makeup. He was mistaken for a murder victim and police were called.
The man was passed out on a train. Germans ride trains. Floridians don't ride trains--they walk, or ride the bus, or steal a car.)

3) A child became entangled in his family's spider web decorations and was nearly strangled to death.

4) A man was caught trying to smuggle two large dildos, hidden in sausages, into Dubai.
Come on--the presence of sausage was a dead giveaway. Likewise, if it had been catfish, you woulda known it was Florida. Interestingly my eldest said that Dubai was the Germany indicator--she didn't picture anyone from Florida flying to Dubai.)

5) A man was arrested for placing his roommate in a headlock and biting off part of his ear.
911 was called by a neighbor who was out walking his pit bull. That is pure Florida there.)

6) Prison guards allowed two female inmates to wed each other in an elaborate ceremony featuring wedding rings fashioned from human hair and dental floss.
(*The guards were suspended for doing this. According to my eldest, the idea of a lesbian prison wedding sounded kind of like something that might be done in a progressive European nation. The fact that the participating guards were disciplined indicated that it happened here in the USA.)


Mob said...

Rats, I only got two correct.

I'm obviously way out of touch with my deviant nature.

Bubs said...

Mob, if it makes you feel any better, even at the height of Germany or Florida on the show Loveline, Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla usually only got it right about half the time.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Yay! I win, I win!

Johnny Yen said...

I had seen newspaper stories on a couple of those, so I did feel like it was fair to pariticipate.

Regarding #2, in the story I saw, the authorities pointed out that Halloween is not commonly observed in Germany-- in the US, people would have figured out quickly what was going on.

When I was in Germany in 1994, my friend I was visiting found me a Halloween Party to go to. I'll post the pics sometime on my blog sometime. I went as a Black Panther. Yes, the political kind.

Dino aka Katy said...

*bows* thank you

for the dead give away - yes the lesbian marriage is more European HOWEVER German prisons are not fun and they would NEVER allow such a thing to take place

Hot Lemon said...

wait a sec, I LIVE here and I never get to see none o' this action!! I'm in th' wrong damned part of the state, apparently!!

jewgirl said...

I've always wondered, bubs, where do you find your yarns? what newspapers? you don't have to spill, I'm just curious.

you find the most obscure, hilar dish.

Bubs said...

JG, here it is, in no particular order:

stories sent to me by friends and family

some pages like cnn, reuters and yahoo have sections for offbeat stories

google searches for terms like "naked" and "freak"

lately I've started using but that feels like cheating.

HELLO HOT LEMON! Sorry you live in Florida and are missing out on all the hot Floridian action. Somehow I suspect that you don't travel in the same socioeconomic circles as the Floridians in these stories.

Katy, congratulations! So you're saying German prisons aren't full of hot lesbians?

Johnny, please do! Got to see those pictures.

Dr MVM congratulations! Fly your freak flag proudly, sir.

Coaster Punchman said...

No fair letting Katy win. She's German.