More carnival fun!

You know what else you can find at carnivals?

The book "Road Show" by John Haase is a bold, exciting tale of carnival life. It will show you what you can find at carnivals, besides the hard-hitting tent man's sledge hammer.

Look closely and see...

And the winner is...

Thanks for playing everyone! I apologize for not getting the results posted sooner.

A few notes before we announce the winner. Germany or Florida is a difficult game, and guessing the correct answer is more of an art than a science. At the height of its popularity on the show Loveline, Dr. Drew got approximately 40% correct, and Adam Corolla 55%. In other words, you're doing really well if you approach anything over 50% accuracy.

As I have stated before, there are a number of subtle cultural clues that can help:

Sausage=Germany
Crack cocaine=Florida
Fetish or weird sex=Germany
Nudity=Germany
Monkeys=Germany
Inept criminals with poorly thought out plans=Florida
Cannibalism and/or body parts=Germany (Is this where Wisconsin gets it?)
Domestic violence=Florida
Pitbulls and/or gunplay=Florida
Religious zealotry=Florida

Incest and morbid obesity can go either way. It bears repeating, though, that none of these single clues are 100% accurate. Now, on to the winners of

Germany or Florida: Amputee Criminal Holiday Edition!

Third place was an impressive four-way tie among Skylersdad, Dale, Freida and Spartacus, with 8 correct answers. Well done, folks!

Second place was a tie between Bill T. and Bad Tempered Zombie, with 10 correct answers.

And the winner is...Eebie, with 11 correct answers! Eebie will be receiving a copy of Peeping Tom by Jack Woodford, published in 1948 by the Diversey Publishing Corporation of Chicago:



According to the back cover, this book is "uninhibited and racy." It must be, because an earlier owner underlined those very words:



I've printed the questions below, with the origin of each story highlighted at the end. My comments are in red. I liked the problem-solving strategies that a lot of readers used in the comments, too.

1) A man and woman got in an argument over her misplaced false teeth. The man gave her what she called “flying lessons”, throwing her up into the air and onto the kitchen floor. She grabbed a knife and threatened to kill him. FLORIDA
Classic domestic violence=Florida.

2) A pregnant woman wearing a cap, sunglasses and rubber gloves attempted to rob a bank. She also brought her toddler along. FLORIDA
The rubber gloves might have suggested a fetish angle (Germany) but the correct call was made by Bill T and Cormac Brown: the toddler. Cormac suggested, rightly, that daycare would have been available in Germany, and Bill seemed to grab the overall white-trashitude of bringing your kid along on a badly thought-out score.

3) Police officers sent to investigate a loud party were mistaken for strippers by the raucous female partygoers. GERMANY

4) A man was arrested after offering to pay for his takeout order with marijuana. FLORIDA FLORIDA FLORIDA

5) Parents want a teacher fired after she performed a striptease for her teenaged students. GERMANY
This was, perhaps, the toughest question. Hot teacher said Florida, but nudity says Germany. Her dance was captured on video:



6) A boy was blasted through the window of a bathroom after making a stinky poo, spraying air freshener to cover the smell, and playing with a lighter. GERMANY

7) A woman dropped by a man’s apartment to smoke some crack. While waiting, she opened some canned sardines and some sausages, enraging him. He beat her and got arrested. FLORIDA
Crack cocaine and interpersonal violence trump sardines and sausage, making Florida the correct call.

8) An unknown amputee, missing both arms, managed to steal a 24” television set. He got two people to assist in somehow clamping the television to his chest before walking out. He was not caught; the theft was discovered later after when the security video was reviewed. GERMANY
What I didn't make clear was that the two people who helped the offender were strangers to him. That made it a clear Germany story--a criminal in Florida who planned on the kindness of strangers would have been victimized himself.

9) A man in a wheelchair robbed a bank. He was captured minutes later, a block away from the bank. He initially told cops he was forced to do it by two armed men who took the money from him. The cash was found in his prosthetic leg. FLORIDA
Classic poorly thought out Florida crime. In this case, alcohol was involved:

10) A man turned on the gas in his apartment to kill himself after his girlfriend dumped him. When the girlfriend stopped by later to pick up her things, she lit a cigarette and caused an explosion. The man was charged with murder after his neighbor died in the explosion. GERMANY

11) This area is experiencing a critical shortage of shopping center Santas. Successful candidates need a “clean police record.” GERMANY
Another really tough choice.

12) A 37 year old man living with his parents was arrested for attempting to attack his father with the family Christmas tree. FLORIDA
Once again, domestic violence=Florida.

13) A 56 year old man was stripped of his gun license after a home inspection revealed the gun was hidden under a pillow in his bed. The man’s home was being checked because he had threatened to “throw a hand grenade” if the city council approved plans for a high voltage power line near his house. GERMANY
The most popular places to keep guns in Florida are where they are easily accessible. Places like under a pillow, or in a glove box of an unlocked car. While the crank threat against public officials sounds American, I can't imagine police in Florida inspecting a home for guns. They don't have enough cops or a big enough overtime budget for that.

14) A drug dealer escaped from prison by concealing himself in a large cardboard box, which was then carried out of the facility by a courier service along with other packages. GERMANY

15) A 28 year old woman was arrested after a man came home to find the drunk woman on his roof, drinking beer, and refusing to come down unless he gave her more beer. FLORIDA

16) After drinking with a friend, a man burglarized a preschool to steal toys as holiday gifts for his children. Police found a stolen see-saw, a desk easel and some Frisbees in the man’s yard. FLORIDA

17) A woman suspected that her husband was cheating on her. She demanded that he allow her to smell his penis to determine if her fears were true. When she went to sniff, he punched her in the head, kicked her when she was on the floor, and left before the cops arrived. FLORIDA
While there might have been a fetish aspect to the penis-sniffing, this is really straight up Florida trash. Bacon Lady nailed this one, and pointed out that there is a popular rap song titled, appropriately enough, "Smell Yo Dick". The artist, Riskay-The Drama Queen, hails from Bartow in central Florida.

This is rich

A friend of mine just forwarded a link to this here piece from Harper's Magazine:

The Illustrated President

The commentary deals with President George W. Bush's identification with a painting titled "A Charge to Keep", which GWB used as the title of his autobiography. That's the inspiring painting you see at the top of this post. You'll note that the rider in the foreground bears a resemblance to the current POTUS.

From Bush's book:

"I thought I would share with you a recent bit of Texas history which epitomizes our mission. When you come into my office, please take a look at the beautiful painting of a horseman determinedly charging up what appears to be a steep and rough trail. This is us. What adds complete life to the painting for me is the message of Charles Wesley that we serve One greater than ourselves."

Bush sees the rider in the painting, with whom he identifies, as a Christian missionary struggling determinedly against adversity.

Well, it turns out that the painting was commissioned for a western short story in the Saturday Evening Post in 1916, and it depicts not a Christian missionary but an escaping horse thief:

"...So Bush’s inspiring, prosyletizing Methodist is in fact a silver-tongued horse thief fleeing from a lynch mob. It seems a fitting marker for the Bush presidency. Bush has consistently exhibited what psychologists call the “Tolstoy syndrome.” That is, he is completely convinced he knows what things are, so he shuts down all avenues of inquiry about them and disregards the information that is offered to him. This is the hallmark of a tragically bad executive. But in this case, it couldn’t be more precious. The president of the United States has identified closely with a man he sees as a mythic, heroic figure. But in fact he’s a wily criminal one step out in front of justice. It perfectly reflects Bush the man. . . and Bush the president."

And there you have it.

Early morning checklist

Gun? Check.

Bourbon? Check.

Clown...clown?!

Weird Tales

H.P. Lovecraft, Robert E. Howard (Conan the Barbarian) and Robert Bloch (Psycho) all wrote for Weird Tales.

All I can say is, who cares. That cover makes me wish I was a disembodied skull, long as I could get that kind of action.

Hubba.

Strange Stories

See gatorhead woman in bondage! Freak fiddlers! Snake hair woman! Crawling corpse! Cleavage! Cleavage!

Good times my friends. Good times.

Famous Monsters

Now that is one swanky monster. I know I want to go to whatever soirée they're headed to.

Famous Monsters of Filmland was published by James Warren and edited by Forrest J Ackerman.

We can also thank Forrest J Ackerman with creating the very first Vampirella comic. Hubba.



Now for the scaaary part.

Among the many things Forry has done over the years, he was the literary agent for L. Ron Hubbard, back when L. Ron was hustling pulp stories--long before he decided to make real money by inventing a religious cult. He also represented Ed Wood Jr., who wrote outrageous pulp fiction when he wasn't directing classic movies like Glen or Glenda. Forry is also widely credited for having popularized the term "sci-fi".

Anyway, 4SJ is still around. He turns 91 next month. You can visit his website here.


I don't know when my dad started buying me Famous Monsters, but I remember seeing my first ones when I was 4 or 5 years old. The first ones I remember are these two:


What's funny is, my dad disapproved of comic books and Mad Magazine, but had no problem buying these. I carried them around, memorizing monster movie trivia and establishing a life-long love of bad puns. I even got in trouble for bringing them to school and scaring other children with the combination of movie pictures and stories I made up.

Sadly, my once vast collection of Famous Monsters of Filmland is now almost entirely gone. Like the GI Joe stuff I wish I'd taken better care of. We still have two editions, one of which was MizBubs' when she was a kid:

The 1966 Yearbook (Think Simpsons comic book guy: BEST. ISSUE. EVER.)


The 100th Issue, published in 1973.


You can see all the cool covers of every Famous Monsters on this here website.

The Future, The Way It Used To Be: Pre-Halloween Edition

It's no secret I dig the chicks from the future. For those of you uninterested in glamorous space-age cheesecake, check out the ripped abs and futuristic lightning bolt sash on spaceman, there.

I aim to please.

Weird and Occult Miscellany

This might be a good name for future features here at the Compound.

Weird and Occult Miscellany was published by a Brit named Gerald G. Swan. Swan was an enterprising fellow who stockpiled paper before WWII, and was one of the few publishers in Great Britain who was able to keep turning out material when paper was rationed during the war.

15 cent horror stories

Good morning!

Halloween is only 16 days away. Plenty of time to catch up on your Halloween reading.

Did I mention that WE like Halloween too?

Splotchy has announced that he'll be posting cool monster movie trailers each Friday leading up to Halloween. Since he's already got the market on movie trailers, and Tenacious S seems to have gotten in on movie trailers on days other than Fridays, I'll be doing pulp magazine covers.


Only MY feature won't just happen on Fridays. Nope. They'll pop up any old time.