Sunday, July 19, 2009

Why am I such a dick sometimes?

MizBubs just bought a new car for the first time in her life yesterday. Thanks to the "Cash for Clunkers" program, she settled on a new Nissan Cube. It marks the first time since 1989 that she has not been the driver of a minivan. She is excited.

Our youngest, just-starting-to-drive daughter is also very excited. She pushed hard for the Cube, and was terrified that MizBubs, practical and thrifty gal that she is, might opt for something cheaper and more run o' the mill than the Cube. As my bride finished up her paperwork, I couldn't resist sending a text message to our youngest:

Your mom decided to go with a charcoal nissan sentra


My bride looked at me, shook her head and said "why do you do this?"

"Can't help myself" I answered, starting to cackle. She's told me before that my passive aggressive practical joking sometimes marks me as kind of a jerk. This is how the rest of the exchange went:

Youre kidding.

3000 cheaper

Its a 4 door sedan but i talked her out of the wagon

Why would we get a sedan theres no space were getting a cube you cant just lie to me for a month

She decided to go with a more sensible car than a cube

The cube IS sensible. If youre kidding stop it its NOT funny.

Its a sedan but it has a really big trunk and a full size spare

TELL HER NO GET THE FUCKING CUBE PLEASE. DONT DO THIS

Shes signing the paperwork now

If you dont get the cube I wont talk to you for the rest of the summer.

Does this mean our road trip is off? Because the sedan is a smooth ride

I hate you guys.

I think MizBubs got a good deal on the car, but I'm not completely sure. I was giggling like Richard Widmark pushing an old woman down the stairs, and didn't really pay much attention to the closing details. She told me later that it worked out well for her. When everything was finished she texted both girls and said she was surprised, and maybe a little disappointed, that

1) they had no faith in her to ultimately choose the fun car, and

2) they fell for my bullshit, again, after all these years.

I did not get hit that hard when I got home.

21 comments:

SkylersDad said...

You must have built up a tolerance to getting smacked in the side of the head after all these years, just like me.

Distributorcap said...

i am so glad i dont own a car

Elizabeth McQuern said...

"you cant just lie to me for a month"

Ha ha!

Whiskeymarie said...

I must be a jerk too, because I LOVE doing this sort of stuff to people.

Evil Genius * 10^5 said...

You are a beautiful man and an inspiration.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

You have to do that kind of stuff from time to time or you'd go bat sh*t crazy.

Me said...

Only reason to have kids is to do stuff like this, really.

kirby said...

The Cube. Is that the little car that kind of looks like Antonio Gaudi designed it?

Lisa said...

This is totally one of my favorite things about parenting. MathMan used to give me all kinds of shit "She's your daughter, not your sister..." blah, blah, blah.

But you know, he's worse than I am when it comes to teasing them. He insists on telling them that I really AM their mother.

Mnmom said...

You HAVE to mess with your teens mind or else THE TERRORISTS WIN!

Megan said...

Full point.

Erik Donald France said...

Evil! But prettty damned funny.

Freida Bee, MD said...

One man's passive aggressive is another man's playful.
(Some might even call it kinky, but I'd watch out for those types.)

dguzman said...

It's so much damned fun fooling and teasing kids! I do it to mine all the time. Drives her fucking nuts.

Dr. Zaius said...

That was mean!

bubbles said...

You are very funny, Mr. Bubs! I enjoy goofing with my kids, but they are on to me... sometimes! :-)

I was checking out cash for clunkers very closely. Opted to get the old clunker fixed - again because I'm all for throwing good money after bad (?), we'll see. Just posted about it today, in fact.

Cormac Brown said...

"'Can't help myself' I answered, starting to cackle."

Cousin!

'cause when you pull stuff like this, I know that you and me have to be related somewhere before the tree branched off.

vikkitikkitavi said...

No offense, Bubs, but I don't understand this trend toward cars that look like Kleenex boxes.

Coaster Punchman said...

If this is the worst abuse your daughters can expect I don't feel sorry for them! Come on Bubs, you can come up with something scarier than that can't you?

Tenacious S said...

Really? That was pretty funny and as a parent it is our right to terrorize and mock our children. Toughen 'em up. It's a harsh world out there!

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