Friday, July 04, 2008

On, Wisconsin!


Meet Aaron Maurice of Appleton, Wisconsin.

A couple in Appleton was awakened in the early morning hours by the sound of someone whistling in their basement. Being prepared Americans, they grabbed a shotgun and investigated.

In the basement they found Mr. Maurice, wearing the man's hat and the woman's jacket, and covered in barbecue sauce. Maurice related that he was hiding from the government, and later described the barbecue sauce as "an urban disguise, if you will."

Maurice's attorney, Gene Bartman, noted that Maurice was motivated by "inexplicable reasons."

12 comments:

Dino said...

you know i really would love to know what these idiots are thinking. just like the thing i dealt with last week (if you haven't read it go to this post for a link to the private blog - I'd love a law officials perspective on this.)

Joe said...

Katy, I just commented at your place. All I can say is, if people stopped doing stuff that didn't make sense I'd be out of a job.

Fran said...

Hmmm... short ribs. Not so tasty this 4th of July.

Sheeee- ite. Whatever is the hell wrong with people that they will waste perfectly good barbeque sauce as an urban disguise?

Eebie said...

Well the BBQ sauce would certainly keep me away...so it is not unreasonable.

Anonymous said...

I'll have some white bread with that, thanks.

SkylersDad said...

An "Urban" disguise, as opposed to a rural one?

Erik Donald France said...

You know, the Donner Party wasn't really a party ;->

Saucy!

Mnmom said...

There is some really strange sh&t going down in Wisconsin, just trust me, they are freekin STRANGE over there.

Johnny Yen said...

"Inexplicable reasons" indeed.

Too bad my old employer, Michael Inglimo lost his law license for three years and can't be his lawyer. They'd be a perfect match.

Coaster Punchman said...

He's actually nice looking for a crazy guy.

Joe said...

Coaster, I think he looks relatively good because he's shower-fresh for his mugshot. I'm betting he just got hosed off before this was taken.

Johnny, yow. At least barbecue sauce boy wasn't naked.

mn, it is a strange and depraved state isn't it?

Eric, no kidding!

Skylersdad, I know, I thought it funny that he associated "barbecue sauce" with "urban".

Dena, perfect!

Eebie, howdy and thanks for stopping by! Yeah, I'd bet that would put me off barbecue for at least a week.

Fran, I wonder what he would've done if they hadn't any barbecue sauce? Mustard? Ketchup? Mayonnaise? The mind reels. I'm surprised, since it was Wisconsin, that he wasn't wearing his treebark camouflage coveralls in the first place.

Katie Schwartz said...

It's fucktard Sunday at Schwartzy's. I read "Gene Bartman" as "Gene BATMAN". Shame of it.

Love this f'n post, child. As if BBQ sauce will save him from the gahd'nment.