Pork

This is one of the shoulders about to be pulled.

30 pounds of pork shoulder cooked down to 14 pounds of pulled pork. It cooked almost 10 hours at 225 degrees. I think it's pretty good.

Now it's time for bed.

On, Wisconsin!

Meet Aaron Maurice of Appleton, Wisconsin.

A couple in Appleton was awakened in the early morning hours by the sound of someone whistling in their basement. Being prepared Americans, they grabbed a shotgun and investigated.

In the basement they found Mr. Maurice, wearing the man's hat and the woman's jacket, and covered in barbecue sauce. Maurice related that he was hiding from the government, and later described the barbecue sauce as "an urban disguise, if you will."

Maurice's attorney, Gene Bartman, noted that Maurice was motivated by "inexplicable reasons."

Saucy

MizBubs' elbow is seen slaving away in the Sprawling Ramshackle Compound test kitchen, stirring sauces.

The lighter sauce on the left is a North Carolina style mustard and vinegar based sauce. It's vinegary all right. The one on the right is a more mid-south sauce, heavier on the molasses and brown sugar. We ended up adding some chipotle and chocolate to make it richer, and it's gotten quite a bit darker since this picture was taken.

In many cultures, especially in our home, the man with the most pork is widely regarded as a god-king in the community.

This is what 30 pounds of pork shoulder looks like before it gets rubbed with spices and put back in the refrigerator to prepare for 8-10 hours of hickory smoking tomorrow. 30 pounds of pork shoulder will probably cook down to about 20 pounds of meat, and at 6 oz per serving for pulled pork sandwiches that should be about 53 servings.

Dystopia, our eldest, hoisted Old Glory out front today. It was an inspiring moment.

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One thing I like about our family are the random moments. Like coming home and finding this little tableau: a note written to our eldest while she was house-sitting, now spotted with some stage blood from the horror con. Resting on top of that was a sharp little gardening tool that the youngest had just used to tear up the weeds from the front walk. Here is the effect:

I don't know, it just looked kind of crime-sceney to me. In a good way.

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OK, can we start blowing stuff up yet?

Let's get on with the holiday, shall we?

I'm ready for the 4th to get here. You may have noticed the new Independence Day-themed banner at the top of the page. I got that courtesy of photoshop wizard Dr. Zaius, and I'd like to thank him publicly for helping make things a little more festive around here. He also provided this alternate version that I may use to mix things up a little:

Nice work, huh?

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Well, today marked this summer's first appearance of the deep fryer. We did fried dill pickles, and I was told by the girls that they were better than the ones from the Blue and White Restaurant in Tunica, Mississippi and from the Praline Connection! Woot! Even better than the pickles, though, was the catfish. I tried out an Emeril Lagasse recipe that involved slicing the filets into 1" strips. They cooked for about 3 minutes (after soaking in milk and creole mustard for an hour, and being dredged in flour, corn meal and Tony Chachere's seasoning) and it might have been the best fried catfish I've ever eaten. I was stunned. MizBubs found the slaw recipe she's going to use on the 5th, and it was delicious. It starts as a traditional cole slaw recipe, but has some fennel to perk it up. It was goooooood. On top of that, she made two loaves of fresh bread yesterday, and half a loaf got devoured with dinner. We ate everything before I had a chance to take pictures of it.

We are going to have some feedbag next weekend. After tonight, though, we realized that the fryer is too much work for a party--I don't want to be slaving away over a vat of hot grease when there's people to talk to and drink with.

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Our eldest totally got ripped off at the zombie pinup contest at Flashback Weekend in Rosemont. She didn't even place.

Now look at this and tell me she isn't one amazing zombie pinup:



That's from one of her friend's pages. I'll try and find one that's not so blurry. She did say she met a lot of nice people and might pick up some makeup work in the near future. I wish I'd been that cool at 19.

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There was no Sunday afternoon cocktail today. We have to focus.

Now it's time to get back to work.

Slap-happy Sunday

I'm still happily exhausted from last night's fundraiser for the New Orleans Public Library Foundation. We got home well after 1 in the morning, and ended up sleeping until 10:30. Ahhhh.

Amy Guth raised $4,000 in one night, and she is to be mightily commended. Watch her blog, because I'm sure she'll be posting a bit once Pilcrow ends tonight. I was thrilled that, in the end, I could use my powers for good by providing an armed escort to Ms. Guth when she deposited the proceeds at the bank. At one point one of my daughters asked if I was drunk, but then realized that it was just that my eyes had taken on that watery just-about-to-cry look that I get sometimes when people start talking about New Orleans.

What a wonderful night. I ended up bidding on, and winning, a rebuilt book from author Timothy Schaffert. He had re-worked a library copy of The Phantom Limbs of the Rollow Sisters with some doll parts and an antique key. My youngest fell in love with it. After the auction Mr. Schaffert stopped by and chatted, and my daughter told him that his rebuilt book reminded her of the movie Tideland. I think he took that for the compliment it was intended as.

Katie Schwartz... Katie Schwartz! She's now part of our family, and we look forward to her return in October. I wish I'd had more time to talk with her friend Jonuel (I think that's the spelling?) because he was engaging, witty, and a great conversationalist. Meeting Katie and her friend, and seeing the response that Amy Guth got to her inaugural Pilcrow outing, reminded me of the experience we had at Johnny Yen's birthday party last weekend. In all cases I was impressed by the ability of good people to draw other like souls to them, and the gift it is to be able to introduce people, and turn strangers into friends.

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So now, how do we enjoy a day with nothing to do? (yes, I know about the pile of wood chips, pipe down, ok, I'll get to them tomorrow when I'm done commemorating our war dead.) Here's how we spend a day like that. We cook pork, putter around, and drink something tasty.

Right now we have 6 pounds of boneless pork ribs grilling over hickory smoke in back. According to MizBubs the back porch smells like a restaurant. I made fresh barbecue sauce, which I think came out pretty well, and she's made a huge bowl of Maw-Maw's slaw, an Emeril Lagasse recipe involving cabbage, kale and homemade mayonnaise. There's a pound of fresh asparagus waiting to be grilled, and ice cream from Capannari's.

And MizBubs, bless her, decided to make today's Sunday Afternoon Cocktail: Sangria!

1 bottle of rose wine
1 bottle of Pinot Grigio
1 Cameo apple
1 Valencia orange
1 pint of blackberries
1 cup of triple sec

• Chop the apple and orange, and place in a large pitcher with the blackberries
• Add the triple sec and let sit for a while
• Add the wine, stir, and refrigerate for one hour
• Serve over ice and enjoy
  

Bottoms up!

End of the day

I hope everyone had a decent weekend.

Contrary to what I posted earlier, MizBubs did not just want a drink and a smoke and to be left the hell alone today. Nor did my mom. So we forced them to gorge themselves on sushi and ice cream cake, then I got my better half home and plied her with champagne.

Yes, the Sunday afternoon cocktail today is champagne. Served in a wine glass, not a flute, because a flute just doesn't hold enough and we were too lazy to keep getting up off the couch for more. Here we sit, watching Bobby Flay and some blonde chick cook pork shoulder. I just watched two of the throwdown judges describe themselves as "certified barbecue judges" and I thought...hmm, how does one become a certified barbecue judge? I must find out.

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So MizBubs, relentless girl dynamo, worked her ass off this weekend prior to Mother's day. Our youngest celebrated her 16th birthday by having a few friends over, and we had to get the house into shape. Our place was still looking pretty disastrous from having a few rooms painted while I was out of town. We spent Saturday morning cleaning like crazy before I left for work, and before the teenage girls arrived.

We made a few changes in the living room and tiki bar, and honestly I can't wait to have some of y'all over this summer to hang out, eat and drink with us. I'll spare you the before pictures and just go right to the good stuff.

This is how it looks from the kitchen, walking back:



Here's the youngest, reclining:

A friend of mine had an early 60's hi-fi console that he didn't want. I got it from him in exchange for a bottle of Cabo Wabo tequila. We've always wanted a big-ass tropical plant, and MizBubs ran out today to IKEA and treated herself to a Majesty palm tree for $15.



The shelves behind the tiki bar got cleaned up and reorganized, and I put some thrift shop record album covers up on the wall.

And here's the tiki bar, with all the crap cleaned off it:



So here we sit, sipping our champagne and contemplating our next move. There's a lot in the pipeline, I'll tell you.

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I thought I'd done a pretty thorough job of reviewing the current alligator issues facing us. Sure enough, as soon as I sat back and felt satisfied, a new threat emerged. Fortunately, intrepid law enforcement intervened and disaster was averted:

Burglary suspect caught driving with alligator passenger

Yes, that's correct. A police officer stopped a car for driving erratically, and it turned out the driver had just committed a burglary. He had also dragged an alligator out of a ditch and stuffed it into the backseat of his car, where it remained until the officer stopped him. Alcohol was involved.

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So what's going on this week? Well, I'm making some big personal changes to shake this malaise I've been suffering and get back into running shape. I'm a physical disaster. I've been putting off visiting my allergist, I'm prone to wheezing, and I weigh more than I have in years. All this starts to change tomorrow. So that's good. I got a few projects to work on, including some honor guard stuff. Hopefully I won't ruin anyone's Memorial Day like I did last year. I'm working on another corporate training gig that may put some cold cash in my pockets.

And we're only a couple weeks from Pilcrow Litfest. Come on, folks, we're almost there. Someone throw a few dollars their way so I can take that widget off my page. It's slowing things down.

Thanks.

Mmmm...Valentine's Day...meat....