Post your spam random ten

Hot Rod Baby—Rocky Davis

Funguss—Skinny Puppy

You’ve Got Everything Now—The Smiths

Love Me Two Times—The Doors

Goody Two Shoes—Adam Ant

Help Me Somebody—Brian Eno & David Byrne

The Book I Read—Talking Heads

Mary Ann—Lord Invader

Kizmiaz—The Cramps

A Maiden’s Prayer—Willie Nelson

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There, the first part is out of the way. There's today's random ten. No time to install the tunes on the music widget though, got to get moving. Yes sir. Today's the penultimate day of this week's work week, and it's gone fast. Tomorrow is shaping up as a 17 hour day; the first 8 at my regular job and then the rest at what looks like might be a very interesting side job that I probably won't be able to discuss here. I've got another training gig lined up for July, and the house looks like a tree full of monkeys as we plan for our big July 5th shindig.

The heightened vigilance that the discovery of the Chicago River alligator caused will not be short-lived. No. As I said before there have been some scary developments in the conflict known as World War G. I have some important gator stories in the pipeline and I promise I'll get them to you soon.

In the meantime, alert reader Katie Schwartz sent this story my way:

So, a crocodile walks into a bar...

Australians are just as good as American rednecks. What better way to deal with a marauding crocodile than to turn it into a bar mascot?

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Remember a couple weeks ago I suggested posting some random spam on Friday along with your random ten? Consistency is not my strongest virtue, so I didn't do it last week. I forgot, ok? Still, I think it's a worthwhile idea, so here's this week's entry:

I sense the smallness in you, come over to the large side now.
--Jungblut

I don't know about you, but I get kind of unnerved when random spam seems able to sense my insecurity.

Here comes success

My job in Dallas, Texas is done.

The training video I worked on was unveiled today at a meeting of 150 regional loss prevention managers. I did a brief presentation following the film, and answered some questions. The handcuffing presentation was the last one of the day, and afterward all the attendees divided by region and went out to dinner together. Everyone seemed really happy with the training video, and judging from the evaluation forms my presentation went over pretty well.

I sat with a guy from South Carolina, a Chicago transplant who now lives in Tampa, and two women from Louisiana. Like everyone I've ever met from Louisiana, they liked to talk, and they liked to talk about food. I got hungry even as I sat there eating. We had a few beers with dinner and all ended up talking about alligator attacks. It was fascinating doing the compare/contrast between Floridian and Louisianan takes on alligator awareness. It was a splendid evening.

Now I'm back at the fabulous Hyatt Place hotel, which, if I were a regular business traveler, I'd be madly in love with.

They let you bring beer into their internet business center.

Whew...

See that?

That's a clean desk top, complete with a desk blotter that's already had the inked-up, coffee-stained March page torn off. April's page sits there, a tabula rasa, because I won't walk back through those doors until April 6.

Yep. That's my office, the way I left it at 7 pm last night

The last 6 weeks or so have wrecked me. I'm about 15 pounds overweight, the result of too many surveillances, too many schedule changes, too much fast food and too many jibaritos while driving around Chicago looking for the last few pieces of the puzzle that we need to solve our open murder. My skin looks pale and saggy and I'm just getting over a wicked cold. I've only run a couple of lethargic 2 or 3 milers in the last month. The shitty gray weather has suited my mood most of the time.

But things are looking up, now that I'm away from the desk you see pictured above and everything that goes along with it.

I leave for Dallas tonight, shoot a training video tomorrow and then come home Thursday. Hopefully I'll have time to visit the Book Depository and the grassy knoll along the way.

This time next week we'll be eating a big-ass southern breakfast at the Blue & White Restaurant in Tunica, Mississippi, on our way down to New Orleans. I might even have pie after breakfast. When we're back from spring break in New Orleans I head right into my favorite job-related event of the year, the ILEETA conference, where I will shift gears from gorging myself on rich food to gorging myself on law enforcement tactical swag.

Now it's time to get the youngest to school, get a haircut and pack my bags.

See you later, alligators.

For Kirby and Vikkitikkitavi

Behold, the splendor of Anne Archer:



I don't know if it's a scarier thing that Kirby and Vikkitikkitavi both knew Anne Archer appeared in clown makeup in Robert Altman's "Short Cuts" or if I already had a picture of her that way.

Oh well, I'm all about bringing out the best in people.

Crazy couple of weeks folks. I have a lot of material in the pipeline, I just don't know when I'll get to post it. And believe me, I am so sorry for not commenting on your blogs. I visit, believe me, but I just don't gots the time to put together intelligent comments. Sorry 'bout that.

See you soon.

Back to work, you.

Yep. Vacation is over. Time to get back to my real job:



Fighting crime!