Rained out Random Ten

Well, this is a drag. Got all this stuff ready for the big garage sale and it is raining. Not much now, but by noon it's supposed to be thunderstorms. Ah well. There's still Saturday, and maybe Sunday too if we feel like it.

Let's have some music for a rain delay. Here's today's Rained-Out Random Ten:

Goo Goo Muck--The Cramps



Sheena Is A Punk Rocker--The Ramones


The Hardest Button To Button--The White Stripes

Excitable Boy--Warren Zevon



You Really Got Me--Van Halen

Till I Get My Way--The Black Keys

Bone Machine--The Pixies

Dragula--Rob Zombie (I just noticed something 42 seconds into that video that shocked me)

Singapore--Tom Waits

Eighteen--Alice Cooper

Welcome to our clutter

The provocative and entertaining D-Cup recently showed off some of her and Mathman's refrigerator decorations, giving a nifty little glimpse into their family life.

She invited me to do the same:



There you go. Sure, the stainless steel could use a good polishing, but no clutter.

Not much of a glimpse into any kind of a life at all, is it?

Ok...let's see...how's this:

That there is the brain center of the whole household. Yep. Business cards, cell phones, coupons, ink pens, a calender, tickets to Nick Cave at the Riviera, it's all there. Look close and you can even see some political commentary, a gift from Johnny Yen's son:



I feel bad because I can't remember where the Day of the Dead skull magnet came from. MizBubs would know, but she's a decent, hardworking midwesterner so she's asleep right now.

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Let's scoot over a few feet to where the computer is at.

This is approximately 6' east of the brain center. These two points form the AXIS OF MISCELLANY. When this picture was taken I'd been working there, so this is my stuff. The latest Cheaper Than Dirt catalog is there (I was hunting for a gun locker) as well as a book I just finished reading, Keep it Real: Everything You Need to Know About Researching and Writing Creative Nonfiction. Somewhere under there is a set of photocopied mindfulness exercises I'm supposed to be working on that, in yet another moment that proves that the world is driven by irony, I had misplaced for several days. It was lost, but now it's found.

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Hey! I just realized it's Friday now. Time for a pre-dawn Random Ten:

Come To Your Tommy Now—Leonard Clark

Down The Reeperbahn—Tom Waits

All Apologies—Nirvana

I’m Gonna Sit Right Down—Frank Sinatra

Married Man Blues—Jessie Mae Hemphill

Beltane Walk—Mark Bolan

Neighborhood Threat—Iggy Pop

Black Stone Heart—Bauhaus

Today—Jefferson Airplane

It’s a Good Day—Peggy Lee

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I hope it's a good day for you.

Midsummer random ten with spam

I’ll Wear It Proudly—Elvis Costello (shared playlist with MizBubs)

Atrocity Exhibition—Joy Division (eldest's playlist)

Victoria’s Escape—Corpse Bride Soundtrack (youngest's playlist)

First, Last and Always—Sisters of Mercy (eldest again)

D.M.S.R.—Prince (MizBubs or the eldest, I have no idea)

Too Drunk to F*ck—The Dead Kennedys (I have this on vinyl, but the digital belongs to our eldest)

Wango Tango—Ted Nugent (mine)

aa xxx acapella—Peaches (the eldest likes this pottymouth)

I’m Your Man—Leonard Cohen (mine)

Billy Don’t Be a Hero—Paper Lace (MizBubs)

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And now, your weekend helping of random spam:

NASA to use Space Shuttles to Kill Birds

Army Relent On Shooting Live Pigs In Training Exercise - Will Shoot Illegal Immigrants Instead

-senian

Random ten with a side of spam

First the random ten:

Baby Come Back—Pat Cupp & his Flying Saucers

Get Down On It—Kool & the Gang

Andy’s Chest—Lou Reed

1969—The Stooges

Sunday Morning—The Velvet Underground

Teachers and Adrenochrome—The Sisters of Mercy

Haiti—Arcade Fire

Eve Future—The Mekons

Dancing Barefoot—Patti Smith Group

Patricia—Perez Prado

And now for the side of spam:

Alabama girl butchers neighbor with fruit knife, Man gives birth to twins in Minnesota...
-Ehrenberg

Looks like some spambot was reading my blog.

Post your spam random ten

Hot Rod Baby—Rocky Davis

Funguss—Skinny Puppy

You’ve Got Everything Now—The Smiths

Love Me Two Times—The Doors

Goody Two Shoes—Adam Ant

Help Me Somebody—Brian Eno & David Byrne

The Book I Read—Talking Heads

Mary Ann—Lord Invader

Kizmiaz—The Cramps

A Maiden’s Prayer—Willie Nelson

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There, the first part is out of the way. There's today's random ten. No time to install the tunes on the music widget though, got to get moving. Yes sir. Today's the penultimate day of this week's work week, and it's gone fast. Tomorrow is shaping up as a 17 hour day; the first 8 at my regular job and then the rest at what looks like might be a very interesting side job that I probably won't be able to discuss here. I've got another training gig lined up for July, and the house looks like a tree full of monkeys as we plan for our big July 5th shindig.

The heightened vigilance that the discovery of the Chicago River alligator caused will not be short-lived. No. As I said before there have been some scary developments in the conflict known as World War G. I have some important gator stories in the pipeline and I promise I'll get them to you soon.

In the meantime, alert reader Katie Schwartz sent this story my way:

So, a crocodile walks into a bar...

Australians are just as good as American rednecks. What better way to deal with a marauding crocodile than to turn it into a bar mascot?

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Remember a couple weeks ago I suggested posting some random spam on Friday along with your random ten? Consistency is not my strongest virtue, so I didn't do it last week. I forgot, ok? Still, I think it's a worthwhile idea, so here's this week's entry:

I sense the smallness in you, come over to the large side now.
--Jungblut

I don't know about you, but I get kind of unnerved when random spam seems able to sense my insecurity.

Late night, half-ass Random 5

Being the shiftless hillbilly slacker that I am, I procrastinated and put off doing my presentation until the last minute. Friday afternoon I have to do a 7 minute presentation on the brachial stun, one of my favorite techniques. I picked that as a topic because I've done it a bunch of times and know I can fill the time easily. Good thing, too, because I also got distracted by dishing out Las Vegas drinking tips to a friend of mine who's planning a trip there soon.

So...

I really need to be in bed, like now, so instead of a random ten it's a random five this morning. I put them up in the music widget on the right.

Here goes:

Swordfishtrombone -- Tom Waits

Saving All My Love For You -- Tom Waits

Chelsea Hotel #2 -- Leonard Cohen

Hello Operator -- The White Stripes

Inside Me -- Jesus and Mary Chain

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We did make it out to Tiki Terrace Wednesday night, and we were damn near heartbroke to find out we missed Amy Guth. She arrived there a half hour or so before we did, and split shortly thereafter in the face of a capacity crowd.

The brothers did a fine job and the place was full. We may have missed Ms. Guth, but we got there in time to watch a half dozen red hat ladies knock back the rest of their drinks and roll out tipsy. I managed to take just this one photo of the interior, but you can get an idea of the love that went into the place. This is a photo of the stage:



The taro chips were mighty tasty, and they have dropped the ill-conceived spam sushi from the menu. Life moves on.

On Friday, June 27, they're doing an Elvis "Aloha from Hawaii" dinner revue. Tickets are $17.50 and include grub. I think I might need to go see this.

Post your spam Random Ten

Down The Line—Buddy Holly & Bob Montgomery

Bertha Lou—Dorsey Burnette

Trust Us (Take 9)—Captain Beefheart

Because—The Beatles

Get Rhythm—Johnny Cash

Fatback—Link Wray

Blue Moon—Elvis Presley

The Old Main Drag—The Pogues

Armalite Rifle—Gang of Four

What Keeps Mankind Alive—Tom Waits

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I was sitting here with my coffee this morning, having just deposited the youngest at the steps of her school for the last day this summer, trying to think of something to write about.

I got nothing.

So, here's what I propose. In addition to Friday's random ten, why not post a random piece of spam, as a quote, with the quote attributed to its "author". So, without further ado, your Random Spam for today:

"Great things begin with your huge apparatus" --Martinenas

Here's hoping that you and your apparatus enjoy the weekend.

Very first thing in the morning Random Ten

Diddle My Skittle—Peaches

Give My Love to Rose—Johnny Cash

Paradise Place—Siouxsie and the Banshees

You’re a Heartbreaker—Elvis Presley

Perol—Tropical Orchestra of Trinidad

Pretty Boy Floyd—Woody Guthrie

The Chase—Chaino

Road to Ruin—The Libertines

Let the Jukebox Keep on Playing—Carl Perkins

Mamma Mia—Abba

Groggy random ten

Good morning. I'm happily exhausted from my night out. For now, here's the random ten this morning. The list is heavy on music from my eldest:

Words of Advice—William S. Burroughs

Flower Pot—Captain Beefheart

Something About England—The Clash

I Am Forever—Rancid

Cat Man—Gene Vincent

Valentine #1—The Sisters of Mercy

Cry Baby Cry—Narvel Felts

Ayami—West African Rhythm Brothers

Cascade—Siouxsie and the Banshees

Ziggy Stardust—David Bowie

Another couple cups of coffee and it's back to the pile.

Random Ten

Dixieland Rock—Elvis Presley

Bloodshot—The String Kings

Ne m’ecris pas—Edith Piaf

Overpowered By Funk—The Clash

Army Ants—Tom Waits

Christine—Siouxsie and the Banshees

Two Step a Erby—The Thibodeaux Boys

Hearse Driver—Os Catalepticos

Guilty—Yann Tiersen

Who Are the Brain Police?—Frank Zappa & the Mothers of Invention

Here's a clip of Elvis performing "Dixieland Rock". It's from the movie "King Creole", a delicious gumbo featuring Elvis as the delinquent with great pipes, Walter Matthau as the evil club owner, and Carolyn Jones as the bad girl with a heart of gold. It's set in New Orleans. Notwithstanding Margarita Fridays, I can't think of a better way to start the weekend.

Friday Random Ten

We can't abandon Johnny Yen and leave him as one of the last Friday Random Ten practitioners. No sir.

Here's my random ten for today:

Race Track Boogie—Renaud Veluzat

Mr. Block—Utah Phillips

Save Us—John Cale

Ballrooms of Mars—T. Rex

Round & Round & Round—The Cure

Uncle Jo’ Gimme Mo!—Gerald Clark’s Lere String Band

Honky Tonk Mind—Johnny Horton

Little Acorns—The White Stripes

Rock The Universe—Del Vaughn

Wake Up—The Arcade Fire

I got tired of the music I had up in the widget. I've been feeling pretty good, and I wanted some happy tunes. I asked the girls for some help. I asked each of them to give me a song or two that made them happy lately. Here's what I got:

The Birds and the Bees--Patrick and Eugene (Our youngest)

Birdhouse in Your Soul--They Might Be Giants (MizBubs)

Here Comes Your Man--The Pixies (Our eldest)

The 59th Street Bridge Song--Simon & Garfunkel (MizBubs)

Don't Worry About the Government--Talking Heads (me)

Help Yourself--Tom Jones (me)

Give 'em a listen, and I hope they make you happy too.

Half the effort, twice the fun

Aloha!

I've really taken to this new Random Five format for Fridays.

This week I drew my random tunes from my lounge playlist--which now stands at 13.8 hours of swanky tunes to mix cocktails by. It's Friday, so let's swing a little:

• Miserlou/Quien Sera--Rick Perito
• Blossom's Blues--Blossom Dearie
• Jungle Madness--Martin Denny
• Sunny Side of the Street--Keely Smith
• Wrap Your Troubles in Dreams--Frank Sinatra

I was pleased, really, at how surprisingly upbeat and happy-making these tunes are. A nice way to end the week.

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Speaking of swanky, I just found out that Chicago is hosting an upcoming burlesque festival: Angela Eve's Twisted Tassel Burlesque Festival! There are events running from February 26 through March 27 at the Admiral Theater and the Debonair Social Club. Go check out the link for more details. As if cool music and beautiful women idn't enough, some of the proceeds will be donated to Make It Right NOLA, a charity dedicated to rebuilding the 9th Ward.

Random 5

Yes, it's early and there's lots to get done, so I only had the time and attention span to do an early random 5 this week. The tunes are up on the right:

It's Martini Time—Reverend Horton Heat

I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself—Dusty Springfield

Cornfed Dames—The Cramps

Dixie Fried—Carl Perkins

Do the Clam—Elvis Presley

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Good news on the job front. I just had a proposal accepted for my first side job of 2008. What's the deal? I'm going to work on the company's handcuffing policy for their loss prevention agents, consult on a script for a training video, and then provide some hands-on training. They haven't decided whether I'm going to actually appear in the video myself. I have a lot of reading and writing to do in the next few days, so I won't be around much.

It's sure nice to have some work fall my way, though. I'm so happy I feel like doing the Clam:

Fun with widgets random ten

I've always really admired folks like Beth, Dale and Splotchy who do cool things with their blogs, letting us hear their favorite music (and even, sometimes, the dulcet tones of their voices) when we visit.

I'm going to try something like that this morning. I've loaded my Friday Random Ten into the little widget you see to the right, so listen away. Here's what's playing:

'Deed I Do—Blossom Dearie

Eat My Words—Marti Brom

Across the Universe—The Beatles

Excitable Boy—Warren Zevon

Die, All Right—The Hives

Tombstone Blues—Bob Dylan

Raunchy—Bill Justis

Goin' Back to the Bridge—Asie Payton

Man Ray—The Futureheads

Honky Tonkin—Hank Williams

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As an added weekend bonus I'm going to throw in a recipe. This makes an excellent side dish or savory brunch item. What I did was take the basic bread pudding recipe from the Gumbo Shop in New Orleans, add an extra egg and some goat cheese, and substitute a couple of ingredients.

Savory Bread Pudding


1/4 cup of butter
3 cups of milk
1 loaf of french bread, a day or two old, cut into 1 inch cubes
4 large eggs, beaten
1 pound fresh spinach
1 tablespoon minced garlic
salt and pepper to taste
1/2 cup of sun-dried tomatoes, chopped (Costco has them in a nice 18 oz bag)
4-6 oz of crumbled goat cheese

• Saute the spinach with garlic, season with salt and pepper. Drain well, getting rid of as much excess liquid as possible
  
• Combine the milk and butter, heat in a microwave until the butter melts
• Pour milk/butter mixture over the bread crumbs in a large mixing bowl, let stand about 10 minutes so the bread soaks up plenty of milk
  
• Stir in the sun-dried tomatoes
• Stir in the spinach
• Stir in the beaten eggs
• Pour this mess into a greased baking dish or casserole and bake at 350 degrees for about 40 minutes.

I hope everyone enjoys the weekend. For me, this is like my Wednesday--I'm in my third day of my six-day work week. At least I can sense a delicious cocktail in my future this weekend...

muzak-free Friday random ten

I was driving in to work, stopped at a traffic light, and I got the strangest feeling. A sense that I was becoming kind of foggy-headed, almost sleepy, even though it was 8:00 in the morning. Then I looked to my right and saw the source of my growing torpor--it was the muzak van.

Resigned to my fate, I took a picture with my cellphone so that whoever found my body would know what had happened.

Then, lucky for me, the light changed and the guy behind me honked his horn. I snapped out of it and started moving, relieved to see that the driver of the muzak van wasn't wearing clown makeup, and I continued in to work. I enjoyed a muzak-free day from that point on, blissful in the total absence of what the muzak folks call "audio architecture".

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Here's the random ten:

Welcome to the Working Week—Elvis Costello

Bizarre Love Triangle—New Order

Foggy Notion—The Velvet Underground

You Know What You Are—Nine Inch Nails

Heroes—David Bowie

Whistle Bait—The Collins Kids

Country Darkness—Elvis Costello & The Imposters

Momma—Rasputina

God In An Alcove—Bauhaus

Dope Hat—Marilyn Manson

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I saw a cool little meme over at I, Splotchy. I've since seen more cool entries by Samurai Frog, Hot Lemon, Dr. Zaius and everyone's favorite mountaineering hockey ho, GKL, who scored a meme-killing hat trick.

Here's how it works, courtesy of Splotchy:

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

You then take the pic and add your band name and the album title to it, then post your pic.

So here's the hot little pop combo I'm promoting; they've got kind of an upbeat, Afro-pop vaudeville death-metal thing going:

New Year Random Ten , looking back at 2007

Let's start with my first random ten of the new year. One of my resolutions this year is to learn some mad computer skillz so I can actually post music samples and not just these crappy song titles. But for now, crappy song titles is all you're getting:

Why Can't You Be Nicer To Me?--The White Stripes

Sal's Got a Sugarlip—Johnny Horton

Break On Through—The Doors

Terror Couple Kill Colonel—Bauhaus

No Time To Cry—The Sisters of Mercy

One Way Ticket—Bobby Lumpkin & the Kapers

The Pontiac—Tom Waits

You're Gone But I'm Left—Tyrone Schmidling

My Love is a Flower—Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers

Cypress Grove—Tav Falco

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Now on to other matters.

I tried this out last year after stealing the idea from my sister-in-law Kate.

Here’s how it works:

You take the first couple of lines from the first and last post for each month. You can edit as much as you want. Or you can just invent stuff that you never posted in the first place. And then you have it, your blog year in review.

2007

The Year in Review

January: Experts say all signs point to a massive attack by man-eating sharks some time in the new year.

Ever get stuck next to someone on a train, bus or airplane, and that person just really bugs you? Thanks to the wonders of forwarded email, here's a way of dealing with them.

February: Lulu recently posted a YouTube clip that purports to be the worst video ever. I won't dispute that claim.

Pissed off or depressed? I haven't decided which just yet.

March: DHL Import Express: One Invoice, One Currency, One Company, One Liver and Part of a Human Head.

I was looking through my clown collection for something disturbing to kick off the weekend. This is what I came up with:

April: I've been tagged by both Katie Schwartz and Johnny Yen, and if it's rude to ignore a tag, how rude would it be to ignore two? I had no choice but to comply:

Ask any of my close friends or family and they will tell you I am a model of rectitude and decorum, and would not normally even say the proper term for the female pudenda. But now that's changed.

May: Be proud, fellow midwesterners: it all started here in Chicago on May 1, 1886. The start of the 8-hour day movement...

There are three freaks this week. Let's have a little contest, shall we?

June: Here's a few tips if you're thinking about committing a robbery:

1) Don't get drunk before you commit your robbery

That's the nice thing about the Random Ten--it requires nothing but the push of the "shuffle" button and a little copying and pasting.

July: I had a bright idea the other day (at least I thought it was bright at the time, we'll see how it works out) of starting a blog to post pictures and descriptions of stuff I want to get rid of.

Sometimes I think about how my job has changed me. We all change over time, no doubt about it. After almost 19 years of doing the same job it gets hard to tell if the changes you see in yourself are a result of time, or a result of how you’ve been living your life.

August: Yes indeedy, it's Weenie-Waver Wednesday!

Today's story works on so many levels. It's got:

-Drugs
-Booze
-Driving while (partly) naked
-Christian radio personalities

I know you're all expecting to see another sex fiend for Weenie Waver Wednesday.

September: This man was, without a doubt, the best of all of us. There were no signs of depression that we could see, and he was literally the last person any of us would have thought to be at risk.

Beckeye and Coaster Punchman have sent me off on an 80's nostalgia trip. There are worse things.

October: Can't afford that Standing Rib Roast for the holidays? Here's an entree with all the panache, at a fraction of the price! Yes, it's a Wiener Tiara Bake

My friend Dena sent this, and I think it's a swell last minute costume idea: Make your own Christopher Walken mask.

November: It's hard to say goodbye to Halloween. Once again I'm having that post-Halloween letdown.

I just finished my last training run, a quick 3 miler. The starting temperature was 29, and what kind of Chicagoan would I be if I didn't throw in the wind chill factor, huh? That made it feel like 19.

December: A journey of 13.1 miles starts with a single step.

"I drink it when I'm happy and when I'm sad. Sometimes I drink it when I'm alone. When I have company I consider it obligatory. I trifle with it if I'm not hungry and drink it when I am. Otherwise I never touch it. Unless I'm thirsty."

Came in late Friday Random Ten

Because the night ended with having to drag an ugly naked man off the toilet, and yet another exposure to hepatitis C. And it wasn't even the right guy. So after washing my hands up to my elbows for a half hour or so, it was time to go out for a drink after work.

Home of the Blues—Johnny Cash

Domino—The Cramps

Ball and Chain—Social Distortion

Downtown—Tom Waits

Alone and Blue—Little Milton

Detroit City—Tom Jones

Jungle Hop—The Cramps

Whip It—Devo

Ace of Spades—Link Wray

I Need Your Lovin' Kiss—Harold Jenkins

HOLY CRAP IT'S FRIDAY

When I realized it's the weekend already, and only 11 days to Christmas, I felt a lot like the kid in this picture.

HAY SUP indeed.

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You know, it seems like as good a time as any to get back into posting Friday Random Ten selections. So, here's mine for today:

Peace In The Valley—Elvis Presley

Bonaparte's Retreat—Willie Nelson

Rockin' & Rollin'—Curley Langley & His Western Allstars

Saving All My Love For You—Tom Waits

On The Road—Tom Waits

This Year's Girl—Elvis Costello & The Attractions

Done You Wrong—Danny Mote

Sleeping In—The Postal Service

Crawdad Song—Hal Moore

Swamp Fire—Martin Denny

I love this. The first song, appropriately enough, is from Elvis, and it's one of my favorite gospel tunes of his. Johnny Cash and June Carter do an awesome version too, but I think I lean toward Elvis'. Nice to hear at this time of year.

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Finally, a question for all my Canadian readers.

Do all Canadian cops assume cool names when they join the police service? Are the names assigned to them by the department, or do you have to have a cool name to begin with before you even apply for the job?

I saw this quote from an article about the Royal Canadian Mounted Police arresting some middle school students for bullying (!?)

"In general, if there is an alternative solution to judicial action available we'll exercise that," said Sgt. Law Power. "But in this particular case arresting these males was in the best interest of the victim and the school."

I was just wondering, is all.

Friday Random Ten

You Belong To My Heart—Million Dollar Quartet

Right & Ready—Clyde Owens

9^th & Hennepin—Tom Waits

Ziggy Stardust—Bauhaus

I Close My Eyes and Count To Ten—Dusty Springfield

Sisko's Blues—Slavic Soul Party

Take It Or Leave It—The Strokes

Rock N Roll Disgrace—Sweet

Very, Very Hungry—Brian Eno & David Byrne

Big Boys (demo version) Elvis Costello

Toilet Snake Random Ten

This toilet snake story is courtesy of the inquisitive and persistent MizBubs. Believe me, this narcozoologist is indeed lucky to have such a plucky girl Friday.

I'm not talking about the kind of "toilet snake" that you use to clear a clogged toilet. Nope.

I'm talking about the kind of toilet snake that jumps up out of the bowl, hissing, to bite you on the keyster in the wee hours of the morning. Like the 7 foot python pictured at right.

That's a picture of the python that Brooklyn resident Nadege Brunacci found when she went to use her toilet in the early morning hours.

It took plumbers and the NYFD to cut the snake out of the plumbing once they arrived. Additional investigation revealed that the snake had reportedly been seen slithering around the basement of the apartment building a few days before this event.

So, how does this happen? One theory is that the snake was attracted by the glittering gold coins embedded in Ms. Brunacci's toilet seat:

Another theory is that New Yorkers, terrorized for decades by rumors of huge albino alligators lurking in their sewers, have decided to fight back by deploying pythons into the sewer system. Much in the same way that pythons are now on the rampage against alligators in the Everglades.

As strong as the urge is to fight fire with fire, we must not fight reptile with reptile! In the words of Friedrich Nietzche:

Whoever fights reptiles should see to it that in the process he does not become a reptile. And if you gaze long enough into the dark lizard brain, the dark lizard brain will gaze back into you.

Good words to live by if you ask me.

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And now on to today's random ten:

Outlaw Blues—Bob Dylan

She Came In Through The Bathroom Window—The Beatles

(actually, the sex of the python is unknown, and it came in through the bathroom plumbing)

Sassafras Roots—Green Day

Who Threw The Whiskey In the Well—Wynonie Harris

Will You Be Loving Another Man—Bill Monroe

Rocking Little Eskimo—Bobby Swanson & His Sonics

Rip It Up—Elvis Presley

Machine Gun—The Riptides

Mambo Jambo—Perez Prado

Good Thing—Fine Young Cannibals