50,000 COMPOUND FANS CAN'T BE WRONG

A big howdy and thank you to the unknown Swiss animal attack fan who was visitor number 50,000 to this little corner of the interwebs. Our unknown Swiss visitor was evidently drawn here by the angry leopard, but stayed for the severed human hand in a crocodile's mouth.

And a big and hearty thank you to each and every one of you who've bothered to stop by and read a little something in the last 2 years. I'm glad you did.

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Domain Name		bluewin.ch ? (Switzerland)
IP Address		85.0.157.# (Bluewin)
ISP		Swisscom Fixnet AG
Location		Continent : Europe Country : Switzerland (Facts) State/Region : Aargau City : Wohlen Lat/Long : 47.3667, 8.2833 (Map)
Language		German (Switzerland) de-ch
Operating System		Microsoft WinXP
Browser		Internet Explorer 6.0 Mozilla/4.0 (compatible; MSIE 6.0; Windows NT 5.1; SV1; .NET CLR 1.1.4322)
Javascript		version 1.3
Monitor		Resolution : 1280 x 1024 Color Depth : 32 bits
Time of Visit		Sep 13 2008 10:32:30 am
Last Page View		Sep 13 2008 10:32:53 am
Visit Length		23 seconds
Page Views		2
Referring URL		http://images.google...hNyeJ6UtNPJskzDCChbQ
Visit Entry Page		http://sprawlingrams...e-angry-leopard.html
Visit Exit Page		http://sprawlingrams...-that-croc-hand.html
Out Click
Time Zone		UTC+1:00
Visitor's Time		Sep 13 2008 5:32:30 pm
Visit Number		50,000

Breaking the meme backlog

I have been a poor blog citizen these past few weeks. Not visiting your blogs, not commenting, posting lame-ass clown pictures for want of anything original to talk about. Compulsively saving news items and not posting them.

One of the results of this poor citizenship is that I am faced with a backlog of stimulating memes which I've been meaning to attend to, but have not. Until now.

Let's get started. I'll begin with the oldest tag first.

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First up is a punchy little meme from Franiam. I felt really bad about not responding to this because I just recently discovered Ms. Fran's blog and felt flattered that she had tagged me.

Rule 1) List three reasons for your blogging.

• My kids suggested it as a way to keep busy while I was recovering from a surgery.
• I am naturally blabberous.
• I like introducing people to things they might not normally encounter, and I like having the same done to me.
  

Rule 2) List the rules.

• Done
  

Rule 3) Tag three others with the thread.

• I will keep this one in the family: I tag Splotchy, Penny Pigtails and Dystopia.

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Next up is this name-based meme from Write Procrastinator. It's been rocketing around the interwebs and now it's landed here:

1. You have to post the rules before you give your answers.
   
2. You must list one fact about yourself beginning with each letter of your middle name. If you don't have a middle name, use your mother's maiden name, or your maiden name.
3. At the end of your post, tag one person for each letter of your middle name. Or don't.

S Sarcastic. When I asked for help from MizBubs, this was the first thing out of her mouth. I suggested that "swell" or "swanky" might have been a better choice, and she responded "well, yes, you would." She has a point, unfortunately, and I am more sarcastic with my family than I am out in the world. I'm working on it.

K Unfortunately cantankerous is not spelled with a K. Let's see...I like a well made knife, and I own three made by Ka-Bar.

I Interested. I'm interested in a lot of stuff--I consume a lot of news, I pick out a few books a year on topics I know nothing about, I love talking to people and hearing their stories. I'm also inquisitive, and I think it's made me a decent interviewer and interrogator at work. My kids are less thrilled with my interrogation skills.

L Loquacious. I'll talk your damn leg off.

E Egomaniacal. The very fact that I have this blog and am doing this meme is proof of that. I asked MizBubs if I should put down "eccentric" instead and she just laughed.

S OK, this time I am going to say swanky. I am pretty damn swanky when I want to be. I like to have as much swank as possible, in the form of swanky music, swanky food and swanky cocktails. And I like taking swanky vacations when possible.

I think nearly everyone I know has done this one already. But if you haven't, consider yourself tagged.

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Most recently I got a t-shirt tag from another fairly new blogpal, Mathman. Here are the rules:

1. Link back to the original post.
2. Describe two t-shirts that you own.
3. If you design your own vanity t-shirt what would it say?
4. Where would you wear your vanity t-shirt?
5. Tag three of your best blogging buds.

I'm going to go above and beyond and describe not two, but three shirts that I have, with pictures!

This is my favorite, from the Happiest Place on Earth--The Double Down Saloon in fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada:

My eldest got me this next one:

And finally, another favorite. I got a great response when I wore this one at last year's ILEETA conference:


Up until now I've never given any thought to the idea of having a vanity tee shirt. And now I can't think of anything. Sorry. Maybe a catchy slogan like "Show us your guns, America!" Or maybe a clever promotional tee shirt that says "Ask me about Narcozoology".

I think I shall tag Johnny Yen, Doctor Monkey Von Monkerstein, and Samurai Frog.

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Wow. I feel like a new man, like someone who's just taken advantage of a library amnesty and returned all his overdue books. Thanks for stopping by!

Making a few changes...sprucing the place up

Well, I'm sure by now you've noticed the new look here at Sprawling Ramshackle Compound. No, I haven't turned this place into the Eldon Dedini swankyville you see pictured to the right. Yet.

My youngest, whose blog is now linked as Penny Pigtails, sat down today and decided this place needed a makeover. I think she did a swell job. My favorite thing is the music widget; from time to time I'll throw in whatever pops up on the iTunes so you can have the Sound de Compound each time you visit.

That picture at the top of the page was taken by yours truly on a swamp tour in Louisiana a few years ago. Ms. Pigtails graciously photo-shopped a Gadsden flag over the Confederate battle flag that appeared in the original snapshot. The owner was wont to roll onto the porch and fire shotgun blasts over the heads of tourists, so I was told. I never got to meet him.

New Year Random Ten , looking back at 2007

Let's start with my first random ten of the new year. One of my resolutions this year is to learn some mad computer skillz so I can actually post music samples and not just these crappy song titles. But for now, crappy song titles is all you're getting:

Why Can't You Be Nicer To Me?--The White Stripes

Sal's Got a Sugarlip—Johnny Horton

Break On Through—The Doors

Terror Couple Kill Colonel—Bauhaus

No Time To Cry—The Sisters of Mercy

One Way Ticket—Bobby Lumpkin & the Kapers

The Pontiac—Tom Waits

You're Gone But I'm Left—Tyrone Schmidling

My Love is a Flower—Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers

Cypress Grove—Tav Falco

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Now on to other matters.

I tried this out last year after stealing the idea from my sister-in-law Kate.

Here’s how it works:

You take the first couple of lines from the first and last post for each month. You can edit as much as you want. Or you can just invent stuff that you never posted in the first place. And then you have it, your blog year in review.

2007

The Year in Review

January: Experts say all signs point to a massive attack by man-eating sharks some time in the new year.

Ever get stuck next to someone on a train, bus or airplane, and that person just really bugs you? Thanks to the wonders of forwarded email, here's a way of dealing with them.

February: Lulu recently posted a YouTube clip that purports to be the worst video ever. I won't dispute that claim.

Pissed off or depressed? I haven't decided which just yet.

March: DHL Import Express: One Invoice, One Currency, One Company, One Liver and Part of a Human Head.

I was looking through my clown collection for something disturbing to kick off the weekend. This is what I came up with:

April: I've been tagged by both Katie Schwartz and Johnny Yen, and if it's rude to ignore a tag, how rude would it be to ignore two? I had no choice but to comply:

Ask any of my close friends or family and they will tell you I am a model of rectitude and decorum, and would not normally even say the proper term for the female pudenda. But now that's changed.

May: Be proud, fellow midwesterners: it all started here in Chicago on May 1, 1886. The start of the 8-hour day movement...

There are three freaks this week. Let's have a little contest, shall we?

June: Here's a few tips if you're thinking about committing a robbery:

1) Don't get drunk before you commit your robbery

That's the nice thing about the Random Ten--it requires nothing but the push of the "shuffle" button and a little copying and pasting.

July: I had a bright idea the other day (at least I thought it was bright at the time, we'll see how it works out) of starting a blog to post pictures and descriptions of stuff I want to get rid of.

Sometimes I think about how my job has changed me. We all change over time, no doubt about it. After almost 19 years of doing the same job it gets hard to tell if the changes you see in yourself are a result of time, or a result of how you’ve been living your life.

August: Yes indeedy, it's Weenie-Waver Wednesday!

Today's story works on so many levels. It's got:

-Drugs
-Booze
-Driving while (partly) naked
-Christian radio personalities

I know you're all expecting to see another sex fiend for Weenie Waver Wednesday.

September: This man was, without a doubt, the best of all of us. There were no signs of depression that we could see, and he was literally the last person any of us would have thought to be at risk.

Beckeye and Coaster Punchman have sent me off on an 80's nostalgia trip. There are worse things.

October: Can't afford that Standing Rib Roast for the holidays? Here's an entree with all the panache, at a fraction of the price! Yes, it's a Wiener Tiara Bake

My friend Dena sent this, and I think it's a swell last minute costume idea: Make your own Christopher Walken mask.

November: It's hard to say goodbye to Halloween. Once again I'm having that post-Halloween letdown.

I just finished my last training run, a quick 3 miler. The starting temperature was 29, and what kind of Chicagoan would I be if I didn't throw in the wind chill factor, huh? That made it feel like 19.

December: A journey of 13.1 miles starts with a single step.

"I drink it when I'm happy and when I'm sad. Sometimes I drink it when I'm alone. When I have company I consider it obligatory. I trifle with it if I'm not hungry and drink it when I am. Otherwise I never touch it. Unless I'm thirsty."

I am not a farker

Now that I know what a farker is, I can say that I am not one.

A recent comment from Melinda June threw me into a state of bemusement. I wasn't sure if she was calling me a f*cker in some charming British way, or what. My eldest, still high on the triumph of having passed her driving exam and gotten her first driver's license, suggested I try looking it up at urbandictionary.com. And that's how I found out about fark.com.

I must say, I view the idea of pulling stories off fark as, well, cheating. I prefer a more old-fashioned and labor intensive method of bullshit retrieval, usually starting by googling terms like "freak," "creepy," "animal attack," "naked," etc. Then there's always Rotten and The Smoking Gun, as well as the offbeat CNN page and Yahoo weird news. Law enforcement websites Officer.com and PoliceOne.com are also pretty good sources for loser stories. If I see it on one of the cop sites, I search for the original source stories.

Some of my favorite stories, like the woman who attacked someone with a dead chihuahua, or the divorced parents engaged in an ugly, ugly fight over their son's circumcision, I found after seeing or hearing about them in local media. I also have an extensive network of informants, with important branch offices in Iowa and Florida (Florida or Germany, anyone?)

It's just that I have a natural attraction to, and ability to find, offbeat stuff from the eccentric to the horrifying. That's probably part of what drew me into law enforcement: front row tickets to a non-stop freakshow, in which I'd occasionally get to play a lead part.