And now, something for the ladies

Ladies, because the world is full of guys like Bill from that last movie, you might find yourself in the occasional dating slump. This film offers valuable advice:

"Grooming, and cleanliness, and letting the boys know you're around are all important."

Spend some time with Kay as she gets busy making friends with everyone.

Social Courtesy

Unfortunately for Bill the Internet is still 40+ years away, so he has to keep going to these parties and being nice to people instead of running a blog, digging up obscure film clips while in his pajamas.

Surly bastard.

Happy Birthday, SPAM!

On July 5, 1937, the wonder of modern food product technology that is SPAM first appeared in American markets. Originally known as Hormel Spiced Ham, creative genius Kenneth Daigneau came up with the name "SPAM" and won $100 for his efforts.

DID YOU KNOW THAT:

• Spammy the Pig, the company mascot, appeared on the Burns and Allen Show?
• Margaret Thatcher described SPAM as a "wartime delicacy"?
• Haile Selassi I, founder of Rastafarianism, visited the SPAM plant in 1954?

I gotta say I loved SPAM as a kid. One of my favorite treats was a fried SPAM sandwich on white bread. I loved SPAM and eggs, too. No Boy Scout camping trip was complete without at least one can of SPAM. Years later, when my kids were young, I bought some SPAM after telling them how much I'd enjoyed it as a boy. And you know what?

It sucked.

A couple months ago we tried SPAM again, this time in the company of Johnny Yen, Lulu and Tenacious S. We were several zombies into an evening at Tiki Terrace, and I got the bright idea of ordering some SPAM sushi. Yes I did. Evidently SPAM is mighty popular in the Hawaiian islands. While it didn't suck, I haven't had a hankerin' for SPAM sushi either. I hope my drinking companions have forgiven me.

I hated 1980

I got tagged by Johnny Yen, who asked a few of us to pick 5 songs from the year we turned 18 and get nostalgic over them.

The starting point for this exercise is a site called Pop Culture Madness.

Anyway, here are my five songs from 1980, and my nostalgic thoughts on each:

1) Escape (The Pina Colada Song) - Rupert Holmes
I hated this song. I hated everything about pop music in 1980. That's why I dressed funny and listened to punk rock.

2) Do That To Me One More Time - Captain & Tennille
I hated this song. I hated everything about pop music in 1980. That's why I dressed funny and listened to punk rock.

3) Sailing - Christopher Cross
I hated this song. I hated everything about pop music in 1980. That's why I dressed funny and listened to punk rock.

4) It's Still Rock and Roll to Me - Billy Joel
I hated this song. I hated everything about pop music in 1980. That's why I dressed funny and listened to punk rock. Where the fuck did Billy Joel get off even uttering the words "new wave"?

5) Funkytown - Lipps Inc.
I hated this song. I hated everything about pop music in 1980. That's why I dressed funny and listened to punk rock. At least I get to enjoy this song now, in an ironic way, after buying it as part of a compilation that I got for $6.99 at Target.

Anyone who wants to relive their glory days, consider yourself tagged.

Why do they all use Spry?

HERE'S WHY THEY ALL USE SPRY!


"It's marvelous. It creams so easily."


"Foods fried in Spry are as digestible as if baked or boiled."


"Spry is so white. I just know it's purer."



Valued readers like Dino, aka Katy, want to know about miracle product Spry Pure Vegetable Shortening. So, putting aside the fact that I get oddly and inappropriately excited when talking about fat and deep frying, here it is, in all its white whipped oleaginous glory.

Back at Thanksgiving we visited a few antique shops in Marion, Iowa, and I picked up a few old cookbooks. Not regular cookbooks, the little pamphlets put together by food companies, books like Medley of Meat Recipes from the American Meat Institute. Lucky me--I buy a few old pamphlets, and then, a few weeks later, I get some neat presents from my mother-in-law: some modern home magazines from the 50's and 60's, and a guide to building the "modern vacation home" from Popular Science. Anyway, one of the pamphlets I got was from Spry. Imagine a 48 page cookbook in which every single recipe calls for vegetable shortening. I love it.

Spry was a vegetable shortening (like Crisco) made by Lever Brothers. They had a spokeswoman known as Aunt Jenny, who hawked the product from the 1930's through the 1950's. You can see for yourself why Spry is the superior shortening here and here.

There are plenty of good recipes in here, but my real find was the newspaper clipping hidden inside. Click here for this delicious recipe for pineapple and carrot salad, circa 1940.


F*ck you Rachel Ray.

Let's Make a Sandwich!

"Part of the trick to entertaining unexpected guests, is keeping on hand certain generally useful foods. One of these is cheese of an easy melting type...Mother is a great believer in the aesthetic value of parsley..."

Implosions, rubble piles and progress

This is a picture of what's left of the Stardust, one day after the implosion. You can see the little slice of white trash hell on earth that is Circus Circus in the background.

See the McDonalds in the upper right corner? Part of the vacant lot next to that is the site of the former Westward Ho, home of the 99 cent, 3/4 pound MEGA DOG, the 99 cent margarita, and a 5 cent cup of coffee. In addition to being the place in Las Vegas that I've most often been mistaken for security, it was the scene of the first badly-rendered version of George Harrison's "Something" experienced by me and MizBubs. Ultimately we would experience many, many badly-rendered versions of "Something", but none was as magical as that first time at the Ho. Oh, yeah--it was sung by an Elvis impersonator who was partly out of uniform.

I got the picture of the rubble pile from Vegas Today and Tomorrow. If you click on this page you can see all the new projects either proposed or under construction. There are plans for a new Maxim casino, a Harrods-themed casino, and expansions of the Tropicana and Caesars Palace. The mind reels.

I've started going through my Las Vegas files again. I have a bidness trip planned in May, and the nerves are starting. Slowly, but surely--I'll be in full twitch by late April. There are new places I have to find out about, and sadly there are places I've had to scratch off my list because they no longer exist: the million dollar horseshoe at Binions, the Sky Lounge at the top of Polo Towers, the tragically short-lived Taboo Cove at the Venetian. I could go on, and if you get a few drinks in me I will.

I'll sign off with a little video clip, because if there's one thing we love at the compound, it's fireworks: