Friday, December 22, 2006

Christmas: BRING IT ON!


Yeah baby...

There is nothing planned for the next two days, all I gots to do now is wrap some presents and do some baking. Maybe a run to Binny's on Saturday morning, after Woodfield. I'm thinking of doing something goofy--like heading out to Woodfield for some aimless last-minute shopping. They open at 7 am tomorrow.

In the meantime, enjoy this little video set to one of my favorite Christmas tunes: "The Merriest." I'd lie and tell you this was taken from my family's old home movies, but no one in it is holding a drink or an Erik cigarette.

The YouTube user has disabled the embed feature, so to watch it you'll have to click this here link. It's worth the trip.

Pain pills + nudity=Chrismas fun!


This story comes from Dena, the Compound's south side bureau chief. I'll give you my favorite quote from the story:

...Brewer didn’t know who he was, where his clothes were or how he’d gotten to Damascus.

“I’m standing here with this naked man handcuffed and then here comes Santa Claus,” Richardson said. “I said, ‘Can it get any better than this?’ ”


I'm not sure that it can.

How many shopping days?


Three. Which is plenty of time to shop, but no time at all to send Christmas cards if you haven't already. So, let me take this opportunity to thank everyone who sent us a Christmas card this year. I love them all, and I appreciate the gesture. But I just can't get it together to send all those cards out. I'm just one of those assholes who can't even manage the common courtesy of a holiday greeting card. I'm sorry.


This is the third or fourth year that we really haven't sent out cards. Each year I make lists, and plans, to get them all out the first week after Thanksgiving. I even bought a roll of stamps at Costco. And then I sit down, and before I address even a single envelope, I am overwhelmed, paralyzed even, by the knowledge of how they'll all end up: displayed, briefly, on a door or shelf, and then into the trash. Since we don't use the Christmas card as a forum to send out a family newsletter, or charming pictures of our small children (now 14 and 17 and not so eager to dress in goofy seasonal costumes), it just seems pointless. So instead, I drink, which I'm doing now. And bake, and cook. I'm good at that stuff. And I'm a good host, and I love having guests, and I always bring a bottle of something good to a party, or a nice dish to a potluck. And I like giving presents. Just please, for the love of God, don't ask me to send cards. At that, I suck.

Anyway, here's what's on the hi-fi:

I Ran (So Far Away) – Flock of Seagulls

Watch Her Disappear – Tom Waits

Rawhide – Link Wray

Lagos Mambo – West African Rhythm Brothers

Charge It – Playboys

Kuk – The Trashmen

In the Name of Love – Thompson Twins

Hot Cha – They Might Be Giants

With Plenty of Money and You – Tony Bennett

Uranium Rock – Warren Smith

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Mmmmm...holiday sweets


I have just had a very, very tasty finish to my meal.

Last Friday I ordered some sweets from Uniquely Yours Pastry Shoppe. I had run across her blog Jintrinsique Unplugged a while ago, and saw a few people talk about her baked goods. Well, let me tell you, they are delicious.

We ordered some black pearl truffles, and some pecan tassies. When the package arrived today, Jin graciously included a lagniappe: a sample of two petits four, which MizBubs immediately declared, upon tasting, to be the best petits four she'd ever had. So there.

The pecan tassies were buttery, flaky little pecan pie tarts that just melt away on the palate. They are pleasantly lighter and less dense than I'd pictured them when I ordered. The black pearl truffles were exceptional--both daughters went silent, eyes wide, and made contented little mewing sounds upon eating them. The contrast between the toasted sesame seeds and dark chocolate shell, and the soft rich center, is really wonderful. It dances on the tongue.

Ahh, the sweets of Christmas. Only a few more days to go. I'm gonna fatten up reeeaal good.

2006: The Year In Review

I got this idea from my sister-in-law Kate, and I tweaked it a little. Here’s how it works:

You take the first couple of lines from the first and last post for each month. Feel free to edit stuff out, or add stuff that wasn’t there in the first place, to make for more entertaining reading. Run them all together chronologically and you have your year in review, all in a neat little package. Go ahead. Try it for yourself. Reduce all of the last 12 months to a few random lines of print.

So, without further ado, here’s my 100% accurate, mostly complete, totally concise

YEAR IN REVIEW

May: I'm finally going to follow my kids' examples and start a blog. What I hope to do is have a place where I can spout off to a potentially large audience (much larger, anyway, than family campouts, holiday meals and parties) and also to connect folks with widely varying interests and backgrounds.

Hah! Lance Armstrong is cleared of doping. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, France.

June: Robert Kosilek has been serving a life sentence in prison since 1990, after being convicted of strangling his wife. Now going by the name "Michelle" he's suing the Massachussets Department of Correction for the 2nd time, trying to get the state to pay for a sex change operation.

It's no longer chaos here at the compound. Almost all of the errands are done.

July: "Anyone who idolizes a zombie dope fiend is going to burn in hell."
--James Denson, also 78, whose mother was Elvis' mother Gladys' good friend.

You know that distinct briny taste you get in your mouth when you go to the beach, or go snorkeling? It's the taste of BACTERIA!!!!

August: I miss Andy Kaufman. What can I say?

MizBubs and I recently returned from fabulous Las Vegas, Nevada, where we:
-belatedly celebrated our 20th wedding anniversary,
-said goodbye to summer and sunshine, and
-spent some good time alone, together, to steel ourselves for the hubbub of school and MizBubs' return to full-time employment.

September: This is the farm owned by some of MizBubs' extended family (her sister's in-laws) about an hour west of Dubuque, Iowa.

This is from Viva Las Vegas VIII in 2005. I thought hurtling down a parking ramp in one of these looked like a swell time, but Miz Bubs assured me that was the beer talking.

October: Dig my suede vest. I was very groovy. And studious.

"Kill the brain and you kill the ghoul."

November: This is me, about to light the fuse, and I have that same sense of fierce determination and anticipation.

Check out this picture:
I get home from work at eleven o'clock, after driving through what's turning into a pretty intense ice storm out here in the northwest suburbs.

December: Today started with having to deal with the consequences of District 214's truly sh*tty and backwards-ass decision to NOT cancel classes for today: by 7:30 the car was dug out, cleaned off and the driveway was shoveled, and I had deposited one unhappy daughter at school. MizBubs, girl dynamo, cleared off the sidewalk and helped the neighbor dig out before I got home.

Happy New Year!

Wednesday's random factoid

According to the February, 2004 Harper's Index, a Hummer H2 could be driven around the world 244 times on the excess calories Americans consume each year.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Let's end this Tuesday on a good note



Me and MizBubs found ourselves childless tonight. Wow. The Christmas shopping is done, the girls are gone for the night (school break and all) and being the slacker househusband that I am, I got no dinner ready. So, what to do?

Head to The Tiki Terrace for a few Mai Tai's, that's what. How fortunate are we to have a good tiki bar so close to our house? Pretty damn lucky. They serve good food, too, and Tuesday is $3 Mai Tai night. We had some udon noodles, some fried coconut chicken, a few Mai Tai's, and some lovely conversation with Phil and Eileen who were working there tonight. Nice people. Then we returned home, MizBubs to her knitting and I to the Chuck Pahliniuk novel I got at the library yesterday (Lullaby.)

To top it off, on the drive home we listened to Tom Waits' version of "Young At Heart" from Orphans. It features a very Hawaiian-sounding steel guitar. Kismet.

Dude! Will White Castle profits soar along with US weed production?

According to this article in the Guardian, marijuana is now the NUMBER ONE CASH CROP IN THE UNITED STATES. I'm sorry, didn't mean to yell.

As someone from the midwest, who's spent hours driving through apparently endless fields of corn and soybeans, I find the idea that American-grown weed is worth more than all that corn and soy just mind-boggling.

The study appears here on the Bulletin for Cannabis Reform page. You can read about their estimation methods here.

I remember reading, years ago, that marijuana had passed tobacco as the top crop in states like Kentucky and North Carolina. Well, here's the top ten producing states according to this table:

1) California (no surprise there)
2) Tennessee
3) Kentucky (do I swell with home state pride? Or what?)
4) Hawaii
5) Washington
6) North Carolina
7) Florida
8) Alabama
9) West Virginia
10) Oregon

Illinois placed 19, behind our Hoosier neighbors to the east (17). We are, however, way ahead of Iowa (43) and Wisconsin (27). Evidently cornfed meth freaks and brandy-swilling cheeseheads don't have what it takes to make good pot farmers.

Merry Christmas from the U.K.


According to this story in the Mirror, an unemployed gent thought it would be fun to put up this 10' tall tree, trimmed with lights, shaped like a phallus.

The man lives in...wait for it...

Penistone.

Happy holidays!

Freak of the week

Goes to Marco Castro, a senior at Wheaton North High School.

Marco did something very special to some ranch dressing in the school cafeteria.

Happy holidays!

Nashville, Indiana


We evacuated the Compound and went into hiding this weekend. I planned this little getaway a few weeks ago; my thinking was that everyone would be feeling a little frazzled, and it would be a good idea for the four of us to just get away together and relax a bit before the home stretch.

I rented a cabin at Brown County State Park in Nashville, Indiana. The plan was we'd drive down there Friday afternoon, walk around the woods, go to some antique stores on Saturday, walk around the woods some more, and drive home Sunday. Along the way we'd have some meaningful conversations, and return feeling strengthened and renewed, ready for Christmas and all its joys and challenges.

In brief: the cabin was great, Brown County State Park was great. Our cabin was perched at the top of a ridge, looking down over a little creek. The view was lovely. The woods around the cabin were full of birds, particularly woodpeckers. The cabin also had one of the most wonderful lamps I've ever seen. The lamp was constructed of wood and little glued stones and had a tiny deer head on it, and a little glowing orange lightbulb to simulate the fire in a fireplace. You could find many items like it for sale in Nashville.

The town of Nashville was a touristy waste of time. It was probably fun 20 or 30 years ago, but it's now full of places that spell shop "shoppe" and time "tyme." We found shoppes with "ye" and "olde" but we were disappointed that there was no single shoppe that pulled it all together; something like "Ye Olde Tyme Curiousity Shoppe." The smothering odor of potpourri sachets and scented candles hung over the entire town. Picture Frankenmuth, Michigan, or an overly-themed Long Grove, Illinois. I was thankful that it was off-season, so we didn't have to deal with hordes of well-fed, middle-aged Harley Davidson enthusiasts and bus tour groups.

Being in the woods, though, however briefly, was restorative. Saturday night we walked down the ravine behind our cabin and crossed a little wooden footbridge to sit on a wooden bench. It was lovely, sitting there listening to the creek, the smell of damp earth, leaves and wood smoke finally driving away the cloying tang of fake pumpkin pie spice candles. Brown County, geologically speaking, is a beautiful place, and worth visiting to hike or camp.

On Saturday afternoon we drove up to Jonathan Byrd's Cafeteria, just south of Indianapolis on I-65. We met my mom, brothers and their families, and our oldest family friends, Sam and Thelma, for lunch there. Sam and Thelma live in Louisville, and it seemed like a good place for everyone to meet. My brothers and my mom planned this, and it worked out great that we were going to be in the area anyway that weekend. We spent a couple of hours sitting and talking after lunch, catching up. One of my oldest memories is of "driving" a car on Dixie Highway outside Louisville; in the freewheeling days before we all became so concerned with things like child seats and safety belts, Sam let me sit in his lap and steer while we all drove somewhere. I should've asked where it was we actually ended up that day. Anyway, if you're ever driving on 65 and need to strap on a feedbag, Jonathan Byrd's is a good place to stop.

Speaking of food, I found two regional treats that I'd never eaten before: sugar cream pie and fried biscuits. Mmmm MMM. Sugar cream pie is also known as Hoosier sugar cream pie, or Indiana cream pie. It's a recipe that originates with Shaker communities in southern Indiana. Picture a very rich, buttery but not too sweet custard pie, and you've just about got it. We saw "fried biscuits and apple butter" advertised in a bunch of restaurants around Brown County. On Saturday night we ate dinner at the Abe Martin Lodge, and they served a basket of fried biscuits with dinner. Oh man.

Fried biscuits are basically balls of biscuit dough, deep-fried, dusted in sugar and cinammon, and served with apple butter. Oh lord, were they good. We got a second basket to go, and ate them for breakfast Sunday morning. I'm looking for a good recipe to do this one at home.

As far as antique stores, we didn't find a single one in or around Nashville. Nothing but pukey ducks and scented candles. Oh, and did I mention you could buy potpourri? There was also a place purporting to be a "winery" that was actually selling wine from California for about $10 a bottle more than I'd pay at Binny's. We did find an excellent place on 6th Street in Bloomington, right off Walnut, and spent a couple hours there on Sunday.

Well, it's getting late and it's time to get to bed. It's good to be home.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Random Dinner Conversation

Hannah: Am I right in thinking that XXXXX is kinda funny looking?

MizBubs: She's not as funny looking as she used to be.

Hannah: That's true.

---

I have no idea who they were talking about. I wish I did, though.

I got a Christmas card today


Yeah, I know it's really only an advertisement for VLV X, but I like it anyway.

Last-minute gift for that special V.U. fan in your life

Now's the chance to pick up that perfect last-minute gift for the Velvet Underground fan who has everything.

The original 12" LP acetate of the very first Velvet Underground record is up for auction on eBay.

Bidding is currently at $20,255. Now, get a load of this:

The seller bought it in 2002, at a street sale in New York for 75 cents.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Road Trip!


Time to get out of town for a couple days. We'll be hiding out in a cabin in the woods in southern Indiana.

Today's random ten hits the road:

Not Responsible – Tom Jones

Mansions for Me – Bill Monroe

Poor Little Critter on the Road – The Knitters

This Could Be The Start of Something Big – Jack Jones

Making Plans for Nigel – Nouvelle Vague

One More Time – Roy Head

I’m A Man You Don’t Meet Every Day – The Pogues

Kool Kat – Bill Sherwell

Voodoo Dreams – Les Baxter

I Want Candy – Bow Wow Wow

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Easy on the ice...

All the snow is melted now, so I need something else to keep me in that holiday mood. This ought to do it.

...Obviously calculated to stimulate the reader

This seemingly obvious statement, made in regard to girlie magazines of the early 1960’s, is only one of many gems to be found in the following film.

You can find this educational feature, and many others, in the same place you find Reg Kehoe and his Marimba Queens: the Prelinger Archives. Go visit them. It's another wonderland of public domain educational and industrial films.



Cheesehead kills freak deer

What has seven legs, male and female reproductive organs and nub antlers?

According to this story from the Fon du Lac Reporter, the answer is a freak deer that got run over by a truck. And of course, after running down the hermaphroditic deer with the extra limbs, cheesehead driver ate it.

At least he didn't f*ck it by the side of the road, as far as we know. That happens in Wisconsin.

You can see pictures of the deer here.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Lucky Brooklynites


They get to see Lou Reed perform Berlin as a stage show.

According to this story in the NY Times, the production features sets designed by Julian Schnabel (who's also filming the event), and a children's choir.

I can't imagine having much more fun than knocking back a few stiff drinks and seeing a live performance of The Kids:






They're taking her children away
because they said she was not a good mother
They're taking her children away
because of the things she did in the streets
In the alleys and bars, no she couldn't be beat
that miserable rotten slut couldn't turn, anyone away

Happy holidays!!