Half-drunk and happy

What a great weekend!

We are officially done with the 5th annual MizBubs' family early Thanksgiving celebration. No fires, no explosions, no visits to the emergency room. Unfortunately my nephews couldn't be here this year, and that reduced the level of good-natured inebriated zaniness somewhat. But we soldiered on, and it worked out fine.

This year we had more (and better, I think) food than ever: deep-fried Cajun turkey and deep-fried venison steak, roast garlic mashed potatoes, rosemary roasted green beans, a beautiful salad with blue cheese and pears, cornbread andouille stuffing, and spicy pumpkin soup for a starter. I think, in retrospect, the only thing missing was that none of our dishes called for bacon or bacon fat. I plan to remedy that next weekend, for the big event on Thanksgiving day.

We had 18 people for dinner, counting younguns. What a blast.

One big treat this weekend was I got to see my brother and his daughter, my niece Delaney. She is, without a doubt, I think the best, most agreeable child I've ever seen. They were visiting my mom's house, and I got to pop in there and say hi on my way to Costco to buy 5 gallons of fat for turkey frying.

My eldest daughter, the Mad Seamstress, my brother in law and his wife and I all got up at 7am this morning to run in the 30th Annual Lincolnwood Turkey Trot. I think this is the fourth or fifth year we've done this. We eat like pigs, then get all likkered up Saturday night, smoke cigars (well, me and my brother in law Shane do, anyway) and then get up and run a 5k race first thing Sunday morning. The first year we did this we ran the 10k; we've since come to our senses and gone the short distance.

Anyway, this year was unique. I haven't run in about two months, so I knew I'd be pokey. My daughter hasn't run at all this year. And Shane...well. Let me tell you about Shane. He's my hero--a total crash test dummy, in the best possible way. He's a few years older than me, far more athletic than I've ever been, and he hurls himself into outdoor endeavors with such reckless enthusiasm that he not infrequently winds up in the emergency room. Years ago, I hoped to outrun him in a 5k race in Fredericksburg, Texas, because he was recovering from a biking accident that resulted in major shoulder surgery for him. He ran in a sling and still beat me. That's the kind of guy he is.

This year would have provided a golden opportunity, had I bothered to run or train at all in the past 2 months. See, about 4 weeks ago, Shane had a surfing accident. He got caught in a strong current, and found himself being thrashed, repeatedly, against a barnacle-encrusted jetty, until two fishermen pulled him out of the water. His legs and feet were cut to ribbons, and he described trying to clean his wounds in one of those little beach showers, watching strips of flesh and meat drop off his limbs. His legs looked like this, and his feet looked like this, just 4 short weeks ago. And today he once again kicked my ass and outran me. For that matter, my daughter, who I lovingly coaxed along for 3 miles with encouraging and inspiring words as she threatened, alternately, to vomit or walk, decided to lengthen her stride at the end and also finished ahead of me.

Now it's on to Thanksgiving day, and Iowa. Laissez les bon temps roulez.

Deer Season

It's deer season, or it's about to be, most places here in the midwest. Last night we cooked up a couple pounds of venison steak (my friend killed it last year and had it butchered and frozen) along with our turkey, and it was mighty tasty. Yes, I've decided I like deer.

But not like Bryan James Hathaway, of Superior, Wisconsin. He got caught f*cking a deer carcass by the side of the road. His defense?

...public defender Fredric Anderson, argued that since the deer was dead, it was not considered an animal and the charge should be dismissed.

``The statute does not prohibit one from having sex with a carcass,'' Anderson wrote.

You can read more about Mr. Hathaway here, and you can see his glassy-eyed mugshot here on the Smoking Gun page.

What is it with Wisconsin and necrophilia?

5 Gross Things

Coaster Punchman kinda group-tagged everyone to post their gross top 5, and then Dale elevated it to a double dare.

Hmmm. I don't have any stories about soiling myself, but I'll do the best I can.

1) We went out with friends to celebrate MizBubs' 30th birthday. We ended up staying out way too late and getting way too drunk (thank you Bucket o' Suds), and ended up spending the night at our friend's place in Wrigleyville. We woke up late next morning and finally decided to get something to eat after noon; we all decided that noodles and broth might be nice, so we headed over to a Japanese restaurant on Clark Street--I think it was Matsuya. MizBubs ordered some type of noodles with fermented paste of something on top of it. I was suspicious when she ordered it (I suspected she was still a bit tipsy, her judgment clouded) but when it arrived I went from suspicious to disgusted. It smelled, strongly, of rotten cheese. I had to excuse myself from the table, quickly, and gag a little. I came back, and her noodles sat there uneaten for the rest of the meal. It put me off drinking, and Japanese food, for weeks. I can still remember that smell, and it's the first thing I think of when trying to think of something gross.

2) I was a new evidence technician when I got called to the scene of a bad crash. A guy had decided to kill himself by driving directly into the back of a parked semi trailer. He flinched at the last moment so that he only partially decapitated himself, wedging his car underneath the trailer. He left a multi-page suicide note in the car, which I had to retrieve by crawling in through a side window. Another guy basically held my legs as I slid through the opening. When I came out I had bits of brain and goo on my chest, arms and thighs.

3) I got sent to check on an elderly woman, whose neighbors were worried about her. The mail and newspapers were piled up on the front porch, and her car was in the garage. We forced the door open, and were hit in the face by the smell of shit and garbage, and something burning on the stove. The entire front room was filled with stacks of papers and garbage about 3-5' tall, with a narrow walkway toward the back of the house. The burning smell was coming from two hot dogs in a pot on the stove; the water had boiled away and the dogs were two smoldering, black ashy tubes. We couldn't find the lady who lived there, but judging from the smell we knew she was dead. Then we heard a very slight voice say "help." We made our way into a bathroom, forcing that door open as well. The floor, bathtub and walls were smeared with shit and blood. The woman, a degenerate drunk, had fallen off the toilet, probably a day or so earlier, and was wedged in between the wall and the toilet. Hurray for firefighters, America's heroes--they came in to get her out of there and took her to the hospital. That was the first time I got exposed to tuberculosis.

4) I had a black standard poodle, basically the finest dog I've ever known. Smart, funny, loyal and brave. Unfortunately, he had a phenomenal knack for finding old bandages and used feminine hygiene products. Finding them and then sauntering into a room full of people, happily chewing away on his prize.

5) Number 5 is a tossup between a dead guy who had a really interesting maggot mass under some skin that had slipped on his leg, giving his leg a shimmery, undulating appearance, and the dead guy, stuck to his kitchen floor, whose arm popped off when we tried to move him.

Happy Hanksgiving

Happy Hanksgiving everyone.

I got what I think is the best holiday email card ever from my good friend Hank. He's hosting his Hanksgiving celebration today out in tornado alley. We can't be there, because we're having an early Thanksgiving dinner here for some of MizBubs' wide-ranging extended family.

Yes, the unregulated propane flame is blasting away under the turkey fryer, heating the oil. In a few minutes I'll have to go outside and monitor it constantly, once it gets hotter. It's 2:00 pm and the drinking light is on. Time to put on sturdy boots and an extra flannel shirt, then head out to the back yard.

YEEE HAW.

Have a great weekend everybody!

Calling Young Homemakers

My friend Dena sent me a link to A Subscription for Despair over at yet another entertaining midwestern blog, A Hole in the Head.

The writer talks about a stack of Women's Household magazines from the mid-1960's that he bought at a yard sale. Whew. It really does look bleak.

That got me thinking. Miz Bubs recently got her first issue of Craft magazine, and she and the Mad Seamstress have been busy planning new projects. We found out about Craft at the Renegade Craft fair in Wicker Park earlier this year--a hipster arts n crafts show.

So here's what I want to know: how are all these tattooed, Bettie Page-looking, "I'm foxy and crafty" chicks (and the men who love them) going to seem 40 years from now when someone buys a stack of Bust magazines at a yard sale?

Friday Random Ten, November 17

Here it is, in all its useless glory:

Ain’t Got No Home – Carl Mann

The Black Angel’s Death Song – Velvet Underground

Doctor Finklestein/In the Forest – Nightmare Before Christmas Soundtrack

Lonesome Town – Cramps

Down in the Bottom – Howlin Wolf

Lucky & Wild – Josie Kreuzer

Danny Boy – Johnny Cash

I Fought Pirhanas – White Stripes

Anasthasia – The Bill Smith Combo

Stop Breaking Down – White Stripes

Guess I'll have to go post this on American Idle now. Well, as soon as they're awake anyway.

Damn you, Dale, for ever giving me this idea.

Blowtorch pizza

I am so proud. My eldest just came home from the Rat Patrol Thanksgiving dinner. She brought ingredients to make homemade pizza. Which she made, and her boyfriend Cody cooked. With a blowtorch. On the wooden back porch of an apartment in Chicago. The tenant came out at one point and commented "that's probably violating some kind of fire code" and then returned inside.

Yes, my daughter made a blowtorch pizza. It was, by her account, a crowd favorite. "Hey, you got to try some of the blowtorch pizza."

I have always had a knack with fire. But now, clearly, the torch has been passed.

Is it just me?

Or does Nancy Pelosi remind anyone else of Jennifer Wilbanks, the runaway bride?

Let's listen to some ska music

Beth's feature on the English Beat album I Just Can't Stop It reminded me how much I liked ska music, and how much I haven't been listening to it lately. I immediately got I Just Can't Stop It loaded into iTunes, and am now looking for some other old favorites like The Specials, and The Selecter.

So now it's Tuesday morning. I stayed up late, slept late, and now I get to sit here with my eldest daughter, drinking coffee and listening to ska music. ^_^

She's turned me on to a couple of bands that she likes, Mustard Plug and Streetlight Manifesto. My musical horizon shrinks, and then expands again.

Out of all those bands, though, I always liked The Specials best. So here's a video. Enjoy:

Monday morning asshole update

I read some more about Bob Sutton, author of The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't. There's some good reading on his site, Work Matters.

It must be that it's Monday, the start of the work week, that's got me thinking about assholes. Mr. Sutton explains why he calls them assholes:

To start with authenticity, when I tangle with nasty person, I don’t think “what a jerk” or “what an abusive person.” The first thing that comes to mind is “what an asshole.” That is also the word that nearly everyone I know uses to describe these creeps, even though they may later censor it. ...

We teach our Ph.D. students at Stanford in the Center for Work, Technology and Organization who do ethnographies of the workplace that using foul language is sometimes necessary for providing accurate and realistic descriptions of what people say and how they feel. I believe that – in terms of both descriptive and emotional accuracy – other words are simply inferior for describing how persistently demeaning people act and, especially, the feelings they unleash in their victims.

In other posts, Sutton offers helpful metrics to identify assholes, and perhaps measure their degree of being assholes in order to manage them.

The No Asshole Rule

In my opinion this is the book title of the year:

The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't

Guy Kawasaki of How to Change the World has an excellent review. According to Mr. Kawasaki

...it’s the definitive guide to understanding, counteracting, and not becoming an asshole. I am qualified to make this judgment because (a) I’ve been an asshole a few times and (b) been a victim of assholes more than a few times.

As Kawasaki says, the first step is recognizing who is an asshole. I'm going to quote him at length, and I encourage you to click on this link and read the rest of the article.

The first step is to recognize who is an asshole. Sutton’s blog cites one method. It’s called the Starbucks Test It goes like this: If you hear someone at Starbucks order a “decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n’-Low and one NutraSweet,” you’re in the presence of an asshole. It’s unlikely that this petty combination is necessary—the person ordering is trying to flex her power because she’s an asshole.

A second method is to use Suttons’s dirty-dozen list of everyday asshole actions:

1. Personal insults

2. Invading one’s personal territory

3. Uninvited personal contact

4. Threats and intimidation, both verbal and non-verbal

5. Sarcastic jokes and teasing used as insult delivery systems

6. Withering email flames

7. Status slaps intended to humiliate their victims

8. Public shaming or status degradation rituals

9. Rude interruptions

10. Two-faced attacks

11. Dirty looks

12. Treating people as if they are invisible

A third method—albeit the least reliable, scientific, and fair but the most fun—is to search Google with a person’s name (or a profession) plus “asshole.” This yields some interesting results.

Please help me with a research project

I'm doing a little informal research, and I'm hoping you can help me.

Please click on the link below, and view the short video. Ignore the hokey metal music that's been added as a soundtrack, and forget that it's a clip from the TV show Cops. Understand that this is a brief video clip taken from COPS and put on YouTube for entertainment (hence the lack of emphasis on police procedures like interviewing, and instead added emphasis on the takedown.) The added music obscures/drowns out some of the dialogue. Please assume that the subject being taken down has been identified as the offender in a fight, as described briefly in the video.

After you watch the clip, please scroll down and anser a few questions for me. You can post your answers as comments.

I have a few questions for you:

1) Is the police officer's use of force justified?

2) If not, why not?

3) If the officer had pepper spray, should he have used it?

4) The officer had a Taser. Should he have used it before putting his hands on the arrestee?

5) If the officer's use of force was not justified, what do you think he should have done?

6) Did you see any indication that the subject posed a threat to the police officer? If you did think the subject posed a threat, what did you see or hear to make you think that?

7) Did the officer's use of force offend or shock you?

Thanks for responding to this if you can. I'm doing some use-of-force training this week, and I plan on comparing your responses (you're my non-law-enforcement control group for now) to those of the cops in the class I'm teaching.

Thanks again!

Barbados faces horror of giant snail invasion

AP) BRIDGETOWN, Barbados A breed of giant, ravenous snails that first appeared in Barbados five years ago has thrived on the tropical island, destroying crops and prompting calls for the government to eliminate the slimy pests.

Authorities are organizing nocturnal snail hunts to combat the menace from these crop-munching, meningitis-transmitting mollusks.

As if the threat to our (by our I mean, mine, not the United States') rum imports isn't bad enough, even the West Virginia Department of Agriculture has sounded the alarm. And if West Virginia is threatened, Kentucky can't be far behind, with its clear water, rich fields of corn and many distilleries.

First the rum is gone, and then the bourbon.

Shake for me

November 10: Friday Random Ten, Pre-Dawn Edition

See, if you stay up late enough, and drink a few Effen Sexy cocktails, you can (if you work at it hard enough) convince yourself that you're actually an early bird, getting things done. Getting important things done, that is, and early. You're not just some sleep-deprived crank who works nights and spends too much time on the computer.

And, as you post this week's random shuffle choices, you'll feel the same satisfaction as if you'd gotten up early and run 6 miles. Or milked the cows, or whatever. Last week the Mad Seamstress and I sorted our music so that this week's list more accurately reflects what I'm likely to be listening to as I stew in my juices:

London is the Place For Me – Lord Beginner

A La Carte – James Holloway

Hang Me In A Bottle – Tom Waits (Alice Original Demos)

Railroad Blues – Woody Guthrie

Mean Mean Woman – The Rockers

Banzai Washout – Dick Dale

Howlin’ For My Baby – Howlin Wolf

Call of the Wighat – The Cramps

Nobody But My Baby – Fats Waller

I Walk The Line – Johnny Cash

Now it's squirrels

I've fallen down on the job.

Between Halloween and the recent elections, I've failed in performing one of the most important tasks here at the Compound: namely, warning you all of the rising wave of animal attacks. I aim to make up for lost time.

First it was alligators, then a variety of animals including monkeys and bears. And emus.

Now it's squirrels.

It's a good thing I've got two scrappy terriers to keep those furry little nut-eating bastards away from the compound. Hopefully the dogs stay loyal.

A moment of partisan gloating.

I feel better this morning.

Operation Enduring Occupation

Please vote. No matter how awful your local candidates are, at least one of them is better than Kang or Kodos:

I said, VOTE

Don't whine

VOTE!

Halloween's last gasp

The girls threw a nice little Halloween party at the compound this weekend. The nice thing about it was, it gave us an excuse to leave the Halloween decorations up a few days longer. That, and it gave us a good reason to rent a bunch more scary movies.

Our eldest had a banner week. She got to attend an evening with Tom Savini, and met him afterward. He even signed her copy of the original Dawn of the Dead. She followed this up by attending a small zombie walk on Halloween night. What a gal.

Our youngest sewed her own rag doll costume, and even put a wig together out of yarn. Clever girl.

Enjoy the pics and say goodbye to Halloween until next year.

The children are our future

This chick rocks so hard you don't even know it yet.

Finally, back to real news

Nude Couple's Feud Ends at Waffle House - Forbes.com

No wonder my brother in law eats three meals a day there when he's on the road.

Friday Random Ten, November 3

HOLY SHIT I'VE WASTED ANOTHER WEEK OF MY LIFE.

Sorry, I meant to say:

Golly, it's Friday again, and time for this week's random ten!

1) Get Your Gun – Marilyn Manson

2) Jumble, Jumble – White Stripes

3) The Sanity Assassin – Bauhaus

4) You Made A Hit – Ray Smith

5) Pulling Teeth – Green Day

6) Oakie Boogie – Jack Guthrie

7) Goons of Hazzard – Dead Kennedys

8) Iowa – Slipknot

9) Come On Home – Franz Ferdinand

10) The Living End – Jesus and Mary Chain

Go check out American Idle, Just a Cool Cat, or Dale to see more.

ADDED AT 9:20 PM:

I got an idea from my eldest, the Mad Seamstress. We were discussing the Friday Random Ten and she commented on how many of the songs in my lists were from her, or her sister. She posted her first Random Ten here, and what she did was make a separate library of her music, so that her shuffles would more accurately reflect her own musical tastes. I've done the same thing, so that next week's shuffle should be more Bubs, less Bubs' kids.

Political Compass

Tired of the old conservative/liberal, right/left political spectrum? I know I am. Drawing political orientation on a line that runs from left to right along an x axis seems limiting. After all, Martin Luther King and Joseph Stalin might both be described as "left" but that's clearly not very descriptive.

The folks at Political Compass have a more complete system that includes the traditional left/right, as well as a y axis that goes from libertarian to authoritarian.

Guess where I landed.

Manliest day ever

Today might have been one of my manliest days ever.

Without being too indelicate, let's say it started on a very positive marital note with the phenomenally talented and lovely MizBubs. After an invigorating shower I went to the kitchen and began grinding fresh venison to cook into some chili at the shooting range later. I suppose it would've been manlier if I'd driven to Wisconsin in a big truck, but still...

I spent the entire afternoon alternately cooking chili for a group of 21 cops, and shooting a variety of firearms: two Glock handguns, an AR-15, an M-14, an MP-5 and a Remington 870 shotgun. The chili was a great success and I got lots of compliments on it. Then we shot some more, at night, which is cool because the muzzle flashes are really impressive. My team won a shooting relay so we didn't have to pick up all the brass from the range, and then I did some more shotgun shooting, which is very manly because it makes your shoulder throb. And then I shot the AK-47. Oh yeah, and I did this while smoking a big fat cigar.

Finally, we cleaned up and drank some bourbon from a flask before leaving. In the words of Teddy Roosevelt, this was "bulliest yet" since it was now in the low 30's and windy. And dark. The only disappointment of the day was the fact that the snow flurries never turned into a real snowstorm.

And here I am now, with my adoring and fabulous bride, bragging about my exploits while I suck down some more Wild Turkey. It feels good. Ahhhh.

The CTA is onto me

Ever have one of those moments? The kind when you catch a bit of dialogue from the television or radio, or hear part of a public service announcement, and at that precise moment whatever random statement you heard seems aimed directly at you? I had a moment like that this morning, on the el train headed downtown.

Just as I got on I heard this announcement:

"Soliciting and gambling are prohibited on CTA vehicles."

Damn it. Now I'll never be able to sell enough tube socks, umbrellas and incense to bankroll my floating shell game.

Here we go

This is me, about to light the fuse, and I have that same sense of fierce determination and anticipation.

One of two things is about to happen: I'll either be shot forcefully (and successfully, I hope) into the holiday season and all its activities, joys and demands...

Or I'll crash headlong over the side of a cliff, the firing Acme rocket still strapped to my carcass.

Either way, there's no turning back now, and I kind of like how that feels.

...

I work rotating shifts and change hours each month; today marks the first day of working evenings (3:30pm to midnight.) I just finished a month on days, and one of the advantages of investigations is that I no longer work midnights. Working evenings is great--you get a lot of stuff done during the day, you're not bothered with as many administrative tasks, and you meet more interesting people at work.

This month, though, is shaping up to be even more of a chaotic blur than last month was. The downside of working evenings is that you still have plenty of work-related stuff to do during the day: court and training, for instance, so that you frequently end up working 12-16 hour days, you end up being awake from 7am until 1 or 2 am, and there's always the possibility of staying late or getting called in early. In a couple of hours I'm heading down to the Daley Center to testify in a civil trial that's related to a forgery arrest I made nearly 2 years ago.

I've got to prepare for firearms training tomorrow. My department uses an outdoor range in Wisconsin about 6 times a year; the outdoor range days are great. We shoot all the long guns (MP-5, AR-15, M-14 and shotgun) as well as running a lot of handgun courses that we can't do on an indoor range. It's a whole day outdoors, and we usually grill while we're up there. It's a good time. I usually try and bring up some of the compound arsenal to keep my skills up.

Tomorrow's training will end with a night shoot after dinner, and I'm in charge of dinner-- chili for 20+. So I need to get my propane tank refilled and my turkey fryer ready to travel, since it's got enough capacity for 15 pounds of meat. One of my friends gave me a bunch of venison steaks to cut up into the chili grind, and I'm looking forward to that. Tomorrow will run from noon until 9pm, but that counts as my workday.

Friday is a normal workday. Nothing extra planned there. Yet.

Saturday I'm heading out to Mooseheart, Illinois for a police and fire honor guard competition. Not to compete, just to observe and see how other departments structure and run their drill teams. Most important, Saturday is the night of the girls' Halloween party. OH, that reminds me. Friday will be for cleaning the house before I go to work.

I took two extra days off next week so I can work a side job for a friend of mine and generate some extra lettuce for the holidays.

The weekend of the 17/18 is Crispin Glover at the Music Box. That same weekend some of MizBubs' family come up from Texas, and we all have an early Thanksgiving here. Then on Sunday morning we all get up half-hungover and run the Lincolnwood Turkey Trot. After the first time when we all did the 10k, we got wise and now run the 5k.

Then it's time to get ready for Thanksgiving, and our annual trip out to Iowa. This year's event is complicated, though. There's been some upheaval in the family there, and it's not clear how any of it's going to play out; one of the people involved hasn't really spoken to anyone else in the family about it yet. We'll see what happens.

My coffee is finished. It's time to get going.

See you next month.

Happy Halloween

Law enforcement quote of the week: Halloween Edition

"Kill the brain and you kill the ghoul."

"Beat 'em or burn 'em. They go up pretty easy."

"Yeah, they're dead, they're all messed up."

-Sheriff McClelland, unknown county in rural Pennsylvania, commenting on an outbreak of zombie attacks.

Five Things You Don't Know About MizBubs

1) I am not a girl-genius.

2) In 1979, I rode on Ozzy Osborne's tour bus. Unfortunately, I didn't know who he was at the time.

3) I used to teach Sunday School at our church.

4) I once used paper towels and strapping tape to bandage a drill injury on my hand. I subsequently received 7 stitches.

5) An ancestor, Abraham Clark of New Jersey, signed the Declaration of Independence.

After the party

I learned a valuable lesson after the party last night. That lesson is, don't apply liquid latex close to your hairline, or on your sideburns. It will hurt coming off.

On a brighter note, I now have a couple of truly disgusting flaps of bloody latex, complete with fake beard hairs stuck to them, in a plastic bag.

Looks like some lucky coworker is going to get a surprise on his desk in the next couple of days.

Hubbub

There was plenty of that today. Running around, all three of the Bubs girls sewing like crazy to get ready for the big Halloween party tonight. This is what our dining room looked like late Friday night. It looked even woolier by Saturday afternoon.

A friend of ours throws a really great Halloween party every year. We have three big social occasions every year, and this friend throws two of them--Halloween and New Year. We do 4th of July. Anyway, MizBubs ended up cancelling her trip to Iowa this weekend and we were able to go to the party together!! YAY!

More to follow.

The dangers of pole dancing, Part II

In this lesson we learn about gravity:

The dangers of pole dancing

After reading about the Peekaboo Pole Dancing Set controversy, I wondered if we, as a society, were facing an epidemic of pole-dancing danger. So I took on the task of googling pole-dancing and its variants. After hours and hours of looking at pictures of pole dancers, and watching countless videos of pole dancing, I am now ready to make my report.

Put briefly, pole dancing is indeed dangerous, especially for the untrained, young and possibly alcohol-impaired. Popular Science has an interesting illustration of the physics behind a pole dancing mishap. A young woman narrowly escapes serious side-boob exposure only to learn, the hard way, what a fulcrum is:

After Pat's Birthday -- A letter from Kevin Tillman

For those of you who don't remember, Pat Tillman was a safety with the Arizona Cardinals. After September 11, he walked away from his $3.9 million contract and joined the United States Army, along with his brother Kevin (himself a major league baseball prospect.) Both brothers became US Army Rangers and served in Afghanistan, where Pat was killed in 2004. It turned out that Pat was killed by friendly fire, and the Pentagon kept the truth from his family and the public until well after his memorial service.

His brother Kevin left the Army in 2005, and has now spoken out as a fierce critic of the war in Iraq and of the current administration. You can find the original letter here. I've reprinted Kevin's letter in its entirety:

…

It is Pat’s birthday on November 6, and elections are the day after. It gets me thinking about a conversation I had with Pat before we joined the military. He spoke about the risks with signing the papers. How once we committed, we were at the mercy of the American leadership and the American people. How we could be thrown in a direction not of our volition. How fighting as a soldier would leave us without a voice… until we got out.

Much has happened since we handed over our voice:

Somehow we were sent to invade a nation because it was a direct threat to the American people, or to the world, or harbored terrorists, or was involved in the September 11 attacks, or received weapons-grade uranium from Niger, or had mobile weapons labs, or WMD, or had a need to be liberated, or we needed to establish a democracy, or stop an insurgency, or stop a civil war we created that can’t be called a civil war even though it is. Something like that.

Somehow our elected leaders were subverting international law and humanity by setting up secret prisons around the world, secretly kidnapping people, secretly holding them indefinitely, secretly not charging them with anything, secretly torturing them. Somehow that overt policy of torture became the fault of a few “bad apples” in the military.

Somehow back at home, support for the soldiers meant having a five-year-old kindergartener scribble a picture with crayons and send it overseas, or slapping stickers on cars, or lobbying Congress for an extra pad in a helmet. It’s interesting that a soldier on his third or fourth tour should care about a drawing from a five-year-old; or a faded sticker on a car as his friends die around him; or an extra pad in a helmet, as if it will protect him when an IED throws his vehicle 50 feet into the air as his body comes apart and his skin melts to the seat.

Somehow the more soldiers that die, the more legitimate the illegal invasion becomes.

Somehow American leadership, whose only credit is lying to its people and illegally invading a nation, has been allowed to steal the courage, virtue and honor of its soldiers on the ground.

Somehow those afraid to fight an illegal invasion decades ago are allowed to send soldiers to die for an illegal invasion they started.

Somehow faking character, virtue and strength is tolerated.

Somehow profiting from tragedy and horror is tolerated.

Somehow the death of tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people is tolerated.

Somehow subversion of the Bill of Rights and The Constitution is tolerated.

Somehow suspension of Habeas Corpus is supposed to keep this country safe.

Somehow torture is tolerated.

Somehow lying is tolerated.

Somehow reason is being discarded for faith, dogma, and nonsense.

Somehow American leadership managed to create a more dangerous world.

Somehow a narrative is more important than reality.

Somehow America has become a country that projects everything that it is not and condemns everything that it is.

Somehow the most reasonable, trusted and respected country in the world has become one of the most irrational, belligerent, feared, and distrusted countries in the world.

Somehow being politically informed, diligent, and skeptical has been replaced by apathy through active ignorance.

Somehow the same incompetent, narcissistic, virtueless, vacuous, malicious criminals are still in charge of this country.

Somehow this is tolerated.

Somehow nobody is accountable for this.

In a democracy, the policy of the leaders is the policy of the people. So don’t be shocked when our grandkids bury much of this generation as traitors to the nation, to the world and to humanity. Most likely, they will come to know that “somehow” was nurtured by fear, insecurity and indifference, leaving the country vulnerable to unchecked, unchallenged parasites.

Luckily this country is still a democracy. People still have a voice. People still can take action. It can start after Pat’s birthday.

Brother and Friend of Pat Tillman,

Kevin Tillman

5 things you don't know about me

1) I used to have a pretty good singing voice before the Army.

2) I have a horrible raging temper (but it's gotten better.)

3) I cry easily at movies.

4) I used to have a friendly relationship with a black rhinoceros, and she'd let me pet her on her prehensile upper lip nearly every afternoon.

5) I never proposed to MizBubs.

Friday Random Ten: October 27

It's that time of the week again. On your marks, get set...shuffle:

1) Astro Zombie – The Misfits

2) Hold the Fort – IWW Rebel Voices

3) Bukowski – Modest Mouse

4) I’d Tell You But – Anti Flag

5) Temple of Love – Sisters of Mercy

6) It Coulda Been Me – Social Distortion

7) Grand Coulee Dam – Woody Guthrie

8) Autonomy – The Buzzcocks

9) Fall of Because – Killing Joke

10) Poison Pen – Bauhaus

Post your list on American Idle and see what the rest of the hep world is doing on a Friday morning.

Just in time for the holidays

Ah, the spectacle of the declining imperial power that is Great Britain.

Evidently our exports of MTV and Jerry Springer must've really triggered something dark and horrible in the British psyche. How do I know this? Because British store chain Tesco is advertising this toy:

Peekaboo Pole Dancing Set.

Sure, it says "adults only" on the website. But you find it by searching under "toys and games." Karen Gallimore, righteously indignant British consumer, is pissed off.

Maybe Lulu can find a way to work this into her unique school fundraiser idea.

New Orleans Horror Story

This is a photo of 28-year old Zackery Bowen and 30-year old Addie Hall of New Orleans. They met during Hurricane Katrina, fell in love, and over the next year engaged in a volatile love affair.

On Wednesday, October 18^th, Bowen jumped to his death from the Omni Royal Orleans hotel in the French Quarter. In his pocket was a suicide note; the note also directed officers to go to his apartment on Rampart Street, above the New Orleans Voodoo Spiritual Temple.

There police found the remains of Addie Hall. Bowen had strangled her on October 5^th, had sex with the corpse, then dismembered and cooked her remains.

...

I have always loved southern Louisiana, and especially New Orleans, from my first visit there in 1998. I love the premium that New Orleans residents place on hospitality and having a good time, but what really fascinates me is that just beneath all that “laissez les bon temps rouler is a deep undercurrent of decay, madness and horror.

This story has it all: a good-looking but dissipated young couple, thrown together during a devastating hurricane, both drifters (he moved from Los Angeles in 1996, she from Pennsylvania) who ended up in New Orleans working in the hospitality industry (he as a grocery delivery man for Matassa'’s and bartender at Buffa's, she as a bartender at one of my favorite clubs, the Spotted Cat.) This being a New Orleans story, there are drugs, guns, booze, sex, and voodoo.

Addie Hall told friends she had been abused as a child. Zackery Bowen claimed he served in the Army in Bosnia and Iraq, and, when drinking, would mutter darkly about the government "“messing him over." No one has been able to confirm his military service yet, and my bet is that, if he even served at all, he got bounced out during training. The couple stayed in the French Quarter after Katrina, refusing to evacuate, and became local celebrities. Hall ensured extra police presence around their apartment by flashing her breasts at passing police cars.

They both look familiar to me; I can'’t decide if it's because I actually ran into them during our travels, or that they just look like so many other young people you run into in the French Quarter or Faubourg Marigny.

The New Orleans Times-Picayune has complete coverage, including background, photos and video, here.

More fun with google

A frighteningly accurate portrait of my interests and hobbies emerges from the most recent batch of google searches leading to the compound. I can only hope that visitors from Korea and Germany now have a more complete understanding of the glory that is my America.

Wisconsin lawsuits venereal disease

biggest bubs

emu (in Korea, Sprawling Ramshackle Compound is a leading source of information on emus)

Chicago marathon winner slip video

Germans want to know "have you ever"

hurrican katrina alligator attacks

"licking the flesh"

educators

hypnotizing lizards

Halloween is coming...

This is what the front of the compound looked like in the rain the other night. I hope we have a few more nights like this before Halloween...

Thanks for the costume ideas. Right now I'm trying to decide between two easy ones:

Dead cowboy--I already have the clothes and zombie makeup; MizBubs suggested I go with a noose around my neck as a dead rustler.

George Hamilton--I go and get spray-tanned to a dapper yet ridiculous dark brown, dye the hair black and wear a white terrycloth robe.

Blue Monday

Lord I'm in a funk this morning, and for no good reason. Part of it is that I have to spend the afternoon and evening interviewing applicants for an open detective position, and I'm not looking forward to it. Also, MizBubs is going out of town next weekend, which--aside from the obvious loss of consortium I'll be suffering--means that I have to come up with a new costume idea for the Halloween party. We were going to go as Lizzie Borden and her father, and I got some really, really good gore makeup planned, but alas, it is not to be.

I should at least feel satisfied that I finished the fence repair this weekend, and the damaged tree is down. MizBubs, girl genius, rigged a climbing harness and some improvised safety headgear for me and held the lines steady so I could get to the high limbs safely, scampering to and fro like a lemur with a chainsaw. Then she applied ice, soothing words and beverages as needed.

Here are the before and after pics. The main section of replaced fence is just above and to the right of the stump in the "after" photo.

OK, so I'm "it"

I don't post here often, as you know. Bubs "tagged" me to complete this questionnaire, so here it is.

1) Would you bungee jump?
I would jump off a perfectly good bridge why?!!!

2) If you could do anything in the world for a living what would it be?
I'd be a reclusive archaeologist somewhere accessible only by pack animal, and then only during the dry season. Maybe I'd be queen of the world, if I could be a remote and distant queen...

3) Your favorite fictional animal?
The selkie. I think I understand them.

4) One person who never fails to make you laugh?
My daughter Hannah. And my daughter Nora, too, when we say the same thing at the same moment, which is often.

5) When you were 12 years old what did you want to be when you grew up?
A reclusive archaeologist somewhere accessible only by pack animal, and then only during the dry season. Or Yoko Ono's replacement.

6) What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
I put my right hand on top of Bub's.

7) Have you ever gone to therapy?
Yes, but not for long. I know what's wrong with me better than anyone. And if I can't remember it, I don't want to know...

8) If you could have one super power what would it be?
Solving everyone's problems, so I wouldn't have to worry about them.

9) Your favorite cartoon character?
Bugs Bunny, but I feel more like Elmer Fudd.

10) Do you go to church?
Bubs said "Not as often as I should. But I mean well." I agree. I think about God a lot, and I think we have an understanding.

11) What is your best childhood memory?
Summertime, walking to the train station with my Poppy (grandfather) to watch the 10 pm train, then get a chocolate-dipped Dairy Queen cone.

12) Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
Oh no. Marriage is truly sacred, and a backbone of western society. Like Bubs, I think gays, lesbians, and all people should have the benefits and responsibilities contained in marriage.

13) Do you own a gun?
Well, I claim Bubs old revolver, a Smith and Wesson .357. I do enjoy that weapon!

14) Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex.
I tried to hit Bubs once before we married, but he was too quick for me. He did deserve it, though!

15) Have you ever sung in front of a large group of people?
Yes, and I'm sure I will again. It's not pretty, though.

16) What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Eyes. Definitely eyes.

17) What is your biggest mistake?
The jury is still out on my biggest mistake. Let's just say there are lots of contenders!

18) Say something totally random about yourself.
I love glam rock.

19) Has anyone ever said that you look like a celebrity?
When I was young, I got lots of free drinks in gay bars for looking like Judy Garland.

20) What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you?
Some guy whisked me off to Memphis for my 40th birthday, and then my sister and her husband met us there for the weekend. That was awesome!!!

21) Do you actually read these when other people fill them out?
Oh, totally!

22) Is it wrong not to tag anyone?
I don't know. I'm still learning the etiquette.

So, I don't know if this was particularly edifying, but I had fun!

Domestic Bliss

Sunday afternoon on a lovely day. MizBubs was busy with our youngest daughter, working on a rag doll costume for Halloween. Abba Gold was playing in the background, and after cleaning the kitchen I was cooking up a pan of apple brown betty. Then I noticed Duffy, my terrier mutt, intently working on something. That something turned out to be a field mouse, in his death throes. Duffy dropped it, briefly, and Jack (our rat terrier) darted in and grabbed the struggling rodent away from Duffy. Jack proceeded to do a few victory laps around the house until I could open the back door and let them both out with their shared kill.

I will now, forever, have "Take a Chance on Me" in my head as the soundtrack for mouse killing and Sunday baking.

I'm not running the marathon

Not this year, anyway. And I'm depressed because I'm not.

This year was going to be my third Chicago Marathon. I ran in 1999 and 2004, and I was really looking forward to running again this year. I was going to be lighter and faster than the other two times. Unfortunately a visit to the emergency room and a surprise surgery kind of put the kibosh on my training this summer. Right now I'm just taking pleasure in the knowledge that I don't have to be out of bed in 4 hours and standing in the 40 degree rain, waiting to run 26.2 miles. Matter of fact, by the time I drag my bourbon-soaked ass out of bed, the race will be finished.

Just wait till next year.

ADDED AT 12:12 PM:

Congratulations to Robert Cheruiyot of Kenya, this years Chicago Marathon winner with a finishing time of 2 hours, 7 minutes, 35 seconds. Hope his head feels better.

At 12:12 there's still thousands of runners crossing the finish line, and they'll continue crossing until 2:00 pm. Good luck to all of them--to finish is to win!

Educators, take note

Bill Crozier is an Oklahoma Republican running for state superintendent of education, and he has an idea.

He proposes putting old, thick, textbooks under the desk of each student in every school. Why? So that the used, thick textbooks could be used to defend students against gunfire in the event of a school shooting. To demonstrate the merit of this idea, he produced a poorly-filmed, rambling unedited bit of video showing him and some friends shooting an AK-47 and some handguns at a variety of old textbooks.

You can read about him by clicking that first sentence, or watch his entire video here.

There's some more innovative thinking going on just south of Mr. Crozier, in Burleson, Texas. The Burleson school district has enlisted the services of British Army Major Robin Browne's company, Response Options, to provide training to its faculty and students. Students and teachers are being taught that "getting under desks and praying for rescue from professionals is not a recipe for success". Instead of cowering, students and teachers should immediately go on the offensive, swarming and attacking the school shooter. And maybe braining him with a thick, used textbook.

Friday Random Ten: October 20

It's that time again. Thanks to Dale for turning me on to this little diversion. You can also check out the results, and post your own lists, at American Idle. Without further ado, here's today's playlist:

1) Hog Maw Stomp – Fats Waller

2) Babalu – Ima Sumac

3) All the Way Down – Voltaire

4) Rush and a push and the land is ours – The Smiths

5) Son of a Gun – Nirvana

6) Nine While Nine – Sisters of Mercy

7) Victoria’s Escape – Corpse Bride soundtrack

8) I’m a Man You Don’t Meet Everyday – The Pogues

9) Please Don’t Tease – The Donnas

10) 100 Ways – Rob Zombie

What is it?

More like, WTF is it?

What is it? is the title of a new film by Crispin Hellion Glover. This is the plot, according to Mr. Glover:

"Being the adventures of a young man whose principal interests are snails, salt, a pipe, and how to get home, as tormented by a hubristic fascist inner psyche."

The cast is largely composed of actors with Downs Syndrome. You can click here to watch the trailer.

Crispin is showing the film at a few choice venues around the country, including the Music Box here in Chicago on November 17 and 18. It's being billed as "An Evening With Crispin Hellion Glover" and includes a Q&A, the "Big Slide Show" and concludes with a screening of Werner Herzog's Even Dwarves Started Small.

I can't wait.

It's National "Character Counts" Week

It's National Character Counts week! The POTUS made a stirring proclamation declaring it so on Friday the 13th, and promptly set himself to walking the walk, and not just talking the talk. How did the POTUS do that, you might ask?

According to this piece in the Washington Post, he did it by campaigning for the man you see pictured above, Pennsylvania congressman Don Sherwood. The POTUS said Don Sherwood "has got a record of accomplishment." His most recent accomplishment was settling a $5.5 million lawsuit filed by his 30+ years younger mistress, who alleged that the congressman tried to beat and strangle her. You can read about it here, or here, or here.

So, wrapping up "Character Counts" week:

-The Foley/page scandal is still unfolding, with congressional hearings continuing

-Republican congressman Bob Ney pleads guilty (but hasn't left office yet)

-The FBI raids associates of Republican congressman Curt Weldon (also from Pennsylvania--what's the deal with that?)

-Republican congressional candidate Tan Nguyen is asked to withdraw by his own party, after his campaign got caught trying to suppress the Latino vote.

Wow.

Best search phrase yet

The wonders of Sitemeter.

This is, so far, my favorite phrase that a reader has used to find a way to the compound:

"photographs of leola mcconnell as a dominatrix"

I saw this and my first thought was, who the f*ck is Leola McConnell? My second thought was, how did that possibly lead someone to the compound?

Leola McConnell is running for governor of Nevada, as a Democrat, and claims to have been William "Book of Virtues" Bennett's personal dominatrix from 1998-2003, and I totally forgot that I wrote about her back in July.

I'm strong...I can kick...

As it turns out, Crispin was probably in character as Rubin from the (at the time, unreleased) movie Rubin and Ed. Here it is:

Easy Way Out

That's what I'm taking by putting up this educational film instead of writing something meaningful.

Right from the start of this movie you know drugs are bad, because of all the synthesizers and bongo drums. It's very disorienting. If you take drugs, you might end up like the chicks on the red tray.

Celebrity News

Today is celebrity news day.

According to well-placed sources, Madonna and Angelina Jolie have agreed on a plan to divide up Africa's Children.

My new favorite website

AV Geeks - Have 18,000 films. Will Travel.

These people have a massive library of educational films and PSA's. Even better, they've got about 80 of them on YouTube.


I am so happy.

Sex and drugs week at the Compound will resume shortly.

Journey to the center of Jackie Gleason's mind

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, I'd really like to see Jackie Gleason tripping on LSD, with his trip visions populated by Mickey Rooney, Groucho Marx, Peter Lawford, Caesar Romero and Carol Channing.

Well, it's your lucky day. This little gem is courtesy of Bill.

VD Attack Plan, Part II

Let's not forget syphilis, or, as VD Attack refers to it "Attack Force S"

VD Attack Plan, Part 1

So I was sitting around, belting back my last Wild Turkey of the night and celebrating the Bears win, when I had a thought. And that thought was, gee, I should put up a helpful venereal disease educational film on my blog.

And so I am.

This comes to us courtesy, once again, of Bawb the Revelator. Bawb runs the Dream City bureau here at the Compound, keeping me up to date on all things west coast. Bawb is about the smartest person I know, although his dizzying segues from psych jargon to 40's Hollywood fake Chinese hipster sometimes leave me confused.

It turns out that Disney made a venereal disease educational film back in 1973. You can read about it here. It was narrated by Keenan (Colonel Guano) Wynn, which makes it even more awesome. Enjoy:

Mmmmm...creampuffs

Ukranian baker Valentyn Shtefano made this wedding dress for his fiance. It is made of 1,500 cream puffs and weighs 20 pounds.


Somewhere, I know, there's a hillbilly version made out of Krispy Kreme donuts, or maybe even biscuits, with a sash made of bacon.

I shake you warmly by the hand

Armed thug for the rich and fabulous

That's me.

I took a break from representing the armed might of the state this past Friday night, and decided to make some extra money as a private bodyguard. My assignment: escort a model wearing about $1.25 million in jewelry to a charity event, stand by discretely for a few hours, and then escort the jewels back to a safe place. Very pleasant. I finished off the evening by driving through Logan Square and checking out the crowd my eldest was biking around Chicago with.

And, as of Saturday night, we got tickets to see the Raconteurs at the Riviera in December. Our first holiday event to look forward to!

Stay tuned this week. I have some choice freakery to lay on you all.

R.I.P. CBGB

BBC NEWS Entertainment Legendary punk club CBGB closes

Sad news today, but the spirit lives on. As Patti Smith says in this NY Times article:

"Kids, they'll find some other club," Ms. Smith insisted during her set. "You just got a place, just some crappy place, that nobody wants, and you got one guy who believes in you, and you just do your thing. And anybody can do that, anywhere in the world, any time."

Friday Random Ten (Happy Friday 13th!)

It's that time again. Set those mp3 players to random (or, like on our i-tunes, "party shuffle") and list the first ten tunes that appear. You can post the results over at American Idle. You can also find links at Just A Cool Cat, Splink, Bliss and Bile , My head is a box filled with nothing, Heavy Lift With Caution.

Here's my list for today:

1) Crossroads – Tom Waits

2) Deuces Wild – Link Wray

3) Close Range – New Order

4) Take On Me – a- Ha

5) Toxicity – System of a Down

6) Highway 61 Revisited – Bob Dylan

7) Broken Bricks – White Stripes

8) Marian – Sisters of Mercy

9) We’ll Meet Again – Johnny Cash

10) Pearly Lee – Billy Riley

Great googly moogly, I've been tagged!

I feel like Sally Field blubbering at the Oscars now. Thanks for tagging me Dale. I am somebody!

1) Would you bungee jump?
Maybe. I know they're supposed to discourage drunks from doing stuff like that, but I might slip through the cracks.

2) If you could do anything in the world for a living what would it be?
It's a three way tie: smoke jumper, fighter pilot or celebrity chef.

3) Your favorite fictional animal?
The skunk ape.

4) One person who never fails to make you laugh?
My daughter Hannah.

5) When you were 12 years old what did you want to be when you grew up?
An actor.

6) What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
Put my left hand on MizBubs' exquisite hip.

7) Have you ever gone to therapy?
Does choir practice count?

8) If you could have one super power what would it be?
Flying. Oh yeah, definitely flying.

9) Your favorite cartoon character?
Pepe Le Pew

10) Do you go to church?
Not as often as I should. But I mean well.

11) What is your best childhood memory?
Riding my bike to the swamp. Or listening to Tom Jones on AM radio in the kitchen, waiting for my dad to get home from work.

12) Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
Oh hell no. I love it. And gays ought to have it too.

13) Do you own a gun?
Yep. Several. I view one of my roles in this life to be introducing decent, pacifist-leaning leftists to the shooting sports.

14) Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex.
Never. That would be a chickenshit thing to do.

15) Have you ever sung in front of a large group of people?
Too many times, but most notably in Leixlip, Ireland, where I performed a rousing rendition of Wreck of the Old 97 in the Wonderful Barn.

16) What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Eyes.

17) What is your biggest mistake?
Aw jeez. Ask Miz Bubs. I can't remember all of em.

18) Say something totally random about yourself.
I make stuff up.

19) Has anyone ever said that you look like a celebrity?
Yes. I got mistaken for Shane McGowan once at the Vic Theatre. My mom used to think I looked like Jerry Seinfeld, and most recently Anthony Bourdain.

20) What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you?
Arrange a beautiful picnic indoors. And some stuff that happened in Las Vegas that I can't talk about because I'm a gentleman.

21) Do you actually read these when other people fill them out?
Yes, eagerly.

22) Is it wrong not to tag anyone?
I don't know. I'm still learning the etiquette.

But I'll tag MizBubs, Nora and my sister in law Kate. Kate, you need to mosey over from OD and get yourself a profile.

I got a beef with Costco

Do I ever.

I go into Costco to buy my usual supply of fresh tube socks, popcorn chicken and frozen Chinese dumplings, and what do I see?

CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS. In October. Two weeks before Halloween even gets here. WTF? Not even a turkey planter or light-up pilgrim. Skip Thanksgiving altogether and no acknowledgement whatsoever of Halloween, other than the usual bigass bags of candy that they carry all year long anyway.

It was profoundly disturbing, and it set off a premature bout of holiday melancholy. And now I'm mad at Costco, which sucks, because those smug bastards at Costco know I'll never go to Sam's Club.

Cops slaughter rogue emu

This just in from Granite City, Illinois:

After days of menacing passing cars, a kill-crazy emu was shot to death by local police.

Illinois is facing a rising wave of emu attacks. In June, police in Carbondale were confronted by the emu version of the Terminator--a bird that fell only after being hit by 5 shotgun blasts and 3 rifle rounds.

The emu incidents aren't limited to Illinois, either. According to this piece on the Forbes website, emus have terrorized children at a school in West Virginia and have fought off attempts to subdue them with police stun guns in Wisconsin.

News from Iowa

Meet Marcy Grant.

According to this story, this cornfed dame from Davenport, Iowa, offered her 4 year old son as payment for a wedding dress. She did not attempt to barter away her 10 year old son, presumably because of the income he brings in working at the local pork mill.

Boors beware

There's a budding movement out there to document accounts of men behaving like assholes in public places like subways, parks and restaurants, and then post them on the internets, along with cellphone-snapped pictures when available.

It's about time, and I hope this idea really takes off. I'm always stunned at horrendous conduct that too many of my fellow men feel entitled to engage in. Some public shame is in order, and long overdue.

There's a new site, HollaBack CHICAGO that's loosely affiliated with a bunch of other sites doing the same thing.

Give them a visit.

Law Enforcement Quote of the Week

There's no f*cking falling over the edge with Sheriff Hoyt. He's a sexually perverted homicidal maniac.

-R. Lee Ermey, describing his role in Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

You can read the entire interview here at RadarOnline.

Why they call it "dope"

ASU student recovers from 2-story fall

I can imagine this kid, when he's back in the dorm and he sees the prankster who sent him scurrying out a second-story window:

"Dude. That was so not cool."

Man "looking for puppy" really was

Whew. He wasn't trying to abduct little children after all. It seems a man visiting Pearland, Texas, alarmed several local residents after asking if they'd seen his lost puppy. They notified the police, who eventually located the man, and verified that he really was looking for a lost puppy. I wonder if he was dressed as a clown and driving a black van.

This story comes from my friend Dena over at Beauty Convulsion. Visit her and console her about her soggy basement, and ask about her e-bay site. She's got cool stuff.

In other news from Pearland, teenage horseplay at the high school turned ugly when one student repeatedly stabbed another with some scissors.

Bush and Foley discuss measuring

"As a matter of fact, I get a little nervous when I hear people say, well, I don't want to be measured. My attitude is, what are you trying to hide? How can you solve a problem until you measure the problem? How can you make sure a child is achieving what we all want if you don't measure early..."

--President George W. Bush, at an October 5th press conference. The above quote is taken directly from the official White House web site.

I found the photo over here at Salon.com, under this caption:

Maf54 (8:08:31 PM): Get a ruler and measure it for me

Finding the compound

I've seen Dale and Lulu write entertainingly about how people find their blogs. It sent me searching through Site Meter to see who was stumbling into the compound, and why. I was somewhat disappointed that, in spite of my best efforts to provide a cavalcade of freakery, the searches revealed by the Site Meter were pretty mundane:

"shadow of the bear" payton

KISS Tribute

sprawling ramshackle compound (which is nearly as likely to send you to Cup of Coffey, Passion of the Dale or the Armed Forces Journal)

stumbleupon

Inthewrongplaceness

This last search surprised me. I wrote about a goofy performance art piece (featuring a naked Kira O'Reilly cradling a dead pig for several hours) back on September 1st. Since then Kira must have gotten some coverage, because I got a few Canadians and Germans googling "Intthewrongplaceness."

robert friedlander, U of Miami employee